Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, I parked in front of a grocery store and took the portable GPS system off the mount on the dashboard and put it in my pocket so no one would break into my car and steal it. When I got back, the window was smashed and someone had stolen the plastic mount. FML

#5194159
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37757) - you deserved it (3115)

On 09/11/2009 at 8:40pm - misc - by sucksforme (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

#4896361
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42380) - you deserved it (9343)

On 08/29/2009 at 12:27am - love - by notenough (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, for my birthday, my mom presented me with a $4,000 check to pay for my braces. I've been very self-conscious about my teeth for years. Everyone applauded and told me how happy they were for me. Later, my mom asked me for the check back. Apparently it was just meant to make her look good. FML

#4859599
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64868) - you deserved it (2362)

On 08/27/2009 at 1:23pm - money - by crookedteeth (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML

#4845223
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63642) - you deserved it (3219)

On 08/26/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by AreYouSerious (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

#4837442
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47808) - you deserved it (4106)

On 08/26/2009 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead-mouse water for the past week. FML

#4830976
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53018) - you deserved it (10046)

On 08/26/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by hantavirus (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried to surprise my parents on their first day back from New York with candles I made. I used actual lavender flecks from our garden for the scent in the candles. My plan worked until the lavender caught on fire which then spread to all of our mail and newspapers. Welcome home. FML

#4815295
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29260) - you deserved it (10153)

On 08/25/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I spilled my heart out to a guy by showing him one of my poetry journals. He read through it and said, "Wow, I feel sorry for the guy you wrote about." The poems were all about how I loved him. FML

#4747171
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28730) - you deserved it (7222)

On 08/22/2009 at 10:41pm - love - by storyofmylife (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got a raise. A 10 cent raise. I have worked at my job for over 3 years. I now make 20 cents more an hour than people that have only worked there 3 minutes. FML

#4586443
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38982) - you deserved it (3504)

On 08/16/2009 at 11:19pm - work - by fmjob (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that not only has my father been cheating on my mother with another woman, but they have a child together with the same name as me. FML

Today, I was on the phone with my mother making arrangements to go to a dinner tonight where I will be honored for my political activism. She made it clear she's only going for me, and does NOT support the gay rights group that is putting the dinner on. I was planning on coming out after dinner. FML

#4391882
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42769) - you deserved it (7086)

On 08/08/2009 at 7:59pm - misc - by acorn (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend called me from her parents' house where she is visiting. They were BBQing outside when out of the blue her childhood friend Adam showed up at the door for the BBQ. She asked her parents why he was there, and her dad replied that he "wants her to know that she has options." FML

#4267489
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39381) - you deserved it (2547)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:36pm - love - by Brandon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finished my internship working in a government lab. I got paid $4000 for the summer. I was talking to my cousin, who said that when he worked as a carnie last summer he made $8000. I get paid half as much for doing research as a carnie does for serving people sno-cones. FML

#4241415
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34396) - you deserved it (5094)

On 08/02/2009 at 10:40pm - money - by arghhh (woman) - United States (Oregon)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: