FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML

by Foxy / 01/10/2010 at 12:36pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML

by Snowin2007 / 01/09/2010 at 3:16am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom finally believed me when I said I smelled mold. I lifted up the couch, and it was covered in mold. So were the bottoms of all our furniture, our beds, and my grandma's vintage chair. We've been living in mold for the past 4 months. FML

by moudly / 01/06/2010 at 4:28pm / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML

by planes / 12/30/2009 at 1:27am / United States (Oregon) / Transportation

Today, at the office, after a heavy night of drinking, I had to hear my boss walk around with bells attached to her shoes. She circled the office a total of 34 times today. FML

by bells / 12/30/2009 at 1:08am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, my boyfriend asked me why girls don't have armpit hair. FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2009 at 11:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my last day at work. I was offered a better job and accepted. Not wanting to leave my present boss hanging, I asked for time to give notice. While I trained my replacement, the owner at the new job had time to think about how slow the season is, and he decided not to fill the position. FML

by BadKitty42 / 12/14/2009 at 3:12am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML

by WIIslave / 12/14/2009 at 2:49am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I was at the theatre with my 4-year-old son who was situated on my lap. Halfway through the movie, he turns to face me and states loudly, "Mommy, your legs are so furry!". Everyone watching the show turned and stared at us. FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2009 at 1:58am / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I was accepted to college and received a scholarship equal to almost half the tuition. After sharing this news with my parents, I spent the next 35 minutes getting yelled at about how I wasn't allowed to go there because my boyfriend might go there. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2009 at 6:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate came in slamming the front door. I guess he doesn't know that you can't throw hot water on frozen windows. He came up all pissed and called his insurance because he cracked the windshield. We have the same car, in the same exact color. Turns out he threw the water on mine. FML

by Sous_Chef / 12/11/2009 at 3:32am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2009 at 1:53am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, my boyfriend finally invited me over to his parents house so I could meet them. My boyfriend, his dad and I were sitting in the living room, when I saw a really sketchy person outside, so I said, "There is some creepy hobo man outside, messing with your trash." The "creepy hobo" was his mom. FML

by CheLi / 12/08/2009 at 12:09am / United States (Oregon) / Love