FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, my wife handed over most of our son's college fund, in cash, to an investment scammer going by the name "Herp A. Derpson". FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 12:02am / United States (Oregon) / Money

Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML

by UnfortunatelySingle / 07/21/2015 at 2:15am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I got in trouble for missing my shift. According to my idiot boss, "Crashes don't just happen." FML

by yeah / 07/17/2015 at 10:59am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML

by whymomwhy / 07/11/2015 at 1:20pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future". even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML

by WayToGoDaddyHo / 07/08/2015 at 2:17am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my idiot boss placed an expensive order for anti-bullying banners that read: "Take a stand against bullying!" This would be fine if I didn't work in a specialized school for children in wheelchairs. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2015 at 5:29am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, one of my friends asked me to flirt with her boyfriend to see if he would flirt back. Knowing this was a trust test, I agreed. She got pissed at me when he flirted back and still isn't speaking to me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2015 at 4:55am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML

by Arcanin3Boss / 06/23/2015 at 2:37am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my mother-in-law trying to plant a GPS tracker on my car. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2015 at 1:08am / United States (Oregon) / Transportation

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML

by canessadawn / 06/17/2015 at 3:42am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2015 at 11:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate was making a waterproof iPhone case and decided to use my phone to test it out. It didn't work. FML

by Crombinator / 05/01/2015 at 1:30am / United States (Oregon) / Geek

Today, I filled out an online application for a internship. I didn't have all the info I need to complete it, but it wouldn't let me leave anything blank so to move along I filled in crap answers. I pressed "Save". It sent my draft in. I now have to explain that "Jesus" isn't actually my reference. FML

by unprofessional / 04/13/2015 at 1:20am / United States (Oregon) / Work