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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, my roommate came in slamming the front door. I guess he doesn't know that you can't throw hot water on frozen windows. He came up all pissed and called his insurance because he cracked the windshield. We have the same car, in the same exact color. Turns out he threw the water on mine. FML

#6705555
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30836) - you deserved it (2605)

On 12/11/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by Sous_Chef (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML

#6660258
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11355) - you deserved it (21598)

On 12/08/2009 at 1:53am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend finally invited me over to his parents house so I could meet them. My boyfriend, his dad and I were sitting in the living room, when I saw a really sketchy person outside, so I said, "There is some creepy hobo man outside, messing with your trash." The "creepy hobo" was his mom. FML

#6658638
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9424) - you deserved it (35572)

On 12/08/2009 at 12:09am - love - by CheLi (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML

#6612608
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19692) - you deserved it (2586)

On 12/05/2009 at 4:07am - intimacy - by lastalittlelonger (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I bought $300 worth of climbing equipment because I had lost mine six months ago, I hadn't gone to the climbing gym since I'd lost it. I went today because I was so excited to go climbing again. However, it turns out that I'd left my gear there, and it had been in the Lost and Found for the past six months. FML

Today, my family went to the Christmas tree farm, and cut down the perfect tree. When we got home we put the kids down for a nap and took some time to relax. We went out to the truck to bring the tree into the house, it was gone. Someone stole my Christmas tree from my driveway in broad daylight. FML

#6565181
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28545) - you deserved it (5160)

On 12/02/2009 at 5:57am - misc - by Project-Mayhem (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I hit a parked car. It happened to be my driving instructor's car. While he was instructing me, sitting in the passenger seat. I don't think I'll pass. FML

#6497177
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21770) - you deserved it (12680)

On 11/28/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by badDriver (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

#6401291
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22230) - you deserved it (4040)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Arachnaphobic (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "so does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML

#6387420
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39245) - you deserved it (2473)

On 11/21/2009 at 12:59am - love - by Fail (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML

#6367653
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (5823)

On 11/19/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by Sam_Licker81 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was having trouble blowing out the last of the several candles on my bedside table. Exasperated, I blew as hard as I could, which sent hot wax from the other candles shooting into the air, all over my face and into my eyes. FML

#6310101
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20471) - you deserved it (10995)

On 11/15/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by shiiiiit (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML

#6241352
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7643) - you deserved it (25157)

On 11/10/2009 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Volume_control (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I stepped away from my desk for a few minutes only to return to find the general manager installing updates on my computer. This wouldn't have been an issue had I not pulled up a website explaining in great detail the effects and causes of vaginal yeast infections. FML

#6156368
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9848) - you deserved it (26359)

On 11/04/2009 at 7:40pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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