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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, I saw a man on the bus with the strangest band shirt I have ever seen. I could not help but stare at it and try and figure what the band was, until he turned to me and said "why not take a picture asshole?" then got off the bus. As he walked away I saw that he was missing an arm. FML

#8737803
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27749) - you deserved it (5874)

On 03/01/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by theholt (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was walking around my new school trying to figure out where to go. Then I realized I was talking to myself. Out loud. FML

#8578589
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20238) - you deserved it (10040)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by itsawonderfulife (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a guy I'd been seeing off and on for the past three years broke things off over a Facebook message. I replied, and told him that I was at least worth a phone call. He replied "Well, I'm sorry, I disagree." FML

#8563536
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26102) - you deserved it (4329)

On 02/22/2010 at 7:53pm - love - by notworthit (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML

#8492121
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10792) - you deserved it (30332)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by AwwChute (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got banned from my boyfriend's house for being an "insurance liability." FML

#8423454
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20598) - you deserved it (4004)

On 02/18/2010 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island. We sleep 3 feet away from each other and he has been doing this since Christmas. FML

#8400903
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22238) - you deserved it (2664)

On 02/18/2010 at 4:48am - misc - by Oze (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got my new work schedule. I really need the hours. The boss says he can't give me more because the economy is bad. However, he did find enough hours to hire his son last week. This week? Most of my hours were erased and given to the new employee; his daughter. FML

#8116089
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28717) - you deserved it (2077)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:03am - work - by suuuucks (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was in class and noticed that it smelled strongly of cat urine. I smelled my shoulder and realized that my cat had peed on my sweater. I had six hours of classes left, and the smell had permeated my shirt. FML

#8094791
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23148) - you deserved it (5668)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:19pm - animals - by snickerdoodles (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, in art class, I tried to attract my crush's attention by slowly sitting down in front of him. Too bad I missed the chair and fell onto the floor. FML

#8038952
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9613) - you deserved it (32660)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:50am - love - by Unknown (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML

#7946141
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10278) - you deserved it (21136)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Sully (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

#7870417
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23976) - you deserved it (3245)

On 02/04/2010 at 3:40am - health - by littlespoon (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

#7736774
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32510) - you deserved it (12409)

On 01/31/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was potty training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML

#7642082
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30262) - you deserved it (3589)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:55pm - kids - by jmitch1209 (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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