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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

#7293990
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25337) - you deserved it (8102)

On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML

#7257583
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17711) - you deserved it (2880)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML

#7231026
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25578) - you deserved it (6745)

On 01/09/2010 at 3:16am - misc - by Snowin2007 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom finally believed me when I said I smelled mold. I lifted up the couch, and it was covered in mold. So were the bottoms of all our furniture, our beds, and my grandma's vintage chair. We've been living in mold for the past 4 months. FML

#7183279
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25856) - you deserved it (4407)

On 01/06/2010 at 4:28pm - health - by moudly (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML

#7027797
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31091) - you deserved it (2174)

On 12/30/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by planes - United States (Oregon)

Today, at the office, after a heavy night of drinking, I had to hear my boss walk around with bells attached to her shoes. She circled the office a total of 34 times today. FML

#7027247
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10072) - you deserved it (24112)

On 12/30/2009 at 1:08am - work - by bells - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend asked me why girls don't have armpit hair. FML

#6758302
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26900) - you deserved it (5415)

On 12/14/2009 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it was my last day at work. I was offered a better job and accepted. Not wanting to leave my present boss hanging, I asked for time to give notice. While I trained my replacement, the owner at the new job had time to think about how slow the season is, and he decided not to fill the position. FML

#6748565
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24683) - you deserved it (3251)

On 12/14/2009 at 3:12am - work - by BadKitty42 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML

#6748353
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9279) - you deserved it (24273)

On 12/14/2009 at 2:49am - health - by WIIslave (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at the theatre with my 4-year-old son who was situated on my lap. Halfway through the movie, he turns to face me and states loudly, "Mommy, your legs are so furry!". Everyone watching the show turned and stared at us. FML

#6747789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22343) - you deserved it (8086)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:58am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was accepted to college and received a scholarship equal to almost half the tuition. After sharing this news with my parents, I spent the next 35 minutes getting yelled at about how I wasn't allowed to go there because my boyfriend might go there. FML

#6740380
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34413) - you deserved it (2043)

On 12/13/2009 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my roommate came in slamming the front door. I guess he doesn't know that you can't throw hot water on frozen windows. He came up all pissed and called his insurance because he cracked the windshield. We have the same car, in the same exact color. Turns out he threw the water on mine. FML

#6705555
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30737) - you deserved it (2596)

On 12/11/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by Sous_Chef (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML

#6660258
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11292) - you deserved it (21524)

On 12/08/2009 at 1:53am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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