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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML

#10658705
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15149) - you deserved it (239528)

On 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Chichensoup (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after about a month with no sex, my girlfriend told me to come up to her room and began kissing me passionately. She got me down to my underwear before informing me that she had Spanish homework left. To make things better, upon finishing up, she went straight to sleep. FML

#9672080
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29816) - you deserved it (5265)

On 04/06/2010 at 3:10am - intimacy - by BluBaller (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

#9048258
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22476) - you deserved it (9853)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by smellsgood (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I apologized to my boyfriend for thinking he was cheating on me right before another girl posted pictures of them together on her myspace. FML

#8882975
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26048) - you deserved it (3331)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:21am - love - by me - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw a man on the bus with the strangest band shirt I have ever seen. I could not help but stare at it and try and figure what the band was, until he turned to me and said "why not take a picture asshole?" then got off the bus. As he walked away I saw that he was missing an arm. FML

#8737803
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25036) - you deserved it (5571)

On 03/01/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by theholt (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was walking around my new school trying to figure out where to go. Then I realized I was talking to myself. Out loud. FML

#8578589
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17573) - you deserved it (9485)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by itsawonderfulife (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a guy I'd been seeing off and on for the past three years broke things off over a Facebook message. I replied, and told him that I was at least worth a phone call. He replied "Well, I'm sorry, I disagree." FML

#8563536
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23187) - you deserved it (3946)

On 02/22/2010 at 7:53pm - love - by notworthit (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML

#8492121
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9637) - you deserved it (27571)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by AwwChute (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got banned from my boyfriend's house for being an "insurance liability." FML

#8423454
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17773) - you deserved it (3685)

On 02/18/2010 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island. We sleep 3 feet away from each other and he has been doing this since Christmas. FML

#8400903
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19561) - you deserved it (2402)

On 02/18/2010 at 4:48am - misc - by Oze (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got my new work schedule. I really need the hours. The boss says he can't give me more because the economy is bad. However, he did find enough hours to hire his son last week. This week? Most of my hours were erased and given to the new employee; his daughter. FML

#8116089
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25602) - you deserved it (1851)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:03am - work - by suuuucks (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was in class and noticed that it smelled strongly of cat urine. I smelled my shoulder and realized that my cat had peed on my sweater. I had six hours of classes left, and the smell had permeated my shirt. FML

#8094791
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20764) - you deserved it (5349)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:19pm - animals - by snickerdoodles (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, in art class, I tried to attract my crush's attention by slowly sitting down in front of him. Too bad I missed the chair and fell onto the floor. FML

#8038952
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8497) - you deserved it (29863)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:50am - love - by Unknown (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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