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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML

#14960685
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39745) - you deserved it (2765)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:14pm - love - by Saberwolf (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

#14866852
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19147) - you deserved it (27255)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I worked out that if I paid the minimum monthly amount on my student loans, I'd be paying them until I'm 65. FML

#14636312
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25983) - you deserved it (5383)

On 01/19/2011 at 6:05am - money - by fuckall (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that the girl who my high school boyfriend cheated on me with is now the woman my husband is having an affair with. FML

#14503708
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61814) - you deserved it (3596)

On 01/08/2011 at 12:22am - misc - by sad (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was stripped of my starting position on my high school basketball team. The reason? I was three minutes late to practice. Why was I late? My coach called me five minutes before practice and made me get him a coffee or else he wouldn't start me. FML

#14430499
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36664) - you deserved it (3061)

On 01/01/2011 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, instead of watching a movie like a normal family, we performed random acts of kindness by handing out roses to total strangers in the freezing cold. No one would take them. FML

#14400512
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26870) - you deserved it (5676)

On 12/30/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a group of carolers was coming up my street, so I went out in the cold to wait for them. When they finally arrived, I waved and greeted them. They huddled up discussing something while pointing at me, then skipped my house. FML

#14306647
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25453) - you deserved it (4485)

On 12/23/2010 at 2:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I overheard my husband telling my step-dad that I have the same ability to sniff out chocolate in a house as a certain animal has to find truffles in the woods. FML

#14294179
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18448) - you deserved it (5833)

On 12/22/2010 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I asked my wife for her computer password because my computer crashed. After minutes of begging she finally told me. Turns out that her password happens to be her ex's name. FML

#14227030
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28584) - you deserved it (3262)

On 12/16/2010 at 7:20pm - love - by expassword (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "my mom is SO awesome." FML

#14128244
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30921) - you deserved it (3539)

On 12/08/2010 at 3:22am - intimacy - by ooblie (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML

#13995659
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30254) - you deserved it (3738)

On 11/27/2010 at 2:08am - intimacy - by >{%£•¥ - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

#13818432
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22124) - you deserved it (13201)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by penguins (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML

#13814299
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20976) - you deserved it (38811)

On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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