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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML

#18508654
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34959) - you deserved it (11432)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML

#18474443
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25356) - you deserved it (3110)

On 12/10/2011 at 5:14am - misc - by dee - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me with a woman twice my age. I'm 32. FML

#18353006
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49916) - you deserved it (3625)

On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I chipped a tooth trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. FML

#18343530
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10653) - you deserved it (27946)

On 11/25/2011 at 1:27am - health - by yollew - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband threw up in the shower after drinking almost a whole bottle of wine. The shower won't drain now. Happy Thanksgiving. FML

Today, I learned that my roommate, the one in charge of the cooking, never washes her hands beforehand. According to her, it boosts her immune system. FML

#18297525
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28015) - you deserved it (3921)

On 11/20/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had an anxiety attack because I thought I'd lost my anxiety medication. It ended up being on the shelf right where I left it. FML

#18260815
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21707) - you deserved it (9700)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:11am - health - by anxiety (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML

#18159887
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14542) - you deserved it (35105)

On 11/04/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

#17996037
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37957) - you deserved it (5294)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:15am - work - by Unemployed - United States (Oregon)

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

#17987492
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42797) - you deserved it (3523)

On 10/15/2011 at 3:18am - misc - by Ca13b - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally told my crush that I like her. She said she could never date me, because apparently, "My best friend likes you." Her best friend is my step-sister. FML

#17758843
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31077) - you deserved it (2192)

On 09/16/2011 at 5:10pm - love - by messed up - United States (Oregon)

Today, while at the beach, my little brother's hat blew off. I chased after it before I completely lost sight and realized I was no match for the wind. I get back and he's wearing the hat. I chased a fucking trash bag for a mile thinking it was his hat. FML

#17729862
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25422) - you deserved it (10212)

On 09/12/2011 at 6:32pm - misc - by justhereforlaughs (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

#17688076
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27865) - you deserved it (7247)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by thismakesmesad (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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