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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "my mom is SO awesome." FML

#14128244
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30065) - you deserved it (3467)

On 12/08/2010 at 3:22am - intimacy - by ooblie (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML

#13995659
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28578) - you deserved it (3563)

On 11/27/2010 at 2:08am - intimacy - by >{%£•¥ - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

#13818432
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21879) - you deserved it (13147)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by penguins (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML

#13814299
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19912) - you deserved it (37600)

On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I ran into a police officer while on my bike. It wouldn't be so bad, had he not been riding a massive horse. FML

Today, I lost control of my vehicle while driving. The car went off the road, rolled over, and ended up being totaled. The policeman asked me if I was alright and I said I was. He seemed relieved at my answer. Then he handed me a $300 ticket for failing to maintain my lane. FML

#13727152
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17902) - you deserved it (5179)

On 11/05/2010 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML

#13708556
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23598) - you deserved it (14811)

On 11/03/2010 at 11:16pm - love - by bummed (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at my new job, I was answering the phone and said "Hello Cafe Thirty, how may I help you?" The man on the other line said "Don't you mean Old Town Cafe?" Cafe Thirty was my old job. I now work at Old Town Cafe. The man on the other line was my boss. FML

#13493861
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12535) - you deserved it (23741)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:39am - work - by andibartle - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
418 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45858) - you deserved it (14685)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML

#13124550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32431) - you deserved it (2985)

On 09/20/2010 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Thomas - United States (Oregon)

Today, after going on a blind date with a man I had met on facebook, we decided to go back to his apartment. All was going good until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML

#12929120
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37715) - you deserved it (18282)

On 09/06/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my minivan broke down on the side of the highway. I'm out of work and can't afford a cell phone, so I resorted to standing at the back of my van holding a "HELP" sign. About an hour went by, in which time I was passed by a cop car, a firetruck, and a car that said "Roadside Assistance." FML

#12858373
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32104) - you deserved it (3192)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:11pm - misc - by Forded (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML

#12438687
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26896) - you deserved it (12129)

On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)



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