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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML

#13814299
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16245) - you deserved it (28463)

On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I ran into a police officer while on my bike. It wouldn't be so bad, had he not been riding a massive horse. FML

Today, I lost control of my vehicle while driving. The car went off the road, rolled over, and ended up being totaled. The policeman asked me if I was alright and I said I was. He seemed relieved at my answer. Then he handed me a $300 ticket for failing to maintain my lane. FML

#13727152
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16195) - you deserved it (4893)

On 11/05/2010 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML

#13708556
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22006) - you deserved it (14250)

On 11/03/2010 at 11:16pm - love - by bummed (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at my new job, I was answering the phone and said "Hello Cafe Thirty, how may I help you?" The man on the other line said "Don't you mean Old Town Cafe?" Cafe Thirty was my old job. I now work at Old Town Cafe. The man on the other line was my boss. FML

#13493861
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11757) - you deserved it (22660)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:39am - work - by andibartle - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42297) - you deserved it (13768)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML

#13124550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30536) - you deserved it (2816)

On 09/20/2010 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Thomas - United States (Oregon)

Today, after going on a blind date with a man I had met on facebook, we decided to go back to his apartment. All was going good until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML

#12929120
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33703) - you deserved it (16950)

On 09/06/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my minivan broke down on the side of the highway. I'm out of work and can't afford a cell phone, so I resorted to standing at the back of my van holding a "HELP" sign. About an hour went by, in which time I was passed by a cop car, a firetruck, and a car that said "Roadside Assistance." FML

#12858373
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30003) - you deserved it (2996)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:11pm - misc - by Forded (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML

#12438687
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21511) - you deserved it (9352)

On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

#12241266
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31542) - you deserved it (10720)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)

Today, I noticed my husband chews his tongue while we are having it off. He also does this while he is playing World of Warcraft. FML

#12239947
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22987) - you deserved it (6042)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Nuttree (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML

#12077733
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9335) - you deserved it (31443)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by tstaeger (man) - United States (Oregon)



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