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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, I was stripped of my starting position on my high school basketball team. The reason? I was three minutes late to practice. Why was I late? My coach called me five minutes before practice and made me get him a coffee or else he wouldn't start me. FML

#14430499
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35064) - you deserved it (2934)

On 01/01/2011 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, instead of watching a movie like a normal family, we performed random acts of kindness by handing out roses to total strangers in the freezing cold. No one would take them. FML

#14400512
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24302) - you deserved it (5375)

On 12/30/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a group of carolers was coming up my street, so I went out in the cold to wait for them. When they finally arrived, I waved and greeted them. They huddled up discussing something while pointing at me, then skipped my house. FML

#14306647
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23398) - you deserved it (4224)

On 12/23/2010 at 2:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I overheard my husband telling my step-dad that I have the same ability to sniff out chocolate in a house as a certain animal has to find truffles in the woods. FML

#14294179
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17406) - you deserved it (5679)

On 12/22/2010 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I asked my wife for her computer password because my computer crashed. After minutes of begging she finally told me. Turns out that her password happens to be her ex's name. FML

#14227030
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25673) - you deserved it (3014)

On 12/16/2010 at 7:20pm - love - by expassword (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "my mom is SO awesome." FML

#14128244
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28958) - you deserved it (3342)

On 12/08/2010 at 3:22am - intimacy - by ooblie (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML

#13995659
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25793) - you deserved it (3285)

On 11/27/2010 at 2:08am - intimacy - by >{%£•¥ - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

#13818432
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19476) - you deserved it (12031)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by penguins (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML

#13814299
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16332) - you deserved it (28623)

On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I ran into a police officer while on my bike. It wouldn't be so bad, had he not been riding a massive horse. FML

Today, I lost control of my vehicle while driving. The car went off the road, rolled over, and ended up being totaled. The policeman asked me if I was alright and I said I was. He seemed relieved at my answer. Then he handed me a $300 ticket for failing to maintain my lane. FML

#13727152
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17808) - you deserved it (5167)

On 11/05/2010 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML

#13708556
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22157) - you deserved it (14295)

On 11/03/2010 at 11:16pm - love - by bummed (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at my new job, I was answering the phone and said "Hello Cafe Thirty, how may I help you?" The man on the other line said "Don't you mean Old Town Cafe?" Cafe Thirty was my old job. I now work at Old Town Cafe. The man on the other line was my boss. FML

#13493861
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11841) - you deserved it (22757)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:39am - work - by andibartle - United States (Oregon)



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