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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, while playing a gig with my band, I tried pulling the classic "playing the guitar with one foot on the monitor" rock-star pose. However, I misjudged the height of the monitor, didn't notice the puddle of beer in front of it, slipped, and fell off the stage into the security guy. FML

#17679142
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10176) - you deserved it (25121)

On 09/06/2011 at 8:07am - misc - by NotKeithRichards - United States (Oregon)

Today, my whole family piled into our station wagon just to watch my mom take part in an arm wrestling contest. FML

#17634077
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20269) - you deserved it (3335)

On 09/01/2011 at 5:55am - misc - by Chris75 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my stepbrother found my diary and read it. He then told my boyfriend how I had a crush on another guy, and no longer liked him, causing my boyfriend to break up with me. That diary was from the third grade. FML

#17535182
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39779) - you deserved it (3336)

On 08/21/2011 at 2:25am - love - by Tinkerer - United States (Oregon)

Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML

#17478101
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16083) - you deserved it (19593)

On 08/15/2011 at 4:15am - misc - by Michelle - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

#17381652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31197) - you deserved it (5266)

On 08/05/2011 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

#17313020
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39789) - you deserved it (7532)

On 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by cutiekenz21 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom finally admitted to me that ever since I was a child, she thought I was autistic, but was always too lazy to take me to the doctors and get me checked out. FML

#17199829
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33909) - you deserved it (2271)

On 07/21/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I left my bedroom window open to let in some fresh air while I slept. A skunk got in and sprayed my room. FML

#16963316
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28225) - you deserved it (7916)

On 07/03/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by siannacasey - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

#16867812
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10278) - you deserved it (25200)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me to sneeze seven times in a row. That was the closest he's ever got me to an orgasm. FML

#16757067
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36344) - you deserved it (7822)

On 06/20/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I fell asleep as my family drove to church. No one bothered to say anything about the drawings my siblings drew on my face until after church ended. FML

#16628523
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29610) - you deserved it (5253)

On 06/12/2011 at 2:47pm - kids - by Brandy_Dandy78 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss's cat died. I'm expected to attend the service. FML

#16477855
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30835) - you deserved it (3996)

On 06/03/2011 at 12:47am - work - by whymyliferose - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got into a staring contest with my dog. I actually cheered when I won. FML

#16447532
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24681) - you deserved it (11042)

On 06/01/2011 at 3:39am - animals - by Lifeless (man) - United States (Oregon)



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