Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, my mom finally admitted to me that ever since I was a child, she thought I was autistic, but was always too lazy to take me to the doctors and get me checked out. FML

#17199829
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33847) - you deserved it (2267)

On 07/21/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I left my bedroom window open to let in some fresh air while I slept. A skunk got in and sprayed my room. FML

#16963316
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28160) - you deserved it (7905)

On 07/03/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by siannacasey - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

#16867812
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9823) - you deserved it (24386)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me to sneeze seven times in a row. That was the closest he's ever got me to an orgasm. FML

#16757067
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36281) - you deserved it (7814)

On 06/20/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I fell asleep as my family drove to church. No one bothered to say anything about the drawings my siblings drew on my face until after church ended. FML

#16628523
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29548) - you deserved it (5248)

On 06/12/2011 at 2:47pm - kids - by Brandy_Dandy78 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss's cat died. I'm expected to attend the service. FML

#16477855
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30777) - you deserved it (3988)

On 06/03/2011 at 12:47am - work - by whymyliferose - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got into a staring contest with my dog. I actually cheered when I won. FML

#16447532
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24612) - you deserved it (11027)

On 06/01/2011 at 3:39am - animals - by Lifeless (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got hurt and spent the remainder of the day limping. I wish I could say it was from something badass like roller derby, but I can't. A woman with a rolling cart filled with packs of Pepsi rolled over my foot on the bus. FML

#15809237
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23261) - you deserved it (3651)

On 04/16/2011 at 3:18pm - health - by pepsifoot - United States (Oregon)

Today, at 21 years old, I am still so flat chested that I can't even fit into training bras meant for 12 year olds. FML

#15679727
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49607) - you deserved it (5274)

On 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by nerdsgetmehot (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML

#15479009
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31007) - you deserved it (5037)

On 03/25/2011 at 4:50am - misc - by radicaloser - United States (Oregon)

Today, the seat in my car broke and wouldn't move forward. I had to walk to school in the rain because I was too short to reach the pedals. FML

#15254679
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30184) - you deserved it (5354)

On 03/09/2011 at 8:48pm - misc - by ants9omarching (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML

#14960685
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38995) - you deserved it (2707)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:14pm - love - by Saberwolf (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

#14866852
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18418) - you deserved it (26269)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: