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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

#16867812
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9815) - you deserved it (24369)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me to sneeze seven times in a row. That was the closest he's ever got me to an orgasm. FML

#16757067
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36257) - you deserved it (7814)

On 06/20/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I fell asleep as my family drove to church. No one bothered to say anything about the drawings my siblings drew on my face until after church ended. FML

#16628523
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29529) - you deserved it (5248)

On 06/12/2011 at 2:47pm - kids - by Brandy_Dandy78 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss's cat died. I'm expected to attend the service. FML

#16477855
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30765) - you deserved it (3987)

On 06/03/2011 at 12:47am - work - by whymyliferose - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got into a staring contest with my dog. I actually cheered when I won. FML

#16447532
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24593) - you deserved it (11027)

On 06/01/2011 at 3:39am - animals - by Lifeless (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got hurt and spent the remainder of the day limping. I wish I could say it was from something badass like roller derby, but I can't. A woman with a rolling cart filled with packs of Pepsi rolled over my foot on the bus. FML

#15809237
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23248) - you deserved it (3649)

On 04/16/2011 at 3:18pm - health - by pepsifoot - United States (Oregon)

Today, at 21 years old, I am still so flat chested that I can't even fit into training bras meant for 12 year olds. FML

#15679727
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49578) - you deserved it (5275)

On 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by nerdsgetmehot (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML

#15479009
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30987) - you deserved it (5034)

On 03/25/2011 at 4:50am - misc - by radicaloser - United States (Oregon)

Today, the seat in my car broke and wouldn't move forward. I had to walk to school in the rain because I was too short to reach the pedals. FML

#15254679
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30166) - you deserved it (5352)

On 03/09/2011 at 8:48pm - misc - by ants9omarching (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML

#14960685
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38965) - you deserved it (2705)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:14pm - love - by Saberwolf (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

#14866852
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18405) - you deserved it (26249)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I worked out that if I paid the minimum monthly amount on my student loans, I'd be paying them until I'm 65. FML

#14636312
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24143) - you deserved it (5190)

On 01/19/2011 at 6:05am - money - by fuckall (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that the girl who my high school boyfriend cheated on me with is now the woman my husband is having an affair with. FML

#14503708
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61552) - you deserved it (3587)

On 01/08/2011 at 12:22am - misc - by sad (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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