Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

#16867812
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9499) - you deserved it (23754)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me to sneeze seven times in a row. That was the closest he's ever got me to an orgasm. FML

#16757067
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35608) - you deserved it (7721)

On 06/20/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I fell asleep as my family drove to church. No one bothered to say anything about the drawings my siblings drew on my face until after church ended. FML

#16628523
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28657) - you deserved it (5161)

On 06/12/2011 at 2:47pm - kids - by Brandy_Dandy78 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss's cat died. I'm expected to attend the service. FML

#16477855
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29718) - you deserved it (3886)

On 06/03/2011 at 12:47am - work - by whymyliferose - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got into a staring contest with my dog. I actually cheered when I won. FML

#16447532
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20091) - you deserved it (8630)

On 06/01/2011 at 3:39am - animals - by Lifeless (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got hurt and spent the remainder of the day limping. I wish I could say it was from something badass like roller derby, but I can't. A woman with a rolling cart filled with packs of Pepsi rolled over my foot on the bus. FML

#15809237
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22592) - you deserved it (3606)

On 04/16/2011 at 3:18pm - health - by pepsifoot - United States (Oregon)

Today, at 21 years old, I am still so flat chested that I can't even fit into training bras meant for 12 year olds. FML

#15679727
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48212) - you deserved it (5163)

On 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by nerdsgetmehot (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML

#15479009
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29150) - you deserved it (4869)

On 03/25/2011 at 4:50am - misc - by radicaloser - United States (Oregon)

Today, the seat in my car broke and wouldn't move forward. I had to walk to school in the rain because I was too short to reach the pedals. FML

#15254679
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25992) - you deserved it (4910)

On 03/09/2011 at 8:48pm - misc - by ants9omarching (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML

#14960685
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37460) - you deserved it (2575)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:14pm - love - by Saberwolf (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

#14866852
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17091) - you deserved it (24427)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I worked out that if I paid the minimum monthly amount on my student loans, I'd be paying them until I'm 65. FML

#14636312
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22897) - you deserved it (5053)

On 01/19/2011 at 6:05am - money - by fuckall (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that the girl who my high school boyfriend cheated on me with is now the woman my husband is having an affair with. FML

#14503708
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53934) - you deserved it (2804)

On 01/08/2011 at 12:22am - misc - by sad (woman) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: