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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML

#21427425
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26202) - you deserved it (2059)

On 06/17/2015 at 3:42am - love - by canessadawn - United States (Oregon)

Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML

#21417834
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27640) - you deserved it (1808)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my roommate was making a waterproof iPhone case and decided to use my phone to test it out. It didn't work. FML

#21402720
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29766) - you deserved it (3433)

On 05/01/2015 at 1:30am - misc - by Crombinator - United States (Oregon)

Today, I filled out an online application for a internship. I didn't have all the info I need to complete it, but it wouldn't let me leave anything blank so to move along I filled in crap answers. I pressed "Save". It sent my draft in. I now have to explain that "Jesus" isn't actually my reference. FML

#21392735
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16962) - you deserved it (22438)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:20am - work - by unprofessional - United States (Oregon)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML

#21378617
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31693) - you deserved it (4562)

On 03/20/2015 at 9:32pm - love - by tumbleshay - United States (Oregon)

Today, I applied for a job at a local store. As I walked out the door, I heard the manager read it out loud and everybody else laugh. FML

#21370930
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29313) - you deserved it (2494)

On 03/09/2015 at 1:44am - work - by probably not getting the job - United States (Oregon)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18800) - you deserved it (55650)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend confessed to cheating on me. Unfortunately, she's a pathological liar and I can't be sure if it's really true, along with half the stuff she tells me on a daily basis. Love is hard. FML

#21356609
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29686) - you deserved it (9919)

On 02/15/2015 at 11:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

#21349904
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39719) - you deserved it (5048)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by MIB thingy please... (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend ran off with my beloved dog. Why? Yesterday she asked me who I'd choose, and I honestly said that I would choose the dog. FML

Today, I was excited that my sister called me for the first time in months. She asked me to stop watching "Friends" so she could use the Netflix account. Now, I still have an absentee sister and no Friends. FML

#21346655
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25760) - you deserved it (2921)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, on my first ski run down a mountain, I dislocated my patella. Now I get to watch out of the window as my family builds a snowman and names it after me. FML

#21326721
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24598) - you deserved it (2050)

On 12/29/2014 at 8:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, while putting a water bottle into the fridge, I suddenly had to sneeze. The force of my sneezing propelled my head against the open fridge door, causing a gushing wound to my forehead. Bless me. FML

#21326529
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27643) - you deserved it (3100)

On 12/29/2014 at 2:11pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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