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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, I passed out. I fell to the hardwood floor, cut my chin, and bit through my lip. Fortunately, my brother was there to help stop the bleeding and get me some water. All I had to do was wait until he finished his game of Call of Duty. FML

#21457409
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23101) - you deserved it (1709)

On 08/18/2015 at 12:30am - health - by jami898 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my wife handed over most of our son's college fund, in cash, to an investment scammer going by the name "Herp A. Derpson". FML

#21453336
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30190) - you deserved it (3498)

On 08/08/2015 at 12:02am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML

#21444850
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26870) - you deserved it (3209)

On 07/21/2015 at 2:15am - love - by UnfortunatelySingle (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got in trouble for missing my shift. According to my idiot boss, "Crashes don't just happen." FML

#21442988
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27219) - you deserved it (1852)

On 07/17/2015 at 10:59am - work - by yeah - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML

#21440033
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25856) - you deserved it (2750)

On 07/11/2015 at 1:20pm - misc - by whymomwhy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future". even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML

#21438331
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27200) - you deserved it (1682)

On 07/08/2015 at 2:17am - misc - by WayToGoDaddyHo (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my idiot boss placed an expensive order for anti-bullying banners that read: "Take a stand against bullying!" This would be fine if I didn't work in a specialized school for children in wheelchairs. FML

#21436683
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23414) - you deserved it (1719)

On 07/05/2015 at 5:29am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, one of my friends asked me to flirt with her boyfriend to see if he would flirt back. Knowing this was a trust test, I agreed. She got pissed at me when he flirted back and still isn't speaking to me. FML

#21436223
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27303) - you deserved it (4932)

On 07/04/2015 at 4:55am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML

#21430513
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25783) - you deserved it (5618)

On 06/23/2015 at 2:37am - misc - by Arcanin3Boss (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I caught my mother-in-law trying to plant a GPS tracker on my car. FML

#21428876
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28074) - you deserved it (1996)

On 06/20/2015 at 1:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML

#21427425
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27782) - you deserved it (2354)

On 06/17/2015 at 3:42am - love - by canessadawn - United States (Oregon)

Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML

#21417834
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28989) - you deserved it (2013)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my roommate was making a waterproof iPhone case and decided to use my phone to test it out. It didn't work. FML

#21402720
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31319) - you deserved it (3816)

On 05/01/2015 at 1:30am - misc - by Crombinator - United States (Oregon)



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