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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, I tried a soup sample at a supermarket. An employee then came over and started asking me questions about how I got the cup for the sample, telling me it wasn't store policy to just give out sample cups. I was so stressed that I broke down crying in the middle of the supermarket. FML

Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML

#21271247
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38490) - you deserved it (2469)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:48pm - health - by Eww - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

#21268339
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43064) - you deserved it (3969)

On 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I flew across country to college. My luggage did not. FML

#21262400
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35083) - you deserved it (2811)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:51am - misc - by Need Clothes Now (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

#21256116
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42952) - you deserved it (15743)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:33am - misc - by lolwut - United States (Oregon)

Today, my cat decided to use my bowl of rice krispies as his litter box. FML

Today, I saw someone purposely drive into someone's garbage can with their car. Trying to be nice, I stopped and started to pick it up. As I did, the owner came out of his house and chased me away with a knife. FML

#21250496
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36548) - you deserved it (3460)

On 09/02/2014 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw a customer wandering around, looking confused. I went over and kindly asked if I could help him find anything. He said no, but that he'd help me find the teeth he'd knock out of my mouth if I didn't get lost. FML

#21248418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34334) - you deserved it (2733)

On 08/30/2014 at 11:14am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my brother thought jumping out and punching me in the stomach would cure my hiccups. Yeah. Didn't work. FML

#21246592
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32770) - you deserved it (2726)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

#21241441
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42652) - you deserved it (5460)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Mia (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML

#21239690
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37637) - you deserved it (6324)

On 08/17/2014 at 11:19am - misc - by Etrius (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to awkwardly grab my pink dildo after my husband's friend asked what it was that my dog was chewing on. FML

Today, my boss had a lengthy and obnoxiously egocentric conversation with a colleague. After she left across the office, I stood up, looked over at my colleague, and made a sarcastic "shooting myself in the head" gesture. I saw my boss staring at me over a cubicle wall as I turned around. FML

#21236078
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26711) - you deserved it (19405)

On 08/12/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by bademployee (man) - United States (Oregon)



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