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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, my idiot boss placed an expensive order for anti-bullying banners that read: 'Take a stand against bullying!' This would be fine if I didn't work in a specialized school for children in wheelchairs. FML

#21436683
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6995) - you deserved it (530)

On 07/05/2015 at 5:29am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, one of my friends asked me to flirt with her boyfriend to see if he would flirt back. Knowing this was a trust test, I agreed. She got pissed at me when he flirted back and still isn't speaking to me. FML

#21436223
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19061) - you deserved it (3430)

On 07/04/2015 at 4:55am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML

#21430513
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24313) - you deserved it (5236)

On 06/23/2015 at 2:37am - misc - by Arcanin3Boss (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I caught my mother-in-law trying to plant a GPS tracker on my car. FML

#21428876
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26596) - you deserved it (1774)

On 06/20/2015 at 1:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML

#21427425
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26028) - you deserved it (2055)

On 06/17/2015 at 3:42am - love - by canessadawn - United States (Oregon)

Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML

#21417834
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27607) - you deserved it (1806)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my roommate was making a waterproof iPhone case and decided to use my phone to test it out. It didn't work. FML

#21402720
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29734) - you deserved it (3429)

On 05/01/2015 at 1:30am - misc - by Crombinator - United States (Oregon)

Today, I filled out an online application for a internship. I didn't have all the info I need to complete it, but it wouldn't let me leave anything blank so to move along I filled in crap answers. I pressed "Save". It sent my draft in. I now have to explain that "Jesus" isn't actually my reference. FML

#21392735
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16340) - you deserved it (21594)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:20am - work - by unprofessional - United States (Oregon)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML

#21378617
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31128) - you deserved it (4474)

On 03/20/2015 at 9:32pm - love - by tumbleshay - United States (Oregon)

Today, I applied for a job at a local store. As I walked out the door, I heard the manager read it out loud and everybody else laugh. FML

#21370930
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28220) - you deserved it (2307)

On 03/09/2015 at 1:44am - work - by probably not getting the job - United States (Oregon)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18780) - you deserved it (55558)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend confessed to cheating on me. Unfortunately, she's a pathological liar and I can't be sure if it's really true, along with half the stuff she tells me on a daily basis. Love is hard. FML

#21356609
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29649) - you deserved it (9910)

On 02/15/2015 at 11:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

#21349904
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39626) - you deserved it (5040)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by MIB thingy please... (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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