Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, I knocked an old-school slide carousel off my desk, scattering nearly 100 individual slides everywhere, including the specific slides my professor asked me to digitally scan, which were placed carefully on top. None of them are numbered. FML

#21302910
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23728) - you deserved it (4861)

On 11/20/2014 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

#21294499
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30286) - you deserved it (4082)

On 11/08/2014 at 2:36am - love - by sickyandiknowit - United States (Oregon)

Today, my brother got upset at his video game and flung his DS at the wall, just as I was walking by. I got knocked out to the sound of someone crossing the finish line in MarioKart. FML

#21285323
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31531) - you deserved it (2513)

On 10/25/2014 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried a soup sample at a supermarket. An employee then came over and started asking me questions about how I got the cup for the sample, telling me it wasn't store policy to just give out sample cups. I was so stressed that I broke down crying in the middle of the supermarket. FML

Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML

#21271247
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39393) - you deserved it (2494)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:48pm - health - by Eww - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

#21268339
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43575) - you deserved it (3977)

On 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I flew across country to college. My luggage did not. FML

#21262400
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35136) - you deserved it (2818)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:51am - misc - by Need Clothes Now (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

#21256116
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43748) - you deserved it (16322)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:33am - misc - by lolwut - United States (Oregon)

Today, my cat decided to use my bowl of rice krispies as his litter box. FML

Today, I saw someone purposely drive into someone's garbage can with their car. Trying to be nice, I stopped and started to pick it up. As I did, the owner came out of his house and chased me away with a knife. FML

#21250496
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36727) - you deserved it (3479)

On 09/02/2014 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw a customer wandering around, looking confused. I went over and kindly asked if I could help him find anything. He said no, but that he'd help me find the teeth he'd knock out of my mouth if I didn't get lost. FML

#21248418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34365) - you deserved it (2741)

On 08/30/2014 at 11:14am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my brother thought jumping out and punching me in the stomach would cure my hiccups. Yeah. Didn't work. FML

#21246592
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32807) - you deserved it (2734)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

#21241441
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43098) - you deserved it (5475)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Mia (woman) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: