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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, my parents decided to finally kick me out of the house because they've gotten tired of seeing me "sleep around all day and being so lazy" whenever I'm home. I'm currently triple-shifting for 6 days a week. FML

#21317150
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (2333)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:50am - work - by wallamanut (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was having a nice conversation with my fiancé when he said out of nowhere, "I sold some of your panties". I thought he was joking so I said I hoped they weren't any of my favorites. He wasn't joking, though, and now some stranger from Craigslist owns my panties. FML

#21317090
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28310) - you deserved it (2528)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by konacoffee17 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

#21308095
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38225) - you deserved it (4662)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I knocked an old-school slide carousel off my desk, scattering nearly 100 individual slides everywhere, including the specific slides my professor asked me to digitally scan, which were placed carefully on top. None of them are numbered. FML

#21302910
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25153) - you deserved it (4969)

On 11/20/2014 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

#21294499
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30799) - you deserved it (4316)

On 11/08/2014 at 2:36am - love - by sickyandiknowit - United States (Oregon)

Today, my brother got upset at his video game and flung his DS at the wall, just as I was walking by. I got knocked out to the sound of someone crossing the finish line in MarioKart. FML

#21285323
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31558) - you deserved it (2515)

On 10/25/2014 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried a soup sample at a supermarket. An employee then came over and started asking me questions about how I got the cup for the sample, telling me it wasn't store policy to just give out sample cups. I was so stressed that I broke down crying in the middle of the supermarket. FML

Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML

#21271247
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39418) - you deserved it (2495)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:48pm - health - by Eww - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

#21268339
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43650) - you deserved it (3983)

On 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I flew across country to college. My luggage did not. FML

#21262400
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35142) - you deserved it (2818)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:51am - misc - by Need Clothes Now (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

#21256116
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43771) - you deserved it (16335)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:33am - misc - by lolwut - United States (Oregon)

Today, my cat decided to use my bowl of rice krispies as his litter box. FML

Today, I saw someone purposely drive into someone's garbage can with their car. Trying to be nice, I stopped and started to pick it up. As I did, the owner came out of his house and chased me away with a knife. FML

#21250496
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36741) - you deserved it (3480)

On 09/02/2014 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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