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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

#3778
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17506) - you deserved it (2454)

On 01/30/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

#3587
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19577) - you deserved it (6364)

On 01/30/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by Anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML

#3203
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5803) - you deserved it (30531)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:05pm - animals - by kittydead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML

#3102
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20819) - you deserved it (4420)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:51pm - love - by vidzgrl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

#2899
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31910) - you deserved it (9482)

On 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by ottawaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML

#2451
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19003) - you deserved it (1617)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by lizard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

#2423
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37682) - you deserved it (5116)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by asdfasdf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a "party" with the boy whom I am interested in. It was the first time I met his friends. Turns out he and all his friends are hardcore Christians who don't drink and are celibate. FML

#2383
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20207) - you deserved it (9600)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:03pm - love - by Durrrrrr - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was making a smoothie. I didn't plug in the blender until after all the ingredients were inside. I pushed the 'on' button. It was still on when I went to plug it in. With no lid. FML

#2132
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4408) - you deserved it (26807)

On 01/22/2009 at 2:02am - misc - by JBone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sprayed hair spray under my arms instead of anti-perspirant. I didn't realize it until I went to put my shirt on and couldn't raise my arms. FML

#2075
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16353) - you deserved it (9414)

On 01/21/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up with a hangover, but went to school anyway without showering, applying makeup, and still wearing my pajama bottoms. While taking the subway, I bumped into my ex-boyfriend who I hadn't seen a year. His new girlfriend looked at me and said, "You look... tired." FML

#1930
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9585) - you deserved it (18481)

On 01/20/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by babygurl69 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was jerking one off and my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes... that I now have to explain to my wife. FML

#1752
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32946) - you deserved it (9037)

On 01/19/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it didn't flush. FML

#1663
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17650) - you deserved it (2816)

On 01/18/2009 at 8:01pm - misc - by frankie - Canada (Ontario)



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