Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Ontario

2day cops showd up at my apartment demanding to look inside . Satisfid with the search , they told me they had receivd a noise complaint . More specifically , hearing screams someone believd a grl was getting rapd . I had two friends over and we had been wrestling . The three of us are male . FML

#966967
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70898) - you deserved it (25428)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Obee (man) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY , HALF ASLEEP , I DROPPED PILL BEFORE I COULD TAKE IT. I QUICKLY PICKED IT UP AND WASHED IT DOWN. FIVE HOURS LATER , I JUST FOUND PILL ON THE GROUND. WHAT DID I SWALLOW? REAL FML

#948871
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99401) - you deserved it (23190)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

TADAY I SPENT 3 HOURS TRYING TO CLOSE A SIMPLE $400 DEAL WITH A HOMEOWNER!! HE SPENT 3 HOURS TELLING ME ABOUT HIS LIFE STORY INCLUDING HIS MARITAL PROBLEMS, HIS PHILOSOPHICAL VIEWS OF THE WORLD, AND HE READ ME 20 PAGES OF HAIKU POEMS!! ONLY 3 HOURS LATER DID HE TELL ME HE COULDN'T ACCEPT MAH DEAL!! FML

#911885
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51729) - you deserved it (5699)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:42am - money - by canabana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

yesterday I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, mah $80 dollar pants rippd. FML

#910687
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31908) - you deserved it (59763)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by ripped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Yesterday, while teaching swimming to a bunch of five year olds, one particularly bratty grl decided she didn't want to swim and lead the entre class to strike, leaving the pool empty and me without a job. Apparently I was teaching the next world tyrant to swim. FML

#883933
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49493) - you deserved it (4310)

On 04/09/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by luh8r (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to pick up my sister's wedding cake. It was a nice day, te sop was close, and te cake wasn't too big so I walkd. On my way back, I steppd aside looool for a kid on a bike, trippd over my soelaces, and dumpd my sister's expensive, custom-designd cake. Te wedding is tomorrow. FML

#880602
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47437) - you deserved it (36931)

On 04/09/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by LonnyLonnikins (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at lunch I was running to mah group's table with mah friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on mah belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66688) - you deserved it (11225)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , my sister told my mother how she saw our neighbour's son at the movies with a girl an that they were kissing. My mother said that any girl willing to date someone so ugly must have self esteem issues an they laughed. I'm his girlfriend , my sister didn't recognize me. FML

#877669
112 comments

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on mah nut sack. looool So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of mah pubic hars had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

#869023
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16823) - you deserved it (92703)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:48am - work - by StevieMe (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to dinner wit ma boyfriend. After we ordered, I started to unzip is fly really slowly. As I put ma and in is boxers, e stands up to greet is mom and dado were joining us for dinner. big fat FML

#868136
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18433) - you deserved it (100840)

On 04/08/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by cdoyle - Canada (Ontario)

Taday my theatre teacher made me go on stage even though I had a violent stomach flu. My understudie were unreachable, and she threatened to fail me if I did not perform. Halfway through the first act, I vomited on the first row. She failed me 4 letting the cast down. FML

#828754
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (120632) - you deserved it (5516)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:39am - health - by juliet (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a club with a couple of friends . I met a really cute guy an we were getting along pretty well . We eventually exchanged numbers . Later on I decided to call him an set up a date . looool The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number . mega FML

#818669
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64494) - you deserved it (8655)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by jonas_93 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , when my boyfriend refferd to my hair , I told him I was going to dye it. He respondd by saying , "finally , so how much you going for , 40 , maybe 50 pounds?". I said dye it , not diet.

#810319
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57837) - you deserved it (8567)

On 04/05/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by lifestinks - Canada (Ontario)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: