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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for someone else. An hour earlier I had just gotten permission from her dad to propose. FML

#239413
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (140619) - you deserved it (6319)

On 03/08/2009 at 12:33am - love - by Brad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having a one night stand with a guy. he told me he wanted to do it doggie style. I said okay, and as soon as i bent over on the bed, looked at me and said "let's do this with the lights off". FML

#232006
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45585) - you deserved it (11693)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by fjafja - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I flew home early from a two month trip to Europe to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. When I got to his house with a home baked cake from scratch and a quilt with slik-screened pictures from my trip, his roommate answered the door and said "Oh sorry, he's out with his girlfriend." FML

#227121
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61665) - you deserved it (3362)

On 03/06/2009 at 4:07pm - love - by Muscle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML

#216994
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52133) - you deserved it (3018)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by nuberific (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied: "that's okay, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML

#214447
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50519) - you deserved it (130131)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I visited my ex-girlfriend's house. I saw her mother and asked "Hi! Have you recovered from that nasty cold that you had for so long?" She said "I don't have a cold," to which I smiled and said "That's great to hear!" Turns out she had lung-cancer instead. FML

#191131
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39470) - you deserved it (14336)

On 03/02/2009 at 11:09pm - health - by AbsentMindedBoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my braces on. When we got in the car my dad looked over and said "well at least we dont have to worry about boys for the next two years." FML

#171168
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58273) - you deserved it (4114)

On 03/01/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by jajaja (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML

#158758
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20470) - you deserved it (37568)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by RosaP (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML

#158702
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46996) - you deserved it (8378)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:30am - work - by eggs (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on the best date I've been on in years. Later on, over drinks we get talking and I explain how I came out to my friends and family. When I ask him how he came out, he replies that he isn't gay, and oh, did I think this was a date? FML

#141984
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55777) - you deserved it (11330)

On 02/26/2009 at 9:56am - love - by thetheatreguy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked downstairs in a new outfit, after dieting for 3 months, and losing just over 20 pounds. My mom took one look at me and said "You'd better keep going." FML

#134892
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44611) - you deserved it (3075)

On 02/25/2009 at 5:06pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML

#123831
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48713) - you deserved it (5473)

On 02/24/2009 at 3:34pm - health - by Sick (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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