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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, my boyfriend gave me a card for my birthday and told me to open it 10 minutes after he'd gone; I waited for 5. In the card was written, "It's not working out, but here's $20." FML

#48184
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59925) - you deserved it (3286)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by blah (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing musical chairs at a family reunion. It's a well known fact that I'm competitive and tend to hip check people to get that last chair. It came down to me and The Nana. I won. The Nana has a broken hip. FML

#46151
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7366) - you deserved it (64255)

On 02/15/2009 at 10:29am - misc - by nana. (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of one month and I had an amazing night of dinner and dancing, but when I leaned in to kiss her, she said, "You're joking right?" FML

#41639
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39141) - you deserved it (3519)

On 02/14/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by semi-depressed (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML

#26407
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17121) - you deserved it (22424)

On 02/11/2009 at 5:05pm - animals - by qwertyasdfghzxcv - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

#24664
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34118) - you deserved it (7474)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by Chicketi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my mom I loved her a lot. Her reply? "Thanks." FML

#14836
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24803) - you deserved it (3655)

On 02/08/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by KaLa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, two girls invited me up to their room at 3 am. As soon as we pressed the up button on the elevator, the fire alarm went off. FML

#6093
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58554) - you deserved it (4745)

On 02/03/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SoClose (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my girlfriend's password for okcupid is "i_love_mike". My name is not Mike. FML

#5894
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27848) - you deserved it (2713)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:49am - love - by 751920 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received an email invitation to a dating web site. It was from my father-in-law. FML

#5881
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39209) - you deserved it (2710)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:54am - intimacy - by Mavis (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I talked to my boss about the fact that I have been diagnosed as bipolar and I am having a really hard time with it. He told me to look on the bright side, now that I'm crazy I will never have to do Jury Duty. FML

#4725
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24067) - you deserved it (3422)

On 02/01/2009 at 1:08pm - health - by crazymuch - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

#4708
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35191) - you deserved it (7559)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

#4312
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23842) - you deserved it (2604)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by HumanNature - Canada (Ontario)



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