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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, my girlfriend of one month and I had an amazing night of dinner and dancing, but when I leaned in to kiss her, she said, "You're joking right?" FML

#41639
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33890) - you deserved it (2928)

On 02/14/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by semi-depressed (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML

#26407
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16338) - you deserved it (21477)

On 02/11/2009 at 5:05pm - animals - by qwertyasdfghzxcv - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

#24664
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28803) - you deserved it (6469)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by Chicketi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my mom I loved her a lot. Her reply? "Thanks." FML

#14836
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23285) - you deserved it (3483)

On 02/08/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by KaLa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, two girls invited me up to their room at 3 am. As soon as we pressed the up button on the elevator, the fire alarm went off. FML

#6093
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56536) - you deserved it (4549)

On 02/03/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SoClose (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my girlfriend's password for okcupid is "i_love_mike". My name is not Mike. FML

#5894
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23954) - you deserved it (2352)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:49am - love - by 751920 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received an email invitation to a dating web site. It was from my father-in-law. FML

#5881
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37955) - you deserved it (2616)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:54am - intimacy - by Mavis (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I talked to my boss about the fact that I have been diagnosed as bipolar and I am having a really hard time with it. He told me to look on the bright side, now that I'm crazy I will never have to do Jury Duty. FML

#4725
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19587) - you deserved it (2961)

On 02/01/2009 at 1:08pm - health - by crazymuch - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

#4708
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33492) - you deserved it (7241)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

#4312
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20492) - you deserved it (2310)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by HumanNature - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

#3778
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14281) - you deserved it (2179)

On 01/30/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

#3587
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18210) - you deserved it (6127)

On 01/30/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by Anon - Canada (Ontario)



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