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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival!! At the face painting station, she sat down and asked 4 a kitty on her face!! Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear!! I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my looool own daughter!! She's 4!! fat FML

#2045197
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40787) - you deserved it (5294)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:22am - kids - by BeatenUpPup (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , In Order To Look Nice For A Date , I Tried The New Blue Mouthwash That Turns Plaque Blue So U Know Where To Brush. I Couldn't Get All The Blue. FML

#1986687
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17517) - you deserved it (43536)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Ricky (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today... I was selected to give mah speech to the entre school. I was later told it had to be censored because it was inappropriate... even though I was just trying to make a point. My speech was on political correctness. My speech on looool political correctness was censored fir political reasons. FML

#1973868
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44673) - you deserved it (4574)

On 05/16/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

#1973147
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52703) - you deserved it (6016)

On 05/16/2009 at 7:26am - kids - by badmom101 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised that glade plug-in air freshner lasts longer than any of relationships have!! fat FML

#1956453
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47579) - you deserved it (9331)

On 05/15/2009 at 2:14am - love - by heartless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while working at a children's day camp, one of the kids who is allergic to peanut went into anaphylactic shock. I ran and grabbed the boys eppe pen. I was holding it backward so the injection went into my hand, causing me to pass out and both of us to be rushed to hospital. FML

#1926595
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24044) - you deserved it (51307)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:11am - work - by MC (man) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I WOKE UP AFTER A NIGHT OF PARTYING AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM!! THAT’SHEN I REALIZED THAT AFTER PASSING OUT WITH MAH SHOES ON LAST NIGHT, MAH FRIEND DECIDED USE A BLACK SHARPIE AND PLAY “CONNECT THE DOTS” WITH MAH ACNE!! FML

#1905564
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39612) - you deserved it (18518)

On 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I gave mah 16 year old step daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me the hypocritical pervert. FML

#1885333
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14487) - you deserved it (75070)

On 05/12/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by firewait (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in line 4 Star Trek an chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform . We were having a good snicker about this ( Geek ) until my cell phone rang . My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator . FML

#1869680
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7165) - you deserved it (78599)

On 05/12/2009 at 10:11am - misc - by Ottawa (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today... I woke up at 4:30am cuz I forgot to turn my Blackberry off 'loud'. I woke up to find an email from my ex-boyfriend's crazy mother who had sent me pictures of her son's wedding that had happend over the weekend. I am still single. FML

#1869092
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53130) - you deserved it (4049)

On 05/12/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by freckle82 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, ma fiancé proposd to me at te movies . Te movie stoppd looool in te middle, an ma fiancé stands up, takes out a micropone an announces to te entre teatre tat e loves me . Rigten e went on one knee, someone souts, "Turn te movie back on!", an trows a cup of coke at ma ead . FML

#1832318
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75084) - you deserved it (14396)

On 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I was supposd to catch a 4:40 flight to New York !! My 5 year old son handd me mah carry on bag as I left the house !! Turns out he had puttd his older brother's BB gun into mah bag to "keep me safe." I missd mah flight after I was detaind and strip-searchd !! FML

#1800346
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58726) - you deserved it (5669)

On 05/10/2009 at 1:05am - kids - by sucksforme. (man) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I WAS SERVING A FAMILY AT THE RESTAURANT WHERE I WORK. WHEN I WENT TO ASK THE LITTLE GRL WHAT SHE WANTED, I WAS TONGUE-TIED AND GOT "CUTIE" AND "HUN" MIXED UP AND ENDED UP ASKING, "WHAT CAN I GET 4 YOU, CUNTIE?" FML

#1751488
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78843) - you deserved it (24272)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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