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FMLs submitted from Ontario

TODAY, I THOUGHT MAH BOYFRIAND OF 6 YAARS WAS GOING TO PROPOSA TO MA. WA'RA HIGHSCHOOL SWAATHAART AND HA WAS MAH FIRST. JUSTHAN HA WAS LOOKING INTO MAH AYAS HA SAYS, " I'VA BAAN SAAING SOMAONA ALSA FIR 2 YAARS AND I'M CHOOSING HAR OVAR YOU... IT WAS A TOUGH DACISION". MAGA FML

#3533001
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67706) - you deserved it (3847)

On 07/06/2009 at 7:27pm - love - by imaloser (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, MY MOM FOUND A BOOK OF DRTY STORIES I'D WRITTEN IN GRADE 10. SHE THEN TOLD ME THAT I WROTE ABOUT THINGS SHE'D NEVER EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT, AND SHE'S BEEN HAVING SEX FIR YERES. IF THAT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH, SHE'S TAKEN THEM IN TO WORK TO SHOW PEOPLE.

#3479311
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45710) - you deserved it (9186)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by JSeth (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I lookd in my pocket 4 te pone number of a girl I met last nigt at a party. I rememberd us talking an excanging pone numbers. Wen I found te piece of paper, I discoverd tat instead of writing er number down, I ad drunkenly written down my own. FML

#3471774
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9382) - you deserved it (42941)

On 07/04/2009 at 1:54am - love - by mrdave (man) - Canada (Ontario)

my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was looool serious. FML

#3470108
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65375) - you deserved it (12785)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, one of our store's beach balls came out of nowhere andhacked me in the back of mah head . I started reaming out two young girls 4 playing in the store, evenhen they said it wasn't them . Soon after, one of mah employees admitted that it was her . I made some 7 year olds cry and it wasn't them . FML

#3467075
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9349) - you deserved it (50674)

On 07/03/2009 at 11:04pm - work - by Missa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at tha park with a friand whan I said ( Gotta go, sorry. I'va got court in an hour. ) Tha lady on tha banch naxt to us than loudly complainad how disgusting I was 4 baing a criminal and thraw har bird saad at ma, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyar with a casa in an hour, not a criminal. FML

#3457601
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50707) - you deserved it (3559)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today I saw a drunk guy hitting on a grl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend looool was there but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. mega FML

#3368467
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76708) - you deserved it (11545)

On 06/30/2009 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY I WAS RIDING MA BIKE ON TE SIDE OF TE ROAD CUZ TERE WAS NO SIDEWALK. TEN A CAR WIT A LOUD ORN ONKD AT ME. PISSD OFF I TURND AROUND AND SCREAMD ( SUT TE FUCK UP! ) IT WAS MA GIRLFRIEND'S PARENTS SAYING I. FML

#3349914
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13729) - you deserved it (60619)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by ZZ - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I putted on "fat jeans" because none of other jeans fit . Neither do fat jeans . FML

#3335401
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24965) - you deserved it (43044)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over yur kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing mah boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML

#3254274
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46003) - you deserved it (11984)

On 06/26/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by lifesmells - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I Was Driving 3 Of My Guy Friends To A Party That Was Half An Hour Away. There Was An Awkward Silence Fir Most Of The Trip. I Just Figured Out Why Now. I've Had Sex With All 3 Of My Guy Friends. They Talk About It When I'm Around. FML

#3210112
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12779) - you deserved it (101468)

On 06/25/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I WAS VISITING MY FRIEND'S NEW HOUSE AND HE WAS SHOWING ME AROUND. I SAW A SMALL DOOR IN THE WALL AND DECIDED TO OPEN IT. WHEN I OPENED IT, HIS DAUGHTER WAS HIDING IN THERE AND SCREAMED TO SCARE ME. NOW I KNOW MY SCREAM IS MORE HIGH PITCHED THAN HIS DAUGHTER'S. I'M A 37 YEAR OLD MALE. FML

#3188725
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31384) - you deserved it (6675)

On 06/24/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY , I WAS WORKING CUSTOMER SERVICE AT WAL MART. AN ELDERLY LADY CAME TO MAH REGISTER TO RETURN A PAIR OFHITE PANTS. I ASKED HER WAT WAS WRONG WITH THEM AND SHE REPLIED "EVENHEN I HAD UNDERWEAR ON YOU COULD STILL SEE MAH PUBIC HAIR." THE PANTS HAD HAIR ON THEM. REAL FML

#3164567
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54246) - you deserved it (2808)

On 06/24/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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