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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML

#20784225
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43049) - you deserved it (3665)

On 07/15/2013 at 1:25pm - misc - by helpme - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some guys were doing construction on my house, when one of them came over and started asking me about my "hot sister". That "sister" is my 13-year-old daughter. FML

#20781189
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46283) - you deserved it (3390)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my family. My dad's only reaction was to scoff, "Really? Stop breeding already." FML

#20780277
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40278) - you deserved it (13007)

On 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was doing a demonstration in front of my taekwondo class because I'm flexible. Really flexible. I kneed myself in the face and broke my nose. FML

#20779010
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37638) - you deserved it (8965)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:37am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a haircut, I walked to the cash register, handed the hairdresser a $20 bill and said, "Keep the change." He looked at me with a blank expression and replied, "The haircut costs 25 dollars." FML

#20773985
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27118) - you deserved it (42143)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:38am - misc - by RickTheBoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into poison ivy. He ran off saying, "That's for beating me in the race." I've never been in a race, nor have I ever met him. FML

#20770379
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44304) - you deserved it (3065)

On 07/08/2013 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48956) - you deserved it (8615)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a big job interview. Eventually, the guy subtly enquired about my political beliefs. He seemed pretty laid-back and cool, so I told him, at which point he just chuckled and told me to leave. When I threatened to report him, he just said, "Who're they gonna believe, you or me?" FML

#20769050
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38800) - you deserved it (7057)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by touche :/ (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

#20768398
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60820) - you deserved it (18980)

On 07/07/2013 at 8:35am - love - by SimG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter asked me to get her razors. When my 19-year-old son saw them he asked what they were for, to which my daughter replied, "For my armpits." My son then said, "Girls don't grow armpit hair." FML

#20764467
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40622) - you deserved it (5544)

On 07/05/2013 at 12:59am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my mom bet my dad $100 that she could pay my boyfriend ten bucks to break up with me. She is now $90 richer. FML

#20760905
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45671) - you deserved it (3002)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:26am - money - by Forever Alone (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML

#20759842
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42595) - you deserved it (4141)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:39pm - health - by good big sister? (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

#20749580
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24675) - you deserved it (44947)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by authorx - Canada (Ontario)



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