Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years admitted why his pet name for me is "his beautiful swan". Apparently, the first few years we were dating, he and his friends secretly referred to me as "the ugly duckling" because my sister was so much hotter. FML

#3611862
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53211) - you deserved it (3118)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was waiting in line for breakfast at the McDonalds drive-thru. After getting so fed up that the line hadn't budged for 10 mins, I decided to pull out of the line just to realize I was waiting behind 2 parked cars that were just to the left of the drive-thru lane. FML

#3607672
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8203) - you deserved it (53981)

On 07/09/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by StUbbY (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML

#3587785
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66251) - you deserved it (4944)

On 07/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought my boyfriend of 6 years was going to propose to me. We're highschool sweethearts and he was my first. Just when he was looking into my eyes he says, " I've been seeing someone else for 2 years and I'm choosing her over you... it was a tough decision". FML

#3533001
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65746) - you deserved it (3701)

On 07/06/2009 at 7:27pm - love - by imaloser (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in grade 10. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML

#3479311
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45533) - you deserved it (9171)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by JSeth (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML

#3471774
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8746) - you deserved it (41325)

On 07/04/2009 at 1:54am - love - by mrdave (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

#3470108
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63992) - you deserved it (12528)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, one of our store's beach balls came out of nowhere and whacked me in the back of my head. I started reaming out two young girls for playing in the store, even when they said it wasn't them. Soon after, one of my employees admitted that it was her. I made some 7 year olds cry and it wasn't them. FML

#3467075
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9284) - you deserved it (50498)

On 07/03/2009 at 11:04pm - work - by Missa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML

#3457601
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49095) - you deserved it (3438)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML

#3368467
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76470) - you deserved it (11500)

On 06/30/2009 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fuck up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML

#3349914
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12998) - you deserved it (60506)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by ZZ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I put on my "fat jeans" because none of my other jeans fit. Neither do my fat jeans. FML

#3335401
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24219) - you deserved it (42150)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML

#3254274
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44133) - you deserved it (11422)

On 06/26/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by lifesmells - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: