FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I was on a first date. When the bill came, he refused to pay for my $6 salad. I had to go ATM-hunting to pay for my $6 salad. FML

by wolfwolfy / 03/13/2010 at 2:18am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment, when I came across a lacy black thong in the laundry. When confronted, he swore it was his. I don't know what's worse, the possibility that another woman left it there, or the idea that my boyfriend owns and wears women's lingerie. FML

by botharebad / 03/13/2010 at 12:14am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I parked my car to go inside to grab my wallet than I'd forgotten. In the short time it took me to do that, someone broke two of my car's windows. FML

by lance / 03/12/2010 at 7:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I walk out of my apartment to find that my car is decorated with explicit drawings and "Happy 21st birthday" stuff written all over it. To top it off, my vehicle is completely wrapped in plastic wrap. I'm 22 and my birthday is in December. FML

by er1133 / 03/11/2010 at 7:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I dropped my physics class because I thought I bombed the 50% second midterm test. I got my results an hour after dropping online. I finished with an 83. I can't get back into the course. FML

by mizzleshizzle / 03/09/2010 at 1:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years left me because apparently I'm "too beautiful and he can no longer handle other guys always trying to flirt with me." FML

by dead / 03/08/2010 at 7:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, while playing poker, I lost a stack of money to somebody with the screen name "Poopface." FML

by prian / 03/08/2010 at 7:08am / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, I told my boyfriend I love him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML

by jonnah / 03/05/2010 at 8:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2010 at 7:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

by Sorry / 03/03/2010 at 11:22am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that my sister coloured in the pages of my college text books with Sharpie as revenge. FML

by Natalie / 03/02/2010 at 5:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the city bus, and there was a woman and her child sitting behind me. I began to feel tugging on my jacket so I leaned forward, assuming the child was pulling at my jacket. I sat back and felt the tugging again. After a couple of minutes, I heard the mother say "stop chewing on that!" FML

by nd.11 / 03/01/2010 at 11:59am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

by Joel_28 / 02/28/2010 at 7:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health