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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

#4331370
818 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26098) - you deserved it (501732)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was wearing my favorite tube top to the mall when a girl walked up and said, "I have that exact same skirt, why are you wearing it as a top?" I've been wearing it for two years, and no one's bothered to tell me. FML

#4290695
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15213) - you deserved it (47560)

On 08/04/2009 at 7:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was reading me a love poem he wrote for me. It was beautiful, and going really well until he read the last line, which had a girl's name in it. It wasn't my name. My boyfriend said "shit, wrong girl", and dug through his bag for a different poem. FML

#4277493
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58016) - you deserved it (4174)

On 08/04/2009 at 7:27am - love - by jemma (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I broke my mother's Tiffany lamp from the 1920's. Practically crying, I raced onto the computer to try to find one to order before she comes back in three weeks. The lamp is worth over twelve thousand dollars, and the only way I'm getting one is if I lived 90 years ago. FML

#4255235
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45020) - you deserved it (23630)

On 08/03/2009 at 1:24pm - money - by someexplanationrequired (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML

#4144889
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19055) - you deserved it (47001)

On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML

#4055189
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64215) - you deserved it (6153)

On 07/26/2009 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by helpfulmom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend said he couldn't come to my grandfather's funeral because he was at his cottage and couldn't make it. Later that day, when driving home from the graveyard I saw him walking down the street, with another girl. FML

#3995959
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51024) - you deserved it (2859)

On 07/24/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Lyingboyfriend (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I moved into university residence, looking forward to finally being able to come out of the closet. I started chatting with the hot guy moving in next door to me. He said I was cool, and he was glad because he was afraid he'd be living next to a gay guy. FML

#3984590
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49542) - you deserved it (9993)

On 07/23/2009 at 6:09pm - love - by simon (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home about two hours early from a friend's party. After I walked in and upstairs, I quickly and quietly left and went back to the party. I guess my parents decided to have a little party as well. It's called a threesome with my neighbor. They still don't know that I know. FML

#3932476
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61479) - you deserved it (3830)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by emkatch (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I set up a camera in my kitchen to see who was stealing my cookies. Turns out my mom had her boyfriend over. Good news, the cookies are safe. Bad news, I now have something recorded that I never wanted to see in my life. FML

#3926899
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41228) - you deserved it (12960)

On 07/21/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Pimp-Daddy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was testing out my new webcam on an msn Video Call with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. In an attempt to look cool, I pretended to have a very interesting phone conversation. Later I found out my webcam has a mic. She "heard" the whole thing. FML

#3911063
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5626) - you deserved it (62544)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:39pm - misc - by loser (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was supposed to hear back from a job I interviewed for. The guy called me and told me I got it. I said "Thank you, thank you, thank you!!" He responded with "You're welcome Emily". My name isn't Emily, it's Kim. He got the numbers mixed up. FML

#3910980
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42708) - you deserved it (2083)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:35pm - work - by KimberleyIrene (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend's dad chased me with a baseball bat because he found a pair of my boxers in her room. They were not there because I left them there, they were there because she stole them. FML

#3897377
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45107) - you deserved it (2722)

On 07/20/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by pyrosythan (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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