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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML

#121869
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16638) - you deserved it (43678)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:43am - misc - by shilpajayseanfan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was "sexing" my boyfriend a lot after I put him to bed. After lots of arguing, she banned me from seeing him and took my car away. Only much later did I realize my brother meant "texting". FML

#113033
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68578) - you deserved it (3862)

On 02/23/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by Megan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML

#112173
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47868) - you deserved it (2179)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by jeezy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked home from work when a woman asked me to come inside for a free meal. It was at a homeless shelter. FML

#80868
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29394) - you deserved it (4180)

On 02/19/2009 at 6:42pm - misc - by Kev (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was afraid our future children would be fat and ugly. He reassured me, saying that he was sure our spawn would take on after him. FML

#59488
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26858) - you deserved it (9282)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:30am - love - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a card for my birthday and told me to open it 10 minutes after he'd gone; I waited for 5. In the card was written, "It's not working out, but here's $20." FML

#48184
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53277) - you deserved it (2603)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by blah (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing musical chairs at a family reunion. It's a well known fact that I'm competitive and tend to hip check people to get that last chair. It came down to me and The Nana. I won. The Nana has a broken hip. FML

#46151
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5416) - you deserved it (52140)

On 02/15/2009 at 10:29am - misc - by nana. (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of one month and I had an amazing night of dinner and dancing, but when I leaned in to kiss her, she said, "You're joking right?" FML

#41639
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33223) - you deserved it (2892)

On 02/14/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by semi-depressed (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we wrote valentine's day poems in class. I wrote a very depressing poem about how I was rejected by all the girls I like and how it hurt to be alone. When it was read to the class, they laughed and told me it was hilarious. Even the teacher. FML

#39551
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32157) - you deserved it (10708)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Yudansha (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML

#26407
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13868) - you deserved it (18332)

On 02/11/2009 at 5:05pm - animals - by qwertyasdfghzxcv - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

#24664
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28188) - you deserved it (6414)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by Chicketi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my mom I loved her a lot. Her reply? "Thanks." FML

#14836
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19444) - you deserved it (2860)

On 02/08/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by KaLa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, two girls invited me up to their room at 3 am. As soon as we pressed the up button on the elevator, the fire alarm went off. FML

#6093
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51111) - you deserved it (3767)

On 02/03/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SoClose (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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