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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slip. FML

#7135383
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7199) - you deserved it (33210)

On 01/03/2010 at 10:50pm - health - by fml (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving home from an airport. On the way home, I got a flat tire. Once I was outside the car I realized that I had accidentally locked the car with the keys inside. I was in the middle of nowhere 20 miles from anywhere and couldn't call for help since my phone was in the car. FML

Today, I realized the odd smell I've been trying to get out of the house is coming from me. FML

#7072130
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8510) - you deserved it (31563)

On 01/01/2010 at 1:07am - misc - by _akwardsituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

#7070620
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25190) - you deserved it (4010)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by welted (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was looking through pictures on Facebook. There was a picture of me and my friends with the caption "I love you guys!" below. I had been cropped out. FML

#7056009
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31788) - you deserved it (2921)

On 12/31/2009 at 11:52am - misc - by MorganRox26 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy starts talking to me, then suddenly loses interest. Afterwards, I see the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML

#7047006
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9539) - you deserved it (20729)

On 12/31/2009 at 12:02am - misc - by lame (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

#7014697
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28734) - you deserved it (6595)

On 12/29/2009 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching 'Caillou'. It was a Christmas special for pre-schoolers. I was quite enjoying myself, when it hit me that my kid had been in bed for an hour. I forget what adult TV is. FML

#6979481
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25038) - you deserved it (6210)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:36pm - kids - by Jen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML

#6966482
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6243) - you deserved it (43202)

On 12/27/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by Unfortunate (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML

#6963425
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8885) - you deserved it (69188)

On 12/26/2009 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my ex got invited to our Christmas Party. I also found out that she got much more presents and money from my family than I did. FML

#6934422
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30681) - you deserved it (2827)

On 12/25/2009 at 3:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I invited my boss and his family over for dinner. As usual, I bought his kids Christmas' presents, nothing too fancy though. This year, he had one more that wasn't here last year. So I just pulled something from under the tree to hand him. He opened it on the spot. It was my son's PS3. FML

#6933197
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11210) - you deserved it (49876)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:30am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from my local hospital's emergency room, stating my wife was in labour. My wife and I split years ago, but just haven't divorced. She is telling everyone I am the baby's father, my current girlfriend is 7 months pregnant with my child. FML

#6863042
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26030) - you deserved it (9388)

On 12/21/2009 at 10:23am - intimacy - by johnG (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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