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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I had to give the girl I am absolutely in love with advice on how to have better sex with her boyfriend. FML

#4673075
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59845) - you deserved it (10363)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by shitforchris (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I brought my little sons into work with me. I introduced them to my boss. She said to my shy kids, "You boys don't know me, do you? I'm Janice." The older one lit up and said, "Oh, I know you, mommy complains about you all the time." FML

#4664067
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38771) - you deserved it (15213)

On 08/19/2009 at 8:01pm - work - by SweetFA (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was told I have bipolar disorder. I'm 31. It took so long to diagnose because my mom always figured I was "just a super bitch half the time." FML

#4654835
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42073) - you deserved it (4657)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:40pm - health - by crazychick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work while washing the dishes I was told to go put some things into the big freezer at the back of the store. While doing so, the door closed behind me, so naturally I pushed it, only to have my wet hands freeze to the door. I yelled to my manager for 10 minutes before help came. FML

#4650145
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38830) - you deserved it (5113)

On 08/19/2009 at 4:44am - work - by ohno. (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML

#4624191
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43524) - you deserved it (15577)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by peepeepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him "Well, who's gonna replace me?" His answer was "I don't know and don't care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away." FML

#4605529
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40257) - you deserved it (22774)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:16pm - work - by vmml97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran into a guy that I had gone on a few dates with 3 months ago and slept with him a few times, but then never heard from him again. When he looked at me, I went over and gave him a hug and said "Hey, how are you, Chris?". He hugged me back and said "Hey there cutie, what's your name?". FML

#4603777
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42139) - you deserved it (16444)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. We went inside the theatre and he saw a couple of his friends. Instead of saying hi and coming back to watch the movie with me, he ditched me for them. When I reminded him he was forgetting something, he grabbed the popcorn out of my hands and left. FML

#4603530
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52557) - you deserved it (5474)

On 08/17/2009 at 3:49pm - love - by ditched (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went through my 15 year old daughter's internet history. On google she searched 'Excuses to get away from your dad' and 5 other variations of the same thing. We were supposed to be having a father daughter day tomorrow. FML

#4576081
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47745) - you deserved it (15634)

On 08/16/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by alealovespurple - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm having my housewarming party and had prepared food, drink and games for all the 19 confirmed guests on Facebook. I waited till 11 but nobody showed up. I checked Facebook again and realized I had accidentally put tomorrow as the party date. I have to work the whole day tomorrow. FML

#4562871
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10888) - you deserved it (46518)

On 08/16/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by revalc (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to be safe and tested a small dime-sized amount of Nair on my inner arm before using it. I didn't react badly. But as soon as it was washed off from my down-there hair I sure as hell reacted, with small bumpy red dots that look like an STD. FML

#4540987
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33300) - you deserved it (12392)

On 08/15/2009 at 1:22am - health - by Dammit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

#4539697
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124622) - you deserved it (6501)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML

#4508324
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86251) - you deserved it (2886)

On 08/13/2009 at 7:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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