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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I woke up with a ridiculous hangover and no memory of last night. I called my friend who told me that I was so trashed I ended up eating all the hamburgers and chicken fingers in her fridge. I've been a vegetarian for 15 years. FML

#6355717
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12494) - you deserved it (48111)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by squishy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy requiring pet owners to carry dogs in common areas because someone's dog is peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML

#6351761
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30183) - you deserved it (3655)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:50am - animals - by Slivered - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister was playing a rock star in a play. When she got home, she told me she used one of my old guitars, because I told her it was ok. I said she could take one to practice on, not destroy on stage. FML

#6326232
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28469) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, feeling like I needed to relax, I ordered room service at my hotel. When I was finished I went to put the tray outside not thinking about needing a key to get back in. I locked myself out of my room wearing happy face underwear in a $250 a night hotel. I had to go to the lobby to get a new key. FML

#6321079
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8646) - you deserved it (23670)

On 11/16/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after dating for almost five years, my boyfriend stated that I have a "perfect and amazing personality" but that my looks are not what he "envisioned himself spending the rest of his life with." In other words, I'm ugly. FML

#6310965
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35212) - you deserved it (3560)

On 11/15/2009 at 9:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML

#6291314
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29378) - you deserved it (5380)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:09pm - kids - by DeeElleGee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML

#6255110
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36109) - you deserved it (3632)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:21am - love - by Starchyld (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my friends I had been hiding something that I wanted to come clean on. My one friend responds by saying, "FINALLY you come out of the closet. It's about time." I'm not gay. I was just going to tell them my parents were getting a divorce. FML

#6241973
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27331) - you deserved it (4048)

On 11/10/2009 at 11:25am - misc - by ClosetMishap (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in his bed watching football when it went to commercial. He started kissing my neck and trying to get me turned on. Then I remembered we'd be going to visit his mom soon, where we'd be playing Wii. That thought turned me on more than my boyfriend did. FML

#6239894
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8342) - you deserved it (19707)

On 11/10/2009 at 4:09am - intimacy - by vanessa_d15 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I attended a focus group. Since I've been unemployed for a month now I thought the $60 would come in handy. By the time I finished someone had broken into my car, stole my GPS and MP3 player. FML

#6236488
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23590) - you deserved it (2856)

On 11/09/2009 at 10:16pm - money - by unlucky (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML

#6226609
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14930) - you deserved it (35508)

On 11/09/2009 at 10:18am - animals - by Kirta (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML

#6224198
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37346) - you deserved it (6034)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:55am - health - by vanessa_d15 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was waking up, I let out a huge morning fart. When I open my eyes, I realized that I was crashing at a friends place with four other people. Yep, they all heard. FML

#6191720
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11188) - you deserved it (30172)

On 11/07/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by munnyfish (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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