FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, at a restaurant, I was joking around trying to make my friend laugh by pretending to be a ninja. I did this by putting my napkin in front of my face. I happened to look over at another table and saw that a lady wearing a burqa was giving me the most evil glare I have ever seen in my life. FML

by CrushAdrenaline / 08/27/2010 at 5:46am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong girl yelled, "Yes!" FML

by Ido / 08/26/2010 at 4:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML

by perfectlybrokenx / 08/24/2010 at 12:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

by clitorasaurus / 08/21/2010 at 2:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML

by carwife / 08/21/2010 at 12:13am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my dad decided to take me to play golf to relieve the stress of recovering from a bad concussion. While teaching me to swing, he hit me in the head. FML

by meowcat101 / 08/21/2010 at 12:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I ran into my boyfriend at the mall, the same boyfriend that told me he was taking a family vacation to Mexico. FML

by tina / 08/17/2010 at 8:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I found out I won't be able to go to college. Why? My sister's horse needs surgery. FML

by goodbye-college / 08/15/2010 at 12:12am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

by incestastic / 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I told my parents that I wasn't feeling very social and up for company. How do they try to make me feel better? By inviting a whole bunch of people I don't know to a pool party at my house. They said I should face my fears. I'm now in my room, hiding. FML

by antisocial / 08/12/2010 at 4:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

by verno02 / 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I called my boyfriend just to hear his voice since I haven't seen him in a while. His mom picked up and said "Chris isn't here right now, he's with his girlfriend. Do you want to leave him a message." We've been dating for 4 and a half months now. FML

by llmd / 08/10/2010 at 12:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML

by Forgotten / 08/09/2010 at 10:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Love