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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML

#3630061
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18308) - you deserved it (43727)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss requested that I re-organize every file in the office, because she wanted the filing cabinets alphabetized right to left, not left to right. To thank me, she came into my office to give me one uncooked ear of corn. I think my boss has mistaken me for some kind of farm animal. FML

#3613617
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43762) - you deserved it (3069)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:17pm - work - by ST3PH (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I opened my lunch in front of my friends at university. I had a note in my lunch from my mother that said "Have a good day sweetie! - Love mom". I wrote that note, and put it in my lunch to impress my friends. FML

#3613021
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17677) - you deserved it (58503)

On 07/09/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by sadlife (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years admitted why his pet name for me is "his beautiful swan". Apparently, the first few years we were dating, he and his friends secretly referred to me as "the ugly duckling" because my sister was so much hotter. FML

#3611862
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49603) - you deserved it (2833)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was waiting in line for breakfast at the McDonalds drive-thru. After getting so fed up that the line hadn't budged for 10 mins, I decided to pull out of the line just to realize I was waiting behind 2 parked cars that were just to the left of the drive-thru lane. FML

#3607672
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6454) - you deserved it (48723)

On 07/09/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by StUbbY (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML

#3587785
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63848) - you deserved it (4737)

On 07/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought my boyfriend of 6 years was going to propose to me. We're highschool sweethearts and he was my first. Just when he was looking into my eyes he says, " I've been seeing someone else for 2 years and I'm choosing her over you... it was a tough decision". FML

#3533001
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62408) - you deserved it (3477)

On 07/06/2009 at 7:27pm - love - by imaloser (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in grade 10. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML

#3479311
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43504) - you deserved it (8852)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by JSeth (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML

#3471774
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7517) - you deserved it (37741)

On 07/04/2009 at 1:54am - love - by mrdave (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

#3470108
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61045) - you deserved it (11745)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, one of our store's beach balls came out of nowhere and whacked me in the back of my head. I started reaming out two young girls for playing in the store, even when they said it wasn't them. Soon after, one of my employees admitted that it was her. I made some 7 year olds cry and it wasn't them. FML

#3467075
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8435) - you deserved it (48128)

On 07/03/2009 at 11:04pm - work - by Missa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML

#3457601
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46096) - you deserved it (3208)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML

#3368467
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73730) - you deserved it (10879)

On 06/30/2009 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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