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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years confessed that he was sleeping with me and 5 other girls while we first started dating. He told me he numbered us and rolled a die to see which one he would date. I guess I won. FML

#6775724
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36604) - you deserved it (3619)

On 12/16/2009 at 7:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found the only man who hates sex. He's my boyfriend. FML

#6773256
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27241) - you deserved it (4260)

On 12/16/2009 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Unsatisfied (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my parents, when all of a sudden my dad starts freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is, he was dead serious the whole time. FML

#6770677
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25058) - you deserved it (2249)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:34pm - misc - by allergyface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after taking my clothes out of the washer, I noticed at the very bottom of the washer my boyfriend's USB stick I found a couple of days ago. The USB stick contains his English essay, and his novel he has been working on for almost six months. FML

#6746306
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12762) - you deserved it (29992)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to find my parents singing happy birthday with lots of hugs and kisses. My birthday is next week. FML

#6733111
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29087) - you deserved it (2495)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:46am - misc - by Thomas (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to perform with my Orchestra at an event. I hadn't eaten at all because I had to get my blood sugar tested. During the middle of a song I passed out. No one helped me and no one stopped playing "because the song wasn't over and they didn't want to ruin the performance." FML

#6724178
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28907) - you deserved it (5838)

On 12/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my furnace and all of my heating systems broke down. A fridge is 3 degrees Celsius; it is now 2 degrees Celsius in my house. I would be warmer in my fridge. FML

#6721732
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33002) - you deserved it (2080)

On 12/12/2009 at 11:55am - health - by FrozenD - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up lying on the ground outside with a horrible headache. I camped out in my tree house last night. FML

#6710619
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26039) - you deserved it (9569)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by B-Man (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I pulled out three chips from a bag. There were two round ones, and a skinny one, making it look like a penis. I laughed. I'm 33. FML

#6686658
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8860) - you deserved it (30544)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by HarryBeast (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was eating a bag of almonds I got from the bulk food store, picking off what I thought was stringy remnants of their shells. When I finally got down to the bottom of the bag, I found a silk worm circling around the last almond left of a bag of about 200. FML

#6674609
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31063) - you deserved it (5523)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:25am - health - by somechick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went skating at the local rink. I had a really hard time balancing and was falling all over the place. After everyone had a good laugh, someone finally decided to tell me that one of my blade covers was still on, thanks. FML

#6655423
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9176) - you deserved it (25997)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by skating101 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend invited me for dinner to meet his parents. Turns out his stepmother is my gynecologist. FML

#6645484
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37519) - you deserved it (2592)

On 12/07/2009 at 2:00am - misc - by Twiddle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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