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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML

#5645915
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19407) - you deserved it (44734)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was at a business supply store, I decided to get my old paper birth certificate laminated so it wouldn't deteriorate further. The people working decided to wait until after it was done and I had paid to tell me that laminating a birth certificate voids it. FML

#5605552
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29908) - you deserved it (8012)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:32pm - misc - by nonexistant (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called my dad to ask why my university tuition had not been paid. He said that "my school was too expensive and he couldn't afford it." He then asked me if I would take in his mail while he was away. He was taking his new wife to Hawaii, apparently it's beautiful this time of year. FML

#5603956
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37125) - you deserved it (2913)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:18pm - misc - by ill (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML

#5582253
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9377) - you deserved it (32451)

On 10/01/2009 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch. I began to eat when I noticed a blond hair in my food. When that happened, I went up to the counter and began complaining about their hygiene. When the manager insisted no one that works there had long blond hair, I realized that it was my hair. FML

#5568676
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5085) - you deserved it (58382)

On 09/30/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend called me at work and offered to take me out to lunch. When he went to pay for the meal, his card was declined so I told him not to worry and that I would pay for the birthday meal. He looked at me and said "It's your birthday?" He was serious. FML

#5565703
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33298) - you deserved it (3064)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Rockyio (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I searched for free parking near my work for 30 minutes, trying to avoid paying $12 at a pay lot. I scored a spot, but 1 mile away from the office. I trekked through rain, cold, and got to work late. It was a long hard day, crawled back to my car, and had a $30 ticket on my windshield. FML

#5560693
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10105) - you deserved it (34952)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:34am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was chastised by the CEO in the middle of a management meeting for showing up late to work every day, despite being in my office before 9:00am every morning. It was my 5th day on the job and no one had bothered to tell me that the office opens at 8:00am, and not 9:00am. FML

#5542217
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15070) - you deserved it (35040)

On 09/29/2009 at 1:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was my wedding day and I had been preparing my speech for my husband for about 3 months. At the wedding, I poured my heart out to him. Did he do the same? My husband forgot about it and right before the wedding, took his from his first marriage and changed the name. FML

#5539052
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39107) - you deserved it (3647)

On 09/28/2009 at 10:53pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got an email from my University informing me that I was invited to an exclusive dinner for 25 people. As I continued to read through the email, I discovered that I wasn't lucky or special, but that the dinner was for financially unstable students. They think I'm a charity case. FML

#5497802
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28567) - you deserved it (3922)

On 09/27/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by bubblegummm13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML

#5494744
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7940) - you deserved it (59581)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by civicman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I wrote to the guy whom I am in love with how I feel about him. He was very calm and told me to give him some time to think it over. Later in the day, I found out he blocked my number and rejected me on facebook. But, the worse part is he then texted me saying "This is my reply". FML

#5490977
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31487) - you deserved it (4370)

On 09/26/2009 at 7:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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