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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I had to explain to my little sister that not all guitars are supposed to have a hole in them, that when I was talking about "breaking it in" I didn't mean I'd smash a hole in it, and that she shouldn't have taken a hammer to my expensive new guitar. FML

#21417642
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27859) - you deserved it (2680)

On 05/29/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML

#21417560
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30683) - you deserved it (4158)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:05am - love - by GlueAndCarrots - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the train going to work when my travel tea cup began spilling inside my purse, which was on my lap. It went all over my skirt, pooled at the bottom of my feet, and, yes, everyone notice that it happened to be piss-colored yellow. FML

#21417508
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26650) - you deserved it (4374)

On 05/29/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Great (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up in my living room after having a party. I then realized my fish tank with many different species was missing from its usual spot. After searching for a few minutes, I finally found it in the freezer. FML

#21415477
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28822) - you deserved it (8004)

On 05/25/2015 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposely poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

#21414073
88 comments

Today, I had the most excitement I have felt in the last two months when I went to a drugstore and they had my favourite bandaids. FML

#21410948
69 comments

Today, my overly-clean mum decided to drop by and surprise me by cleaning my house while I was out jogging. She used half a bottle of bleach, and now it hurts to blink, let alone breathe. FML

#21410694
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28596) - you deserved it (2723)

On 05/15/2015 at 8:51pm - misc - by pasha - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

#21406694
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32120) - you deserved it (3121)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:44am - misc - by brittrus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

#21403442
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31532) - you deserved it (3798)

On 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by gross - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety. My sister's insightful comment? "I think your problem is that you need to get laid." My mom agreed with her. FML

#21401985
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32730) - you deserved it (3981)

On 04/29/2015 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by sexandanxiety (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, less than a month from our wedding, my fiancé told me that he doesn't trust me and will be cancelling our wedding and new apartment lease if I don't give him all the names, numbers and addresses of my exes. All because I received a text from a wrong number that said, "Hey baby." FML

#21400981
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34130) - you deserved it (3827)

On 04/28/2015 at 1:32am - love - by Groomzilla? - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML

Today, I received a terrible grade for an essay I worked really hard on. I had two friends, one being an English major, check it over. However, apparently I "clearly didn't use spellcheck" on this essay just like the last one I submitted to her. FML

#21394988
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25426) - you deserved it (5424)

On 04/16/2015 at 11:34pm - work - by shaifox96 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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