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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML

#21317624
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34504) - you deserved it (2761)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm - misc - by AsianSensation (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML

#21317143
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35654) - you deserved it (4346)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after months of correcting him, I got so used to my boss calling me "Alex" that I didn't respond to my own name several times today. FML

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33601) - you deserved it (4293)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date with a girl who had to cut our date short so she could go on another one. FML

#21313753
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36435) - you deserved it (3697)

On 12/08/2014 at 12:58pm - love - by Anonomous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

#21310320
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29950) - you deserved it (5333)

On 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm - animals - by allykat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that catching fewer mice in the traps I'd put out doesn't mean my pest problem is getting resolved. It means that rats have moved in. FML

#21305734
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26903) - you deserved it (2427)

On 11/25/2014 at 10:28am - animals - by ratqueen - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the Salvation Army stationed one of their obnoxious bell-ringers in the mall right outside my store. My employees and I can wave goodbye to any form of sanity for the next month. FML

#21304339
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26212) - you deserved it (4450)

On 11/23/2014 at 5:03am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

#21303227
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31902) - you deserved it (3572)

On 11/21/2014 at 8:51am - misc - by UTRejected (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

#21302073
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38713) - you deserved it (3500)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my self-esteem hit rock bottom when I was intimidated by a 10-year-old. I'm 23. FML

#21301556
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28659) - you deserved it (6297)

On 11/18/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was the fourth time I've had major dental work done, because my dentist messed up my root canal. After almost a dozen needles, three missed work days, over $1,000, and 2 broken tools, I only have a tiny, barely-successful filling to show for it. FML

#21301373
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31531) - you deserved it (3055)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:45pm - health - by hatemydentist - Canada (Ontario)



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