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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, my boyfriend called me and told me he wanted me to stay the night. I decided to wear my sexiest outfit for him so I put on my kinky nurse outfit and drove over to his house. I let myself in his front door, to which I found 40 of my closest friends staring at me for my surprise birthday party. FML

#5762164
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33775) - you deserved it (19131)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by perfectmoment - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (164849) - you deserved it (8193)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. I was feeling good about the fact that I was going down a waist size until the cashier decided to discuss with me, three co-workers, and the ten other people in line how she didn't even know jeans came in sizes that big. FML

#5690935
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35555) - you deserved it (6186)

On 10/06/2009 at 9:11pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML

#5645915
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19391) - you deserved it (44716)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was at a business supply store, I decided to get my old paper birth certificate laminated so it wouldn't deteriorate further. The people working decided to wait until after it was done and I had paid to tell me that laminating a birth certificate voids it. FML

#5605552
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29876) - you deserved it (8010)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:32pm - misc - by nonexistant (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called my dad to ask why my university tuition had not been paid. He said that "my school was too expensive and he couldn't afford it." He then asked me if I would take in his mail while he was away. He was taking his new wife to Hawaii, apparently it's beautiful this time of year. FML

#5603956
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37097) - you deserved it (2912)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:18pm - misc - by ill (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML

#5582253
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9361) - you deserved it (32417)

On 10/01/2009 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch. I began to eat when I noticed a blond hair in my food. When that happened, I went up to the counter and began complaining about their hygiene. When the manager insisted no one that works there had long blond hair, I realized that it was my hair. FML

#5568676
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5031) - you deserved it (58170)

On 09/30/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend called me at work and offered to take me out to lunch. When he went to pay for the meal, his card was declined so I told him not to worry and that I would pay for the birthday meal. He looked at me and said "It's your birthday?" He was serious. FML

#5565703
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33265) - you deserved it (3062)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Rockyio (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I searched for free parking near my work for 30 minutes, trying to avoid paying $12 at a pay lot. I scored a spot, but 1 mile away from the office. I trekked through rain, cold, and got to work late. It was a long hard day, crawled back to my car, and had a $30 ticket on my windshield. FML

#5560693
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9951) - you deserved it (34598)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:34am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was chastised by the CEO in the middle of a management meeting for showing up late to work every day, despite being in my office before 9:00am every morning. It was my 5th day on the job and no one had bothered to tell me that the office opens at 8:00am, and not 9:00am. FML

#5542217
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15054) - you deserved it (35013)

On 09/29/2009 at 1:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was my wedding day and I had been preparing my speech for my husband for about 3 months. At the wedding, I poured my heart out to him. Did he do the same? My husband forgot about it and right before the wedding, took his from his first marriage and changed the name. FML

#5539052
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39075) - you deserved it (3645)

On 09/28/2009 at 10:53pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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