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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, while grooming my horse, a spider crawled onto my ear. As if that was bad enough, I'm extremely arachnophobic, so I shrieked out of habit, which in turn caused my horse to freak out and kick me. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML

#7483362
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10869) - you deserved it (106904)

On 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm - love - by heartbroken (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned the hard way why they say "four on the floor" at school. I leaned too far back while rocking in the chair and fell off. I grabbed the desk to save myself and it came down too. FML

#7475785
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6532) - you deserved it (31413)

On 01/21/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by jalapeno_popper (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was the only girl in my lab class. The instructor was learning our names. When he came to me, I went to say "mine will be easy" and it came out as "I'm easy." FML

#7471357
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13879) - you deserved it (28144)

On 01/21/2010 at 9:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, 'don't get naked in front of the TV.' FML

#7467691
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23748) - you deserved it (4063)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a piece of rice in my belly button. I can't remember the last time I ate or handled rice. FML

#7450166
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7455) - you deserved it (32247)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by kerry (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my doctor to get my x-ray results. Turns out, I have a fractured spine and a chip of my spine has moved. Now I'm in a neck brace because my dad didn't think it was serious, and told me to "suck it up princess." FML

#7346390
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31302) - you deserved it (2160)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:07pm - health - by RAHrahRAH (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I propositioned my boyfriend of two years to have sex with me in the shower to spice up our love life. He said that he was really busy. He was playing Call of Duty. FML

#7255890
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18795) - you deserved it (5295)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slip. FML

#7135383
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6454) - you deserved it (31282)

On 01/03/2010 at 10:50pm - health - by fml (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving home from an airport. On the way home, I got a flat tire. Once I was outside the car I realized that I had accidentally locked the car with the keys inside. I was in the middle of nowhere 20 miles from anywhere and couldn't call for help since my phone was in the car. FML

Today, I realized the odd smell I've been trying to get out of the house is coming from me. FML

#7072130
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7247) - you deserved it (28268)

On 01/01/2010 at 1:07am - misc - by _akwardsituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

#7070620
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22706) - you deserved it (3738)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by welted (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was looking through pictures on Facebook. There was a picture of me and my friends with the caption "I love you guys!" below. I had been cropped out. FML

#7056009
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29338) - you deserved it (2707)

On 12/31/2009 at 11:52am - misc - by MorganRox26 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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