Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I spent 65 dollars in cab fare and skipped half of my grade 12 classes, including a unit test, to see my girlfriend on our two year anniversary. I arrived just in time to see her kiss her other boyfriend of over a year good bye. FML

#6168775
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38196) - you deserved it (8062)

On 11/05/2009 at 3:42pm - love - by x (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working at Tim Hortons. A lady was in line, and she couldnt make up her mind. 20 minutes later she finally decided to get something, and she reached in her pocket. I was hoping it was a tip, but she gave me a coupon for a haircut. FML

#6125529
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (2578)

On 11/02/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by justin_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML

#6055815
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18616) - you deserved it (4704)

On 10/29/2009 at 2:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML

#6049453
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36860) - you deserved it (2711)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:09am - love - by clueless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML

#6030769
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18497) - you deserved it (3226)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by timmynotjimmy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed that I've been spelling my company's name wrong in my email signature for over a year. FML

#6027287
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6960) - you deserved it (38789)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:24pm - work - by nobodyreadsmyemails (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a man came up to me asking for my name. Thinking he was trying to hit on me, I rudely gave him a fake name. He thanked me and walked away. I continued to watch him leaving until I saw him ask another woman for her name and took out a wallet and showed it to her. It was my lost wallet. FML

#6019106
134 comments

Today, my boyfriend admitted to checking out other girls when he's with me. In his defense, "he doesn't look at their face or boobs. Just their ass." FML

#5989857
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16669) - you deserved it (5041)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:56am - intimacy - by pandroida (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML

#5984372
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15284) - you deserved it (25661)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Badday (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33776) - you deserved it (8855)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for my two month anniversary, my boyfriend surprised me with a "present". He then lifted his pant leg. He had carved my initials into his leg with a knife. FML

#5937926
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49568) - you deserved it (4736)

On 10/21/2009 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming "I meant it!" FML

#5902107
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31676) - you deserved it (7836)

On 10/19/2009 at 7:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking home from my acting gig at a haunted hayride. Even after spending lots of time washing the fake blood off my hands and face, I looked like I'd murdered someone. Perhaps that's why an officer stopped me and questioned me about a stabbing that happened earlier tonight. FML

#5891401
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33088) - you deserved it (3650)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:08am - work - by worldsbestjobgonebad (man) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: