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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I noticed that I've been spelling my company's name wrong in my email signature for over a year. FML

#6027287
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6950) - you deserved it (38735)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:24pm - work - by nobodyreadsmyemails (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a man came up to me asking for my name. Thinking he was trying to hit on me, I rudely gave him a fake name. He thanked me and walked away. I continued to watch him leaving until I saw him ask another woman for her name and took out a wallet and showed it to her. It was my lost wallet. FML

#6019106
134 comments

Today, my boyfriend admitted to checking out other girls when he's with me. In his defense, "he doesn't look at their face or boobs. Just their ass." FML

#5989857
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15779) - you deserved it (4902)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:56am - intimacy - by pandroida (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML

#5984372
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15256) - you deserved it (25616)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Badday (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33698) - you deserved it (8842)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for my two month anniversary, my boyfriend surprised me with a "present". He then lifted his pant leg. He had carved my initials into his leg with a knife. FML

#5937926
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49500) - you deserved it (4731)

On 10/21/2009 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming "I meant it!" FML

#5902107
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31629) - you deserved it (7826)

On 10/19/2009 at 7:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking home from my acting gig at a haunted hayride. Even after spending lots of time washing the fake blood off my hands and face, I looked like I'd murdered someone. Perhaps that's why an officer stopped me and questioned me about a stabbing that happened earlier tonight. FML

#5891401
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33031) - you deserved it (3648)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:08am - work - by worldsbestjobgonebad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a person came into McDonald's, where I work. They ordered a happy meal. As they were an adult, I assumed the meal was for their child, who wasn't with them. When I asked if the toy was for a boy or a girl, they said the toy was for them. I still had to ask if it was for a boy or a girl. FML

#5870216
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32142) - you deserved it (3510)

On 10/17/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by paris78 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that, because i'm a student, the employees I train make more than me. FML

#5840313
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27788) - you deserved it (1976)

On 10/15/2009 at 7:29am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, this guy and I went on a date to the movies. We got up to the desk and I asked for one ticket for 'Jennifer's Body.' The guy moved his way in front of me and said, "make that two tickets." He then walked away to look at movie posters and left me with the $22.50 charge. FML

#5835840
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29242) - you deserved it (5946)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:47pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I won 10,555 dollars on scratch cards! My sister got me to do a happy dance and filmed it. The video is on facebook and the tickets were fake. FML

#5793499
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31270) - you deserved it (7026)

On 10/12/2009 at 9:21am - money - by Dora (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son lost his pet rat, Charlie. Whilst vacuuming under my couch, the vacuum suddenly shut off. Something was stuck in it, so I took it apart. Something was inside, so I leaned in closer to get a better look. Bad news? I need a new vacuum. Good news? I found Charlie. FML

#5789871
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28039) - you deserved it (4007)

On 10/12/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by ohgosh (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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