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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, to my surprise my girlfriend said, "I've never felt this way before." We have been dating for six months, and I knew that I loved her, so I replied, "Me neither, I love you." There was a long awkward pause. Turns out, she was talking about her abnormally painful period cramps. FML

#7551805
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30911) - you deserved it (4186)

On 01/24/2010 at 7:50pm - love - by dan (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML

#7526935
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22976) - you deserved it (5174)

On 01/23/2010 at 7:15pm - health - by Queasy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML

#7518795
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34859) - you deserved it (5879)

On 01/23/2010 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while grooming my horse, a spider crawled onto my ear. As if that was bad enough, I'm extremely arachnophobic, so I shrieked out of habit, which in turn caused my horse to freak out and kick me. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML

#7483362
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9666) - you deserved it (100860)

On 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm - love - by heartbroken (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned the hard way why they say "four on the floor" at school. I leaned too far back while rocking in the chair and fell off. I grabbed the desk to save myself and it came down too. FML

#7475785
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6525) - you deserved it (31401)

On 01/21/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by jalapeno_popper (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was the only girl in my lab class. The instructor was learning our names. When he came to me, I went to say "mine will be easy" and it came out as "I'm easy." FML

#7471357
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13867) - you deserved it (28120)

On 01/21/2010 at 9:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, 'don't get naked in front of the TV.' FML

#7467691
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21366) - you deserved it (3753)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a piece of rice in my belly button. I can't remember the last time I ate or handled rice. FML

#7450166
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7444) - you deserved it (32218)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by kerry (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my doctor to get my x-ray results. Turns out, I have a fractured spine and a chip of my spine has moved. Now I'm in a neck brace because my dad didn't think it was serious, and told me to "suck it up princess." FML

#7346390
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28870) - you deserved it (1990)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:07pm - health - by RAHrahRAH (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I propositioned my boyfriend of two years to have sex with me in the shower to spice up our love life. He said that he was really busy. He was playing Call of Duty. FML

#7255890
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18780) - you deserved it (5293)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slip. FML

#7135383
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6449) - you deserved it (31261)

On 01/03/2010 at 10:50pm - health - by fml (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving home from an airport. On the way home, I got a flat tire. Once I was outside the car I realized that I had accidentally locked the car with the keys inside. I was in the middle of nowhere 20 miles from anywhere and couldn't call for help since my phone was in the car. FML



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