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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, after sitting for hours at my desk, my legs fell asleep. When I got up to go to the bathroom on my break, I couldn't walk properly and leaned against things so I wouldn't fall over. My supervisor then came over and started lecturing me about being drunk at work. FML

#11430477
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32298) - you deserved it (4334)

On 06/24/2010 at 4:02pm - work - by kbartlett86 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was unbearably hungry, so I went to Wendy's, bought myself a Baconator and took it outside to eat on the patio. One bite in, I went back to grab a few napkins. Within seconds of my departure, a seagull snatched it up. FML

#11240102
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13703) - you deserved it (39757)

On 06/16/2010 at 12:28pm - misc - by theorifice (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I lost my anal virginity because my boyfriend "slipped". FML

#11117532
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52743) - you deserved it (21313)

On 06/11/2010 at 12:56am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to get an ultrasound, which required me to drink 3 glasses of water beforehand. The doctor said I had too much and told me to go pee out just a little and come back. It took a lot of effort to hold the rest in. The first thing she did when I got back was press on my abdomen. I peed myself. FML

#11102000
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40361) - you deserved it (4128)

On 06/10/2010 at 12:07pm - health - by Aciliveth (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out the reason I can't get a job. My previous employer didn't know my name, so when places I applied to called there for a reference, my boss said he had no recollection of me working there. FML

#11010469
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28945) - you deserved it (3074)

On 06/06/2010 at 1:36pm - work - by duko3000 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my coworker told me she knew about my secret boyfriend because she has a "sixth sense" about these things. I'm too embarrassed to tell her I'm desperately single and the last date I went on was three years ago. FML

#10966986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27741) - you deserved it (3610)

On 06/04/2010 at 1:36pm - work - by single and not mingling - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as a bridal shower gift, I got a "coupon" for 25% off divorce attorney fees. It was a collective gift. FML

#10862777
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29698) - you deserved it (3615)

On 05/30/2010 at 12:29pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML

#10832589
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26797) - you deserved it (3123)

On 05/29/2010 at 12:04am - health - by phonesnshit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went into a music store to look into getting a new guitar. I picked up one that I was interested in and tried it out quietly. A sales representative approached me and asked me to "stop the noise and leave the guitars for serious customers." I've been playing for almost ten years. FML

#10777263
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34811) - you deserved it (5666)

On 05/26/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to visit my parents after 4 years of not seeing them. They moved without telling me. FML

#10733987
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32182) - you deserved it (18434)

On 05/24/2010 at 1:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend of 10 years told me she had slept with a man who had a girlfriend. I told her that it wasn't that bad. She then informed me that it was my boyfriend. FML

#10705100
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36374) - you deserved it (8839)

On 05/23/2010 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to find my power was out. After taking a shower in the dark and being unable to make myself lunch, my power came on two minutes before I had to leave for school. FML

#10669832
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26257) - you deserved it (3749)

On 05/21/2010 at 3:12pm - misc - by Samuel (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I shaved my legs and pits for the first time this summer. It took 3 disposable razors and an hour to get the job done. I've clearly been single for far too long. FML

#10645029
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13904) - you deserved it (42982)

On 05/20/2010 at 7:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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