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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I found that my "lesbian" best friend and roommate is now dating the guy I've been trying to get a date with for weeks. FML

#13829911
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31148) - you deserved it (3188)

On 11/13/2010 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML

#13825716
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45449) - you deserved it (4122)

On 11/13/2010 at 9:43am - work - by everythingWASperfect - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML

#13822314
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35919) - you deserved it (5926)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized the nicest thing my fiancé has said to me all month was that I have "very suckable titties." FML

#13806483
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29123) - you deserved it (5687)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

#13799884
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17835) - you deserved it (37126)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I played a volleyball game at my school. Not only did I miss the winning point, the ball hit my face in the process, which resulted in popping a big fat zit on my nose. FML

#13797230
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26795) - you deserved it (5016)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by iharethissomuxh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home and saw my roommate had taken out the garbage for the first time in the three years we have lived in the same house. Unfortunately, the bag of laundry I had by the door was taken out with it as well. FML

#13742923
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25521) - you deserved it (3919)

On 11/06/2010 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that a street performer makes more money than I do. I have a full time job at the bank. FML

#13740826
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28776) - you deserved it (3847)

On 11/06/2010 at 5:08pm - money - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML

#13688045
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27211) - you deserved it (3584)

On 11/02/2010 at 1:20pm - work - by speechless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I was caught picking my nose, on camera, in an elevator. The security guard stopped me on my way out of the building to tell me how funny it was. FML

#13644556
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9825) - you deserved it (29441)

On 10/30/2010 at 12:12am - work - by mortified (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad planted and "discovered" a pack of cigarettes in my backpack to distract my mom from his gambling problem. FML

#13638786
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42248) - you deserved it (2489)

On 10/29/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Ginna - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at an Aunt's wake, my five year old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

#13635730
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31183) - you deserved it (3356)

On 10/29/2010 at 4:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for once, I managed to get my boyfriend's mind off the hockey game. I muted the TV and cuddled up to him. Only thirty seconds into snuggling, he shoved me onto the floor and screamed, "GOAL!" FML

#13626232
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17744) - you deserved it (29262)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:29pm - love - by Fatality (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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