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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

#8726872
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14193) - you deserved it (17486)

On 02/28/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Joel_28 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23879) - you deserved it (2198)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

#8704782
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34445) - you deserved it (2428)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:30pm - love - by sacrophage (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spilled a glass of iced tea all over my desk. It trickled down the wall and fried an extension cord. FML

#8615940
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15879) - you deserved it (8358)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:43pm - misc - by dumbbass (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years left me for a guy whose favorite color is camouflage. FML

#8612745
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35070) - you deserved it (5019)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my ex-boyfriend stole a pair of my underwear, and still wears them to this day. FML

#8553099
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25282) - you deserved it (2511)

On 02/22/2010 at 1:11pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

#8406793
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16265) - you deserved it (4586)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by goldie09 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while serving a rather large party at the restaurant where I work, I mentioned that the soup of the day was "to die for". After the hosts gave me weird looks, it dawned on me that the reason they were wearing all black is because they've just come back from a funeral. FML

#8372297
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24010) - you deserved it (10511)

On 02/17/2010 at 11:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my hair dresser to get my haircut. When she asked me what I wanted, I told her "the usual". She confused me with another customer and gave me a mullet. FML

#8364767
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12547) - you deserved it (27920)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:30am - misc - by Craig (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was missing $20 from my wallet, so I decided to ask my sister if she had taken it. Her response? "That reminds me, I need to borrow another 50." She has a job. That was my Christmas money. FML

#8297602
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23025) - you deserved it (2319)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:02pm - money - by Ambar - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to sleep over at his house. Then he found out that it was that time of the month for me, so he told me that he had to work this weekend and said "see you sometime next week." He doesn't have a job. FML

#8162555
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26715) - you deserved it (4279)

On 02/12/2010 at 9:14am - love - by JustMyLuck (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided that it would be good exercise to shovel the ice on the backyard patio. Now I can't stand up. FML

#8074615
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15412) - you deserved it (6979)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by bender (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML

#8047035
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22355) - you deserved it (6591)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:26am - health - by mynameislor - Canada (Ontario)



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