Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML

#12786559
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26820) - you deserved it (3815)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:04pm - health - by Firepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a restaurant, I was joking around trying to make my friend laugh by pretending to be a ninja. I did this by putting my napkin in front of my face. I happened to look over at another table and saw that a lady wearing a burqa was giving me the most evil glare I have ever seen in my life. FML

#12768878
49 comments

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong girl yelled, "Yes!" FML

#12757529
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34537) - you deserved it (14507)

On 08/26/2010 at 4:06pm - love - by Ido (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML

#12712941
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14999) - you deserved it (48338)

On 08/24/2010 at 12:21am - love - by perfectlybrokenx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

#12657778
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19039) - you deserved it (30243)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML

#12655569
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28327) - you deserved it (6979)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by carwife - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad decided to take me to play golf to relieve the stress of recovering from a bad concussion. While teaching me to swing, he hit me in the head. FML

#12655415
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29168) - you deserved it (2933)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:05am - health - by meowcat101 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend at the mall, the same boyfriend that told me he was taking a family vacation to Mexico. FML

#12580097
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37195) - you deserved it (3800)

On 08/17/2010 at 8:30am - love - by tina - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out I won't be able to go to college. Why? My sister's horse needs surgery. FML

#12530276
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46476) - you deserved it (4773)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:12am - animals - by goodbye-college (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

#12524990
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39895) - you deserved it (2815)

On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my parents that I wasn't feeling very social and up for company. How do they try to make me feel better? By inviting a whole bunch of people I don't know to a pool party at my house. They said I should face my fears. I'm now in my room, hiding. FML

#12472098
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28788) - you deserved it (8755)

On 08/12/2010 at 4:07am - misc - by antisocial (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

#12438405
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30767) - you deserved it (8174)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by verno02 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called my boyfriend just to hear his voice since I haven't seen him in a while. His mom picked up and said "Chris isn't here right now, he's with his girlfriend. Do you want to leave him a message." We've been dating for 4 and a half months now. FML

#12423353
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34993) - you deserved it (3593)

On 08/10/2010 at 12:30am - love - by llmd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: