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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I found out I won't be able to go to college. Why? My sister's horse needs surgery. FML

#12530276
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46435) - you deserved it (4768)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:12am - animals - by goodbye-college (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

#12524990
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38562) - you deserved it (2703)

On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my parents that I wasn't feeling very social and up for company. How do they try to make me feel better? By inviting a whole bunch of people I don't know to a pool party at my house. They said I should face my fears. I'm now in my room, hiding. FML

#12472098
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28761) - you deserved it (8751)

On 08/12/2010 at 4:07am - misc - by antisocial (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

#12438405
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30716) - you deserved it (8173)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by verno02 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called my boyfriend just to hear his voice since I haven't seen him in a while. His mom picked up and said "Chris isn't here right now, he's with his girlfriend. Do you want to leave him a message." We've been dating for 4 and a half months now. FML

#12423353
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34940) - you deserved it (3587)

On 08/10/2010 at 12:30am - love - by llmd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML

#12409274
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38204) - you deserved it (26481)

On 08/09/2010 at 10:38am - love - by Forgotten (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML

#12405087
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39698) - you deserved it (4965)

On 08/09/2010 at 3:07am - intimacy - by hard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to call the number a cute guy had scribbled onto a napkin and given to me. I was greeted by, "Hello, this is Dr. Allen's office." Surprised, because I didn't remember his name being anything close to Allen, I asked who Dr. Allen was. She's a psychologist. FML

#12371102
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28412) - you deserved it (5146)

On 08/07/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by TRalalla (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, my wife then told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML

#12277666
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55580) - you deserved it (4205)

On 08/03/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by Cheated (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth out. My mom didn't get my prescription for painkillers because she thought I'd get addicted. FML

#12188597
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45953) - you deserved it (3375)

On 07/29/2010 at 3:10pm - health - by Richmond24 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a friend of mine came to my house with tears in her eyes. I thought she was finally single so I could ask her out. Actually, her mother found out she was dating a girl, so she wants me to be her fake boyfriend as a cover-up. At least we're "dating" now. FML

#12187825
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42189) - you deserved it (6085)

On 07/29/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

#12109391
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35242) - you deserved it (3240)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

#12095964
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8514) - you deserved it (37857)

On 07/25/2010 at 1:06am - health - by one_BAMF - Canada (Ontario)



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