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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I realized that the only time I've ever been noticed by my classmates is when I brought cake for the potluck. FML

#14133320
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23957) - you deserved it (3147)

On 12/08/2010 at 4:55pm - misc - by Invisible - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I built a snowman. When I'd finished, I went inside to get a scarf and carrot for the nose. As I came back outside, a snowplough ran it over, and the driver waved at me. FML

Today, a woman slipped on the ice in front of me. Instinctively, I caught her before she fell. Instead of thanking me, she whirled around and asked me if my *expletive* mother had taught me to grope women inappropriately. FML

#14070923
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31652) - you deserved it (2584)

On 12/03/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was stuck behind an elderly man on a one-way street into my university campus. There was no traffic in front of him and we were both going under the speed limit, so I honked my horn at him to speed up. He ended up double-parking in the last two spots. FML

#14069245
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23666) - you deserved it (12766)

On 12/03/2010 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I overheard my mother telling a friend she got me oven mitts for Christmas. I got her two cruise tickets. I hate to cook. Which she knows. FML

#14066862
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28687) - you deserved it (3022)

On 12/03/2010 at 12:18am - misc - by nokitchenforme - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

#14000546
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16490) - you deserved it (42079)

On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, seeing Ozzy Osbourne live for the first time, I was trying to get the perfect photo of the entire band on stage. That is, until a sudden burst of pyrotechnics startled me, and I gave myself a black eye from the camera hitting me in the face. FML

#13982086
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21967) - you deserved it (9182)

On 11/26/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend was fired from the place we both work at because she's a bad employee. After they fired her she said, "If I go, I'm taking my best friend with me." So they fired me too. I actually liked that job. FML

#13958382
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36263) - you deserved it (3949)

On 11/24/2010 at 3:45am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45178) - you deserved it (5810)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he fell asleep right between my legs. The worst part was I only noticed when he started snoring. FML

#13886809
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32894) - you deserved it (5716)

On 11/18/2010 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML

#13876675
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44480) - you deserved it (13143)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by neverdateaclosetcase (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a telemarketer found me so weird that he hung up on me. FML

#13861798
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25902) - you deserved it (8438)

On 11/16/2010 at 3:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found that my "lesbian" best friend and roommate is now dating the guy I've been trying to get a date with for weeks. FML

#13829911
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31148) - you deserved it (3188)

On 11/13/2010 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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