FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I woke up early to prepare for my graduation party. I'd invited the entire graduating class of 2011, and tons of people confirmed that they were going to come. Two hours after the time I'd told everyone to show up, I'm still the only one here. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2011 at 5:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was approached by a police officer who instructed me to move because I was "threatening the elderly". I was sitting on a park bench in front of an old folks home. FML

by random / 06/15/2011 at 10:23am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I was under a building overhang to avoid getting drenched by the rain while waiting for the bus. Apparently that corner is notorious for drug dealing, I found this out when a man angrily demanded his drugs and chased me half a block. FML

by DrugDeal / 06/08/2011 at 9:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML

by Bee / 06/07/2011 at 8:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

by Jakub89 / 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML

by Loveless / 06/05/2011 at 8:23am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

by hcflorence1 / 06/04/2011 at 1:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I found out that the school principal takes all the money from the school fund raisers to buy herself donuts. I'd donated over $100. FML

by Golden~ / 06/01/2011 at 5:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML

by chickennbenchpress / 05/31/2011 at 1:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, my girlfriend told me how she loves when I kiss her out of the blue. I don't have the heart to admit I only do it so I can get some peace and quiet for a few seconds. FML

by romantic84 / 05/31/2011 at 12:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while I was driving her to a surprise party where I was going to propose. FML

by efff my life. / 05/30/2011 at 10:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of something I said 2 years ago, as a joke. I guess she took a while to get it. FML

by Username / 05/29/2011 at 12:41am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I finally got the wedding dress I've been waiting months to see. It turns out that my mom ordered the dress 2 sizes smaller than my size, this way it will be "an incentive to lose weight". FML

by Angelica / 05/25/2011 at 11:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health