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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I invited my boss and his family over for dinner. As usual, I bought his kids Christmas' presents, nothing too fancy though. This year, he had one more that wasn't here last year. So I just pulled something from under the tree to hand him. He opened it on the spot. It was my son's PS3. FML

#6933197
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9641) - you deserved it (45115)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:30am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from my local hospital's emergency room, stating my wife was in labour. My wife and I split years ago, but just haven't divorced. She is telling everyone I am the baby's father, my current girlfriend is 7 months pregnant with my child. FML

#6863042
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21493) - you deserved it (8397)

On 12/21/2009 at 10:23am - intimacy - by johnG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39817) - you deserved it (3164)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to take a taxi to work, because I was pressed for time, and didn't have a ride there. When I got to work, I paid the cab driver, and realized I had spent more money on the cab than I was going to make at work. FML

#6839284
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24814) - you deserved it (4121)

On 12/20/2009 at 12:13am - money - by Fml37 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML

#6838088
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18254) - you deserved it (3456)

On 12/19/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by omglifee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years confessed that he was sleeping with me and 5 other girls while we first started dating. He told me he numbered us and rolled a die to see which one he would date. I guess I won. FML

#6775724
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33257) - you deserved it (3337)

On 12/16/2009 at 7:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found the only man who hates sex. He's my boyfriend. FML

#6773256
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23751) - you deserved it (3811)

On 12/16/2009 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Unsatisfied (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my parents, when all of a sudden my dad starts freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is, he was dead serious the whole time. FML

#6770677
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22182) - you deserved it (2004)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:34pm - misc - by allergyface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after taking my clothes out of the washer, I noticed at the very bottom of the washer my boyfriend's USB stick I found a couple of days ago. The USB stick contains his English essay, and his novel he has been working on for almost six months. FML

#6746306
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11019) - you deserved it (27461)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to find my parents singing happy birthday with lots of hugs and kisses. My birthday is next week. FML

#6733111
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26084) - you deserved it (2260)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:46am - misc - by Thomas (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to perform with my Orchestra at an event. I hadn't eaten at all because I had to get my blood sugar tested. During the middle of a song I passed out. No one helped me and no one stopped playing "because the song wasn't over and they didn't want to ruin the performance." FML

#6724178
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25919) - you deserved it (5453)

On 12/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my furnace and all of my heating systems broke down. A fridge is 3 degrees Celsius; it is now 2 degrees Celsius in my house. I would be warmer in my fridge. FML

#6721732
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29842) - you deserved it (1815)

On 12/12/2009 at 11:55am - health - by FrozenD - Canada (Ontario)



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