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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I was working at a restaurant. This guy comes up to the counter and asks if he could have some toothpicks. I told him they were right in front of him. He said "Sorry, I'm blind." Thinking it was a joke, I laughed until he said "No, seriously." FML

#12970630
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9752) - you deserved it (33902)

On 09/08/2010 at 11:35pm - work - by imaqtb (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a job interview. The moment I walked into the room, the interviewer said "Ok, I will interview you, but there is no way I'm hiring you." FML

#12952694
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29010) - you deserved it (3891)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:27pm - work - by Jobless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bleached my hair for the new school year. Instead of blonde, it came out orange, making my hair resemble a bloated pumpkin. FML

#12918754
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11018) - you deserved it (29978)

On 09/05/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by xXRowynXx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

#12837026
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38373) - you deserved it (7678)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:48am - love - by maebyf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12720) - you deserved it (26398)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML

#12786559
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24352) - you deserved it (3576)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:04pm - health - by Firepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a restaurant, I was joking around trying to make my friend laugh by pretending to be a ninja. I did this by putting my napkin in front of my face. I happened to look over at another table and saw that a lady wearing a burqa was giving me the most evil glare I have ever seen in my life. FML

#12768878
47 comments

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong girl yelled, "Yes!" FML

#12757529
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34504) - you deserved it (14494)

On 08/26/2010 at 4:06pm - love - by Ido (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML

#12712941
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14983) - you deserved it (48290)

On 08/24/2010 at 12:21am - love - by perfectlybrokenx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

#12657778
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19000) - you deserved it (30221)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML

#12655569
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28272) - you deserved it (6975)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by carwife - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad decided to take me to play golf to relieve the stress of recovering from a bad concussion. While teaching me to swing, he hit me in the head. FML

#12655415
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29119) - you deserved it (2932)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:05am - health - by meowcat101 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend at the mall, the same boyfriend that told me he was taking a family vacation to Mexico. FML

#12580097
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37140) - you deserved it (3799)

On 08/17/2010 at 8:30am - love - by tina - Canada (Ontario)



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