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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

#13799884
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17114) - you deserved it (35670)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I played a volleyball game at my school. Not only did I miss the winning point, the ball hit my face in the process, which resulted in popping a big fat zit on my nose. FML

#13797230
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25937) - you deserved it (4924)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by iharethissomuxh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home and saw my roommate had taken out the garbage for the first time in the three years we have lived in the same house. Unfortunately, the bag of laundry I had by the door was taken out with it as well. FML

#13742923
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24571) - you deserved it (3832)

On 11/06/2010 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that a street performer makes more money than I do. I have a full time job at the bank. FML

#13740826
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27252) - you deserved it (3683)

On 11/06/2010 at 5:08pm - money - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML

#13688045
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26266) - you deserved it (3510)

On 11/02/2010 at 1:20pm - work - by speechless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I was caught picking my nose, on camera, in an elevator. The security guard stopped me on my way out of the building to tell me how funny it was. FML

#13644556
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9519) - you deserved it (28708)

On 10/30/2010 at 12:12am - work - by mortified (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad planted and "discovered" a pack of cigarettes in my backpack to distract my mom from his gambling problem. FML

#13638786
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40428) - you deserved it (2375)

On 10/29/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Ginna - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at an Aunt's wake, my five year old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

#13635730
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30216) - you deserved it (3276)

On 10/29/2010 at 4:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for once, I managed to get my boyfriend's mind off the hockey game. I muted the TV and cuddled up to him. Only thirty seconds into snuggling, he shoved me onto the floor and screamed, "GOAL!" FML

#13626232
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17209) - you deserved it (28570)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:29pm - love - by Fatality (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after discussing the side-effects of an insomnia aid, my doctor said that making a choice was naturally a difficult one, and that he would only prescribe it to me once I'd had "a good, long sleep on it". He then laughed out loud and called in the next patient. FML

#13616932
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22542) - you deserved it (2544)

On 10/27/2010 at 5:58pm - misc - by royalscenery (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML

#13612697
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12176) - you deserved it (32110)

On 10/27/2010 at 7:47am - kids - by Lisaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, there is a rumor going around that I'm gay. Somewhat curious at how did this start, I asked a co-worker. He said I was seen 3 days ago at a mall holding hands with someone who looks like a guy from behind. Three days ago, I was at the mall with my girlfriend. FML

Today, while at work, I was asked to see my boss. I was informed that the company would be laying off 20 people, and that I was one of them. I was told I could finish off the week, then was sent back to work. Twenty minutes later, my boss walked around and handed us all Christmas party invitations. FML

#13598783
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22682) - you deserved it (2090)

On 10/26/2010 at 2:35am - work - by robthebuilder (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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