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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML

#10832589
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26625) - you deserved it (3116)

On 05/29/2010 at 12:04am - health - by phonesnshit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went into a music store to look into getting a new guitar. I picked up one that I was interested in and tried it out quietly. A sales representative approached me and asked me to "stop the noise and leave the guitars for serious customers." I've been playing for almost ten years. FML

#10777263
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32097) - you deserved it (5422)

On 05/26/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to visit my parents after 4 years of not seeing them. They moved without telling me. FML

#10733987
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31599) - you deserved it (18226)

On 05/24/2010 at 1:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend of 10 years told me she had slept with a man who had a girlfriend. I told her that it wasn't that bad. She then informed me that it was my boyfriend. FML

#10705100
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36163) - you deserved it (8799)

On 05/23/2010 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to find my power was out. After taking a shower in the dark and being unable to make myself lunch, my power came on two minutes before I had to leave for school. FML

#10669832
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24020) - you deserved it (3554)

On 05/21/2010 at 3:12pm - misc - by Samuel (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I shaved my legs and pits for the first time this summer. It took 3 disposable razors and an hour to get the job done. I've clearly been single for far too long. FML

#10645029
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13827) - you deserved it (42858)

On 05/20/2010 at 7:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML

#10624729
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31374) - you deserved it (4426)

On 05/19/2010 at 8:00am - love - by likesboys (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend on MSN. I screen-copied my desktop to show her the conversation I was having with my best friend. Minutes later she replied asking why I had a porn site opened on the other tab. Oops. FML

#9261656
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8366) - you deserved it (47109)

On 03/21/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by retard99 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a first date. When the bill came, he refused to pay for my $6 salad. I had to go ATM-hunting to pay for my $6 salad. FML

#9039407
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28567) - you deserved it (10664)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:18am - love - by wolfwolfy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment, when I came across a lacy black thong in the laundry. When confronted, he swore it was his. I don't know what's worse, the possibility that another woman left it there, or the idea that my boyfriend owns and wears women's lingerie. FML

#9037172
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26172) - you deserved it (2676)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:14am - love - by botharebad (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I parked my car to go inside to grab my wallet than I'd forgotten. In the short time it took me to do that, someone broke two of my car's windows. FML

#9018628
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19321) - you deserved it (2034)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:10am - misc - by lance - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walk out of my apartment to find that my car is decorated with explicit drawings and "Happy 21st birthday" stuff written all over it. To top it off, my vehicle is completely wrapped in plastic wrap. I'm 22 and my birthday is in December. FML

#8992744
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23533) - you deserved it (1828)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:04am - misc - by er1133 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dropped my physics class because I thought I bombed the 50% second midterm test. I got my results an hour after dropping online. I finished with an 83. I can't get back into the course. FML

#8945692
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6660) - you deserved it (57397)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:42pm - love - by mizzleshizzle - Canada (Ontario)



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