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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. We were colouring, and she told me she wanted to draw a picture of me. After she was done, she showed me the picture. I'm drawn as a fat cow. The worst part is, the picture actually looks kinda like me. FML

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

#14991299
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33637) - you deserved it (3275)

On 02/15/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by bitchasaurusrex (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son and I attended my mother's funeral. It was the first time he'd been to such an event, so to ease his grief and distract him, I turned on Max and Ruby when we got home. He quickly broke into tears; apparently, it was the episode where Max and Ruby prepare their grandma a special birthday gift. FML

#14950396
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35191) - you deserved it (4829)

On 02/12/2011 at 1:57pm - misc - by sadcartoons (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up at 11:11am. I was happy because I thought it was a sign that it was going to be a good day. I then realized that I was over an hour late for a job interview. FML

#14947981
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12077) - you deserved it (29701)

On 02/12/2011 at 10:01am - misc - by notsolucky (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML

#14852501
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17860) - you deserved it (36106)

On 02/05/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML

#14843192
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34034) - you deserved it (7590)

On 02/04/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by omnomnom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got pulled over by a cop. Since my window wasn't working, I opened the door, causing him to run towards me with a drawn gun. He then had a go at me with his night stick. After realizing my window was broken, he laughed and let me off with a warning. FML

#14742129
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34033) - you deserved it (4086)

On 01/28/2011 at 10:43am - misc - by NotoriousSRJ (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML

#14737614
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61961) - you deserved it (7289)

On 01/27/2011 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by JordanVilleneuve (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my boyfriend's brother. When he saw me, he whispered into my boyfriend's ear, "So, this is your bitch eh? Nice!" FML

#14723945
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31246) - you deserved it (5545)

On 01/26/2011 at 7:57pm - intimacy - by PLU (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML

#14604912
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26006) - you deserved it (3298)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:37pm - misc - by thisisme (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to play a friendly game of Clue with my family. This resulted in one kid crying, one dad with a broken nose, two broken plates and a trip to Walmart to get a new Clue game. FML

#14593657
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27643) - you deserved it (3942)

On 01/15/2011 at 8:50pm - misc - by fail (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was making out with a guy in a washroom at a party. Things got heavy and the guy lifted me onto the sink. The sink broke off from the wall. This caused a flood in the apartment. The party was canceled. FML

#14553118
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16133) - you deserved it (36906)

On 01/12/2011 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML

#14550598
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24310) - you deserved it (10282)

On 01/12/2011 at 3:23am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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