Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I finally got everything in order to ask out the girl of my dreams. I bought her a gold necklace, engraved with our names, and with the date on the back. Everything was going great until she got sick and had to go home. Now I'm stuck with this necklace with the wrong date. FML

#13178719
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11102) - you deserved it (49065)

On 09/24/2010 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML

#13161532
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12772) - you deserved it (31330)

On 09/22/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by gt - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dropped my iPod Touch underneath concrete slab steps, and it's physically impossible to get it back. If you stand above where the iPod is, you can still hear it play music. It's like it's mocking me. FML

#13132035
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33997) - you deserved it (6268)

On 09/20/2010 at 7:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She accidentally let slip that my dad is bad in bed. I don't think either of us will be chatting so openly for awhile. FML

#13012343
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23588) - you deserved it (8629)

On 09/12/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ewmomew (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend called and told me he had a surprise for me and to meet up with him to find out. The big surprise was a consultation with a plastic surgeon for rhinoplasty surgery. I never disliked my nose. FML

#13006251
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24599) - you deserved it (2173)

On 09/11/2010 at 4:46pm - misc - by damnit - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad hurt his back. He went to a physical therapist who gave him some exercises to do. I have to watch him lie on his back and air hump while groaning every hour on the hour for the next two weeks. FML

#12991728
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24681) - you deserved it (4113)

On 09/10/2010 at 4:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working at a restaurant. This guy comes up to the counter and asks if he could have some toothpicks. I told him they were right in front of him. He said "Sorry, I'm blind." Thinking it was a joke, I laughed until he said "No, seriously." FML

#12970630
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9739) - you deserved it (33854)

On 09/08/2010 at 11:35pm - work - by imaqtb (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a job interview. The moment I walked into the room, the interviewer said "Ok, I will interview you, but there is no way I'm hiring you." FML

#12952694
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26791) - you deserved it (3684)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:27pm - work - by Jobless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bleached my hair for the new school year. Instead of blonde, it came out orange, making my hair resemble a bloated pumpkin. FML

#12918754
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10517) - you deserved it (29111)

On 09/05/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by xXRowynXx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

#12837026
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38319) - you deserved it (7666)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:48am - love - by maebyf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12700) - you deserved it (26354)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML

#12786559
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24305) - you deserved it (3571)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:04pm - health - by Firepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: