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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, at work, there is a rumor going around that I'm gay. Somewhat curious at how did this start, I asked a co-worker. He said I was seen 3 days ago at a mall holding hands with someone who looks like a guy from behind. Three days ago, I was at the mall with my girlfriend. FML

Today, while at work, I was asked to see my boss. I was informed that the company would be laying off 20 people, and that I was one of them. I was told I could finish off the week, then was sent back to work. Twenty minutes later, my boss walked around and handed us all Christmas party invitations. FML

#13598783
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22628) - you deserved it (2088)

On 10/26/2010 at 2:35am - work - by robthebuilder (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

#13588009
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13568) - you deserved it (36749)

On 10/25/2010 at 8:32am - misc - by tanya - Canada (Ontario)

Today, l was crouched on the ground in the doorway at a haunted mansion. It's part of my job here to scare the people passing by. A 12 year old girl walked by, I grabbed her leg, and she kicked me in the face. FML

#13539413
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11743) - you deserved it (38031)

On 10/21/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had just finished re-completing all my assignments because I had lost my USB last week. I reached into my pocket for gum, instead I found the USB that I had apparently lost. I spent my weekend alone rather than spending time with my friends. I don't have another weekend off for a month. FML

#13505156
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11003) - you deserved it (25878)

On 10/18/2010 at 10:40pm - work - by haayloo (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

#13493485
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12465) - you deserved it (36796)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML

#13476444
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10437) - you deserved it (29435)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by meegs (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I attended a musical. A new song was played, and I thought I'd heard it before because it sounded strangely familiar. I sang along quietly as the song progressed, positive I knew it. Anticipating the next chorus, I belted out the lyrics with all my heart. It was instrumental. FML

#13408997
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9754) - you deserved it (45961)

On 10/11/2010 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went shopping with a friend. She picked up a hundred dollars on the floor that somebody dropped. I told her, "I feel sorry for the retard who dropped the money." When I got home, I checked my purse and realized that I was missing a hundred dollars. FML

#13380942
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9377) - you deserved it (37080)

On 10/09/2010 at 5:27pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend asked me how I did on my test. I got an 85%. She asked me what my secret was, and I said "I'm just smart". She replied, "No you're not. How did you pull it off?" FML

#13366496
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23535) - you deserved it (5981)

On 10/08/2010 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML

#13363790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24731) - you deserved it (8173)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:08am - animals - by themanzz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent a hundred dollars on new "business casual" clothes and took two hours to get ready for my interview with a government agency. My interviewer was blind. FML

#13353654
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27425) - you deserved it (6829)

On 10/07/2010 at 9:55am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML

#13345855
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9289) - you deserved it (35437)

On 10/06/2010 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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