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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML

#13273725
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40820) - you deserved it (4503)

On 10/01/2010 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a strip tease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels and tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML

#13272334
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25936) - you deserved it (8543)

On 10/01/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm the only one at work in a small office. The water tank sprung a leak. Guess who had to call the boss and get instructions via cell phone to turn it off? I can't even leave the office to change my soaked clothes, because I need to wait for an important phone call. Seven hours to go. FML

#13234254
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21198) - you deserved it (2048)

On 09/28/2010 at 10:03am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a video of my girlfriend having sex with her male best friend on her computer. When I confronted her about it she said it was from before we met. In the video, she was wearing the engagement ring I bought her. FML

#13221362
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58356) - you deserved it (3470)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while waiting on the platform, a blind man asked out loud for some help getting into the subway car. I helped him through the doors and into a seat. I decided to sit down as well. Twenty minutes later, I realized I was on the wrong subway line. FML

#13182714
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22749) - you deserved it (6082)

On 09/24/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got everything in order to ask out the girl of my dreams. I bought her a gold necklace, engraved with our names, and with the date on the back. Everything was going great until she got sick and had to go home. Now I'm stuck with this necklace with the wrong date. FML

#13178719
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11228) - you deserved it (49401)

On 09/24/2010 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML

#13161532
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12779) - you deserved it (31349)

On 09/22/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by gt - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dropped my iPod Touch underneath concrete slab steps, and it's physically impossible to get it back. If you stand above where the iPod is, you can still hear it play music. It's like it's mocking me. FML

#13132035
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34012) - you deserved it (6271)

On 09/20/2010 at 7:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She accidentally let slip that my dad is bad in bed. I don't think either of us will be chatting so openly for awhile. FML

#13012343
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23600) - you deserved it (8630)

On 09/12/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ewmomew (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend called and told me he had a surprise for me and to meet up with him to find out. The big surprise was a consultation with a plastic surgeon for rhinoplasty surgery. I never disliked my nose. FML

#13006251
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26631) - you deserved it (2340)

On 09/11/2010 at 4:46pm - misc - by damnit - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad hurt his back. He went to a physical therapist who gave him some exercises to do. I have to watch him lie on his back and air hump while groaning every hour on the hour for the next two weeks. FML

#12991728
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24691) - you deserved it (4113)

On 09/10/2010 at 4:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working at a restaurant. This guy comes up to the counter and asks if he could have some toothpicks. I told him they were right in front of him. He said "Sorry, I'm blind." Thinking it was a joke, I laughed until he said "No, seriously." FML

#12970630
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9745) - you deserved it (33872)

On 09/08/2010 at 11:35pm - work - by imaqtb (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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