Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, my brother admitted that he decides whether he will date a girl or not based on the number of likes she gets on her selfies. We share the same blood. FML

#21332081
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31609) - you deserved it (3272)

On 01/06/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by Discouraged (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

#21329304
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32405) - you deserved it (2460)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML

#21317624
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33506) - you deserved it (2665)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm - misc - by AsianSensation (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML

#21317143
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35644) - you deserved it (4344)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after months of correcting him, I got so used to my boss calling me "Alex" that I didn't respond to my own name several times today. FML

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33592) - you deserved it (4289)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date with a girl who had to cut our date short so she could go on another one. FML

#21313753
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34493) - you deserved it (3278)

On 12/08/2014 at 12:58pm - love - by Anonomous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

#21310320
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29732) - you deserved it (5299)

On 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm - animals - by allykat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that catching fewer mice in the traps I'd put out doesn't mean my pest problem is getting resolved. It means that rats have moved in. FML

#21305734
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26888) - you deserved it (2425)

On 11/25/2014 at 10:28am - animals - by ratqueen - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the Salvation Army stationed one of their obnoxious bell-ringers in the mall right outside my store. My employees and I can wave goodbye to any form of sanity for the next month. FML

#21304339
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26205) - you deserved it (4449)

On 11/23/2014 at 5:03am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

#21303227
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31889) - you deserved it (3571)

On 11/21/2014 at 8:51am - misc - by UTRejected (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

#21302073
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38538) - you deserved it (3486)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: