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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, l was crouched on the ground in the doorway at a haunted mansion. It's part of my job here to scare the people passing by. A 12 year old girl walked by, I grabbed her leg, and she kicked me in the face. FML

#13539413
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11724) - you deserved it (38007)

On 10/21/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had just finished re-completing all my assignments because I had lost my USB last week. I reached into my pocket for gum, instead I found the USB that I had apparently lost. I spent my weekend alone rather than spending time with my friends. I don't have another weekend off for a month. FML

#13505156
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10991) - you deserved it (25852)

On 10/18/2010 at 10:40pm - work - by haayloo (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

#13493485
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11929) - you deserved it (36048)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML

#13476444
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9564) - you deserved it (27818)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by meegs (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I attended a musical. A new song was played, and I thought I'd heard it before because it sounded strangely familiar. I sang along quietly as the song progressed, positive I knew it. Anticipating the next chorus, I belted out the lyrics with all my heart. It was instrumental. FML

#13408997
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9590) - you deserved it (45530)

On 10/11/2010 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went shopping with a friend. She picked up a hundred dollars on the floor that somebody dropped. I told her, "I feel sorry for the retard who dropped the money." When I got home, I checked my purse and realized that I was missing a hundred dollars. FML

#13380942
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9360) - you deserved it (37051)

On 10/09/2010 at 5:27pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend asked me how I did on my test. I got an 85%. She asked me what my secret was, and I said "I'm just smart". She replied, "No you're not. How did you pull it off?" FML

#13366496
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23511) - you deserved it (5975)

On 10/08/2010 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML

#13363790
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23993) - you deserved it (8051)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:08am - animals - by themanzz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent a hundred dollars on new "business casual" clothes and took two hours to get ready for my interview with a government agency. My interviewer was blind. FML

#13353654
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27389) - you deserved it (6827)

On 10/07/2010 at 9:55am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML

#13345855
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8418) - you deserved it (33360)

On 10/06/2010 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told me I should finish school early and get a job so we can get married, because then he'll have enough money to buy the truck he's had his eyes on for our whole relationship. FML

#13304586
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25119) - you deserved it (3645)

On 10/03/2010 at 2:34pm - money - by Ginger - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that no one actually likes me as a friend. They only like me to get answers for school work. How did I find out? They were talking about it in front of me. Apparently I'm also invisible to them. FML

#13274150
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31586) - you deserved it (3280)

On 10/01/2010 at 7:31am - misc - by DepressedKid - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML

#13273725
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40816) - you deserved it (4503)

On 10/01/2010 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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