FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, my grandpa told us he wanted to fit in. His idea of fitting in is streaking in a park at 4:00 pm. FML

by Nice 2 inch / 06/27/2011 at 8:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went camping. My tent is flooded, a raccoon ate all my food, I lost the anchor to my boat which as a result is now across the lake. Three more days. FML

by Tori Pearson / 06/27/2011 at 12:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Holidays

Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML

by anonymous / 06/21/2011 at 7:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, the only person I actually spoke with was a prank caller. I tried to have a conversation with him, but he hung up on me. FML

by m2k / 06/20/2011 at 10:59am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up early to prepare for my graduation party. I'd invited the entire graduating class of 2011, and tons of people confirmed that they were going to come. Two hours after the time I'd told everyone to show up, I'm still the only one here. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2011 at 5:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was approached by a police officer who instructed me to move because I was "threatening the elderly". I was sitting on a park bench in front of an old folks home. FML

by random / 06/15/2011 at 10:23am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I was under a building overhang to avoid getting drenched by the rain while waiting for the bus. Apparently that corner is notorious for drug dealing, I found this out when a man angrily demanded his drugs and chased me half a block. FML

by DrugDeal / 06/08/2011 at 9:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML

by Bee / 06/07/2011 at 8:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

by Jakub89 / 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML

by Loveless / 06/05/2011 at 8:23am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

by hcflorence1 / 06/04/2011 at 1:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I found out that the school principal takes all the money from the school fund raisers to buy herself donuts. I'd donated over $100. FML

by Golden~ / 06/01/2011 at 5:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML

by chickennbenchpress / 05/31/2011 at 1:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek