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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, my friend asked me how I did on my test. I got an 85%. She asked me what my secret was, and I said "I'm just smart". She replied, "No you're not. How did you pull it off?" FML

#13366496
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23485) - you deserved it (5972)

On 10/08/2010 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML

#13363790
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23965) - you deserved it (8046)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:08am - animals - by themanzz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent a hundred dollars on new "business casual" clothes and took two hours to get ready for my interview with a government agency. My interviewer was blind. FML

#13353654
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27358) - you deserved it (6826)

On 10/07/2010 at 9:55am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML

#13345855
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8411) - you deserved it (33333)

On 10/06/2010 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told me I should finish school early and get a job so we can get married, because then he'll have enough money to buy the truck he's had his eyes on for our whole relationship. FML

#13304586
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24532) - you deserved it (3581)

On 10/03/2010 at 2:34pm - money - by Ginger - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that no one actually likes me as a friend. They only like me to get answers for school work. How did I find out? They were talking about it in front of me. Apparently I'm also invisible to them. FML

#13274150
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31563) - you deserved it (3279)

On 10/01/2010 at 7:31am - misc - by DepressedKid - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML

#13273725
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40782) - you deserved it (4503)

On 10/01/2010 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a strip tease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels and tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML

#13272334
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25917) - you deserved it (8538)

On 10/01/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm the only one at work in a small office. The water tank sprung a leak. Guess who had to call the boss and get instructions via cell phone to turn it off? I can't even leave the office to change my soaked clothes, because I need to wait for an important phone call. Seven hours to go. FML

#13234254
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21156) - you deserved it (2047)

On 09/28/2010 at 10:03am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a video of my girlfriend having sex with her male best friend on her computer. When I confronted her about it she said it was from before we met. In the video, she was wearing the engagement ring I bought her. FML

#13221362
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58299) - you deserved it (3469)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while waiting on the platform, a blind man asked out loud for some help getting into the subway car. I helped him through the doors and into a seat. I decided to sit down as well. Twenty minutes later, I realized I was on the wrong subway line. FML

#13182714
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22725) - you deserved it (6081)

On 09/24/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got everything in order to ask out the girl of my dreams. I bought her a gold necklace, engraved with our names, and with the date on the back. Everything was going great until she got sick and had to go home. Now I'm stuck with this necklace with the wrong date. FML

#13178719
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11096) - you deserved it (49057)

On 09/24/2010 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML

#13161532
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12771) - you deserved it (31320)

On 09/22/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by gt - Canada (Ontario)



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