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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I parked my car to go inside to grab my wallet than I'd forgotten. In the short time it took me to do that, someone broke two of my car's windows. FML

#9018628
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19186) - you deserved it (2029)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:10am - misc - by lance - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walk out of my apartment to find that my car is decorated with explicit drawings and "Happy 21st birthday" stuff written all over it. To top it off, my vehicle is completely wrapped in plastic wrap. I'm 22 and my birthday is in December. FML

#8992744
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22479) - you deserved it (1750)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:04am - misc - by er1133 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dropped my physics class because I thought I bombed the 50% second midterm test. I got my results an hour after dropping online. I finished with an 83. I can't get back into the course. FML

#8945692
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6373) - you deserved it (56130)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:42pm - love - by mizzleshizzle - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years left me because apparently I'm "too beautiful and he can no longer handle other guys always trying to flirt with me." FML

#8927721
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26632) - you deserved it (5838)

On 03/08/2010 at 7:49pm - love - by dead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while playing poker, I lost a stack of money to somebody with the screen name "Poopface." FML

#8915112
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7375) - you deserved it (31243)

On 03/08/2010 at 7:08am - money - by prian (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boyfriend I love him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML

#8841470
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27111) - you deserved it (4689)

On 03/05/2010 at 8:06am - love - by jonnah - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

#8805892
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22030) - you deserved it (2655)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

#8797344
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20218) - you deserved it (6808)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that my sister coloured in the pages of my college text books with Sharpie as revenge. FML

#8776576
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19952) - you deserved it (4615)

On 03/02/2010 at 5:05pm - misc - by Natalie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the city bus, and there was a woman and her child sitting behind me. I began to feel tugging on my jacket so I leaned forward, assuming the child was pulling at my jacket. I sat back and felt the tugging again. After a couple of minutes, I heard the mother say "stop chewing on that!" FML

#8746322
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24107) - you deserved it (2344)

On 03/01/2010 at 11:59am - kids - by nd.11 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

#8726872
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13166) - you deserved it (16480)

On 02/28/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Joel_28 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23673) - you deserved it (2180)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

#8704782
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34177) - you deserved it (2416)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:30pm - love - by sacrophage (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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