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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I told to my girlfriend of 5 years that I'm depressed about having no friends, no job and a difficult family life. I told her that she's the one constant that keeps me going. She decided this was a good time to break up with me to "find" herself, since I was being so mopey. FML

#21467309
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24519) - you deserved it (3534)

On 09/11/2015 at 2:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a date after being alone for the past 2 years. The girl who my friends set me up with began asking my monthly income, my current occupation, and asked if I have a credit card account. FML

#21466052
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25795) - you deserved it (1897)

On 09/08/2015 at 8:35am - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to bike to work. I normally forget the key to my lock, so I leave it out back and hope that nobody takes it, and nobody does. I finally remembered my lock key so I chained it up. After my 7 hour shift, I walk to the back only to find the lock had been cut, and my bike was gone. FML

#21464905
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24352) - you deserved it (1834)

On 09/05/2015 at 2:47pm - work - by Blue_Heart - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to visit my mom and my 3-month-old sister. I picked the baby up, totally unaware that she had just eaten. As I went to give her a kiss, she vomited straight into my mouth. Let's just say she wasn't the only one who puked. FML

#21464517
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22180) - you deserved it (2666)

On 09/04/2015 at 1:46pm - kids - by brittsters (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I put aside my weekend plans to help my aunt with the extermination guy spraying her new house down to prevent cockroaches. After he left, my aunt asked me to go in and turn off the lights because the fumes were very deadly. If I chose not to, she would tell my mom I did nothing all day. FML

#21462982
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24303) - you deserved it (1928)

On 08/31/2015 at 1:17pm - health - by Rakib (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my mom about my issues with my girlfriend. While she was sympathizing, she slowly picked up my wallet, took $100 and left. FML

#21462595
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23413) - you deserved it (2092)

On 08/30/2015 at 2:29pm - money - by FranchezDeVista (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized I could make more money being on welfare than I can at my current job. FML

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

#21462289
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22044) - you deserved it (2048)

On 08/29/2015 at 8:06pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on my daughter's 9th birthday, I have to let her know that her dog died in his sleep overnight. Happy birthday. FML

Today, my coworker called me a liar when I said I've been to New York. This is the same psycho who honestly expects me to believe that she and Brad Pitt have a "thing" and that he secretly communicates with her through interviews on TV. FML

#21459151
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25122) - you deserved it (1699)

On 08/22/2015 at 1:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my daughter that we're going to the beach. Today, my daughter also tried to dig up our deceased dog that we buried in our back yard last week so it can come along. FML

#21458250
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23523) - you deserved it (1675)

On 08/19/2015 at 10:38pm - kids - by GlueAndCarrots - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of five years broke up with me, saying I've changed and she can't be with someone who's so emotional all the time. Well I'm so sorry that after two weeks, I'm not quite over my brother's death yet. FML

#21457397
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39386) - you deserved it (1677)

On 08/18/2015 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend dyed her hair from blonde to brunette. An hour later, she found one of her blonde hairs on my pillow, and accused me of cheating. FML

#21457265
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28568) - you deserved it (1934)

On 08/17/2015 at 6:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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