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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML

#19934341
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24965) - you deserved it (2325)

On 07/13/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by heartbroken (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25357) - you deserved it (2847)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML

#19893089
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20196) - you deserved it (2125)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:01am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went for a jog. I was 5 km away from home when I had a sudden urge to poop. I didn't want to use the bushes, so I thought I could hold it in. I was wrong. FML

#19890134
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21537) - you deserved it (5030)

On 07/04/2012 at 9:48am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML

#19871272
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22306) - you deserved it (1881)

On 06/30/2012 at 12:22pm - misc - by babyeaternomnom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML

#19868224
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42524) - you deserved it (2469)

On 06/29/2012 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML

#19858629
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23748) - you deserved it (2241)

On 06/28/2012 at 12:51am - love - by TheAngryBird - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

#19841077
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27951) - you deserved it (3053)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

#19838531
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30266) - you deserved it (2851)

On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

#19824188
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26826) - you deserved it (2507)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my crush working the only open till at the grocery store. When she saw me approach her queue, she immediately called for more cashiers. FML

#19823688
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20780) - you deserved it (2984)

On 06/21/2012 at 11:40am - love - by rink.attendant.6 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got to see a waterfall up close. Too bad it was in my bedroom. FML

#19810055
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18634) - you deserved it (1742)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:31pm - misc - by ducklover1 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML

#19806668
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23117) - you deserved it (2304)

On 06/18/2012 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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