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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I was at my job life-guarding, when a woman pushed the spine-board over, hitting me on the back of my head. She laughed, but I now have a concussion and a stiff neck, and my co-workers can't stop laughing at the "irony." FML

#19591635
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13147) - you deserved it (897)

On 05/08/2012 at 10:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

#19587857
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18824) - you deserved it (7569)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to convince my 28-year-old boyfriend to take down his booger wall. FML

#19584469
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14700) - you deserved it (3487)

On 05/06/2012 at 10:03pm - misc - by fock (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML

#19579357
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9131) - you deserved it (28862)

On 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by mhm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I wrecked my car and got rushed to the emergency room. While strapped to a gurney, a nurse reached in my back pocket, grabbed my wallet and pulled the velcro keeping my wallet shut. The entire room immediately started laughing as condoms and loose change went flying everywhere. FML

#19572615
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13838) - you deserved it (2607)

On 05/04/2012 at 10:34am - misc - by UnderConstruction (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new neighbours moved in. I've neither seen nor spoken to them yet; all I know is that they enjoy hammering at the walls for hours on end and repeatedly setting off the fire alarm. All this in the small hours of the morning. I got two hours of sleep. FML

#19558757
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16989) - you deserved it (1535)

On 05/01/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

#19557716
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18688) - you deserved it (4135)

On 05/01/2012 at 9:58am - work - by Nice (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain to a customer how our hotel charged his card even though he has never stayed with us. Apparently his wife is a regular customer. I can't help but feel like a home-wrecker. FML

#19541511
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28748) - you deserved it (1752)

On 04/28/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by Steve - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML

#19504672
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19337) - you deserved it (3184)

On 04/21/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by wmkaz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called my mobile phone provider to end my contract. A sales rep spent over half an hour trying to convince me to reconsider, and I kept refusing. I ended up breaking down and accepting a "more economical" contract, which I didn't notice costs almost twice as much as the last one. FML

#19503587
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6659) - you deserved it (30880)

On 04/20/2012 at 10:49pm - money - by ... (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home from work to find my kids playing Frisbee with my collection of rare, valuable vinyl records. The term "smash hit record" took on a whole new meaning. FML

#19488464
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21022) - you deserved it (2135)

On 04/18/2012 at 2:57am - kids - by ChampionshipVinyl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to admit that I hate the wedding dress that I've designed. My wedding is in a week. FML

#19469447
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6838) - you deserved it (22531)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:02pm - misc - by al (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, despite the fact that I'm really sick, my mom insisted that I come home and help babysit my cousins this weekend. When I got there, everyone else took off to do "errands," leaving me with three hyperactive, howler monkey-like children to deal with. FML

#19467974
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17520) - you deserved it (2040)

On 04/14/2012 at 6:19pm - kids - by Rory - Canada (Ontario)



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