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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I'd stayed up all night to finish a detailed report. By the time I'd printed it I was late for work so I jumped in my car. Driving down the street, I saw my papers fly off the roof of my car. It was raining out. FML

#20112748
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17433) - you deserved it (7015)

On 10/11/2012 at 9:51pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend and tell him that the red bumps around my nipples was heat rash, rather than admit it was actually razor burn. FML

#20110590
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24755) - you deserved it (8660)

On 10/10/2012 at 3:07pm - intimacy - by hairynips (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16161) - you deserved it (61036)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I left the hospital after having knee surgery. While trying to find my balance on my crutches, I was holding onto the roof of the car. My mum slammed the car door shut, not noticing my hand. I can barely even bend my fingers to hold onto my crutches. FML

#20105201
78 comments

Today, we had movers come in to take all of our stuff as the final step to our move to the States. We have our flight scheduled for tomorrow evening. Thing is, they accidentally took my carry-on bag without my knowledge. In that carry-on there was a little something called a passport. FML

#20093240
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22579) - you deserved it (2790)

On 09/29/2012 at 3:39am - misc - by bluefrisky - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML

#20090283
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18815) - you deserved it (2381)

On 09/26/2012 at 10:29pm - love - by - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to suffer through a four hour flight beside my ex. Yesterday, I proposed, on the last day of our vacation. She said no. FML

#20083004
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31905) - you deserved it (2607)

On 09/22/2012 at 12:54am - love - by Flighted (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26893) - you deserved it (3128)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML

#20079438
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29009) - you deserved it (3012)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:22pm - love - by Shame (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML

#20078928
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7897) - you deserved it (39212)

On 09/19/2012 at 5:27am - love - by pussyface96 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I held hands with a male mannequin in a department store, just to remember what holding hands felt like. FML

#20069351
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23630) - you deserved it (5860)

On 09/12/2012 at 8:26pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to be a gentleman and let an old lady have my seat on the bus. Before I could even get up, she sat on my lap and wouldn't get off. I got an involuntary lap dance from a grandma. FML

Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML

#20065022
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19978) - you deserved it (1942)

On 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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