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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML

#19981666
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23071) - you deserved it (2511)

On 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm - kids - by Jessi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

#19979145
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23816) - you deserved it (16972)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:35am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after feeling a little down about myself and looking for comfort from my boyfriend, he told me that my stretch marks make me look like a tiger. FML

#19967634
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21387) - you deserved it (3157)

On 07/21/2012 at 11:08am - love - by marquez_jasmine - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

#19965581
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28123) - you deserved it (2731)

On 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by divorce? i think so (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23898) - you deserved it (5457)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

#19942597
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39630) - you deserved it (1835)

On 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML

#19935872
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15053) - you deserved it (29299)

On 07/14/2012 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Leyla - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML

#19934341
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24996) - you deserved it (2328)

On 07/13/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by heartbroken (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25381) - you deserved it (2851)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML

#19893089
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20218) - you deserved it (2127)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:01am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went for a jog. I was 5 km away from home when I had a sudden urge to poop. I didn't want to use the bushes, so I thought I could hold it in. I was wrong. FML

#19890134
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21567) - you deserved it (5033)

On 07/04/2012 at 9:48am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML

#19871272
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22342) - you deserved it (1881)

On 06/30/2012 at 12:22pm - misc - by babyeaternomnom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML

#19868224
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42621) - you deserved it (2476)

On 06/29/2012 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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