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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I realized I have been single for far too long when I was turning off porno after porno because I couldn't stand the horrible acting. FML

#19806122
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19829) - you deserved it (5049)

On 06/18/2012 at 6:22am - intimacy - by the critic (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I remember that I changed my phone lock password when I was still half asleep this morning, but I don't remember what I changed it to. FML

#19796326
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11569) - you deserved it (14253)

On 06/16/2012 at 9:44am - misc - by sadphonegirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML

#19781489
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19901) - you deserved it (2838)

On 06/13/2012 at 10:50am - work - by lonelyharts86 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I used a prank app, where you shake the cell, and it makes the screen looks cracked. I ended up losing my grip on the phone. It went flying, and it is now cracked for real. FML

#19763954
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8146) - you deserved it (28533)

On 06/10/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

#19753089
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23226) - you deserved it (7776)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:35am - misc - by ugh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML

#19739017
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21633) - you deserved it (6844)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Damn (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

#19688308
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21866) - you deserved it (14199)

On 05/27/2012 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by oh lord - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML

#19685712
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22220) - you deserved it (1575)

On 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by anonymus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my birthday, and I woke up to my dad telling me that we're going to Disneyland. Apparently, by "we" he meant him and my mom. They did, however, make a point to say "happy birthday" before they left. FML

#19648886
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27546) - you deserved it (1610)

On 05/19/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by Schubey (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at my wedding, my husband's drunk friend admitted that the only reason my husband and I started dating was because he was dared. FML

#19644675
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22482) - you deserved it (1994)

On 05/19/2012 at 12:17am - love - by Asdf649 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that my acne glows yellow and orange under black lights while in front of a wall of them at a club. FML

#19630499
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19871) - you deserved it (2072)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

#19613905
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18068) - you deserved it (3298)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Andy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML

#19608696
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34228) - you deserved it (5868)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by rawr_fml001 - Canada (Ontario)



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