Today, I put my cat in the tub for a bath, as he rolled around in some mud. The second I put my hand on the faucet to turn the water on, he screamed, rather loudly. I yelled in shock, which must have scared him further, as he vigorously attacked my face and pissed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16247) - you deserved it (10041)
On 09/07/2011 at 12:47pm - animals - by GEFStryker - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I left my book on the plane after I'd finished reading it. The flight attendant thought I'd forgotten it, so he chased me through the airport, past security, past customs, and past baggage claims. I didn't have the heart to tell him I left it on purpose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6479) - you deserved it (34529)
Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19699) - you deserved it (27205)
On 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by SterlingSilver91 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I noticed a young child wandering out onto a busy street. I managed to grab his arm just as he stepped off the sidewalk and yank him away from almost certain death. My reward was his mother, who was on her cell phone the whole time, screaming at me for touching her child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26553) - you deserved it (1504)
On 08/31/2011 at 1:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16169) - you deserved it (8363)
On 08/30/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9989) - you deserved it (46661)
On 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by slut (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18571) - you deserved it (3598)
On 08/27/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was taking out the garbage at work when I slipped and fell into the garbage container. The scent was so bad that a bus driver denied me a ride home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18659) - you deserved it (2167)
On 08/25/2011 at 1:29am - work - by badluckantonio - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20361) - you deserved it (6184)
On 08/24/2011 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7059) - you deserved it (31866)
On 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by Kendal - Canada (Ontario)
Today, someone broke into my house. They stole my TV, DVD player and a few DVDs. However they only took about 2 out of 100 DVDs. Apparently that's how bad my taste is in movies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18065) - you deserved it (4298)
On 08/23/2011 at 12:38pm - misc - by jarrettsorko - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6572) - you deserved it (37942)
On 08/22/2011 at 2:43am - health - by heheheh - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Half way through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She won't talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8311) - you deserved it (51668)
On 08/20/2011 at 12:58am - intimacy - by KiDCuSHi - Canada (Ontario)
Friday 24 May 2013
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