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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, I got a very serious case of the shits while in the middle of trying to close a sale, and had to run to the bathroom. My coworker picked up the sale, stealing all the commission in the process. FML

Today, my girlfriend sent me a text message confessing that she's been cheating on me. Apparently she regretted telling me the truth, because when I confronted her face-to-face, she claimed her roommate had sent it as a prank. She doesn't have a roommate. FML

#21167164
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46802) - you deserved it (3923)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:01pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally finished a drawing that someone had asked and said they would pay me for. I worked on it for multiple hours and was very proud of it. When it came to discussing payment, I asked what his best offer was. A pack of cigarettes. FML

#21161435
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39294) - you deserved it (7954)

On 06/03/2014 at 7:56am - money - by xerrika - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML

#21158441
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50862) - you deserved it (7130)

On 05/31/2014 at 5:30pm - kids - by idiot says "you raised him" (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML

#21153463
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48292) - you deserved it (6370)

On 05/27/2014 at 2:47pm - misc - by N O - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while driving home, some idiot kept tailgating me, so I slowed down, hoping he'd overtake me. He didn't, so I pulled to the side of the road. He did the same, in front of me. He kept toying with me until I crashed into another car trying to speed away from him. FML

#21149457
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42791) - you deserved it (14216)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother tried to give my dog a walk by attaching an RC helicopter to the leash and following him while flying it. He broke the RC helicopter which cost 300 dollars, and we had to search for the dog for 3 hours. FML

#21147533
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40170) - you deserved it (8204)

On 05/21/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by Ace - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML

#21145062
191 comments

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

#21141244
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38931) - you deserved it (16477)

On 05/15/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by NickJJ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a $20 gift card to Tim Horton's as a prize, and decided to use it. At the register, I was told that I'd essentially won an empty gift card. FML

#21139747
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41630) - you deserved it (3644)

On 05/14/2014 at 3:23pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (246) - you deserved it (18564)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I read that egg whites make a good hair treatment. Everything was going fine until, without thinking, I turned the hot water on to wash it out. I'm still picking the cooked egg out of my hair. FML

#21129302
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24610) - you deserved it (32312)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:57am - misc - by EggHead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally decided to do something productive and clean my room. When I went to pick up the first thing off my floor I hit my head on my desk and gave myself a concussion. FML

#21123165
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34834) - you deserved it (6307)

On 04/26/2014 at 12:22am - misc - by vee2013 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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