Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposely poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

#21414073
89 comments

Today, I had the most excitement I have felt in the last two months when I went to a drugstore and they had my favourite bandaids. FML

#21410948
69 comments

Today, my overly-clean mum decided to drop by and surprise me by cleaning my house while I was out jogging. She used half a bottle of bleach, and now it hurts to blink, let alone breathe. FML

#21410694
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27728) - you deserved it (2654)

On 05/15/2015 at 8:51pm - misc - by pasha - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

#21406694
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30626) - you deserved it (2794)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:44am - misc - by brittrus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

#21403442
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29997) - you deserved it (3600)

On 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by gross - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety. My sister's insightful comment? "I think your problem is that you need to get laid." My mom agreed with her. FML

#21401985
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29350) - you deserved it (3260)

On 04/29/2015 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by sexandanxiety (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, less than a month from our wedding, my fiancé told me that he doesn't trust me and will be cancelling our wedding and new apartment lease if I don't give him all the names, numbers and addresses of my exes. All because I received a text from a wrong number that said, "Hey baby." FML

#21400981
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33171) - you deserved it (3732)

On 04/28/2015 at 1:32am - love - by Groomzilla? - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML

Today, I received a terrible grade for an essay I worked really hard on. I had two friends, one being an English major, check it over. However, apparently I "clearly didn't use spellcheck" on this essay just like the last one I submitted to her. FML

#21394988
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24720) - you deserved it (5306)

On 04/16/2015 at 11:34pm - work - by shaifox96 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML

#21394264
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17103) - you deserved it (33393)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought my dad was finally showing interest in the business I started last year when he asked about my next event. Nope, he just wanted to know if I would hire his step-granddaughter. Her first question: "So, I won't have to do any like, real work right?" Gee, thanks Dad. FML

#21393221
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26268) - you deserved it (1905)

On 04/13/2015 at 9:50pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

#21391716
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33806) - you deserved it (2499)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:12am - animals - by Crappy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

#21389569
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33098) - you deserved it (5098)

On 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by burnswhenipee - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: