Today, my brother and I drove 3 hours to pick up our puppy. The woman we bought him from said not to put him in the cage for the ride home as he would pee for sure. She recommended I put him on my lap. Not only did he shit on the seat backing out of her driveway, he pissed on me an hour later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17878) - you deserved it (5857)
On 12/25/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that my estranged daughter has been married for five years. I wasn't told of or invited to their wedding, and the only reason I know now is because she needs money for a divorce lawyer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22072) - you deserved it (3641)
On 12/23/2011 at 3:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend proposed. I fainted due to the excitement. He took it as a "no" and won't pick up my calls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27756) - you deserved it (2926)
On 12/18/2011 at 7:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6527) - you deserved it (24585)
On 12/16/2011 at 1:31am - health - by Username (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30814) - you deserved it (2955)
On 12/12/2011 at 4:45pm - kids - by Santa - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25768) - you deserved it (2007)
On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20763) - you deserved it (3243)
On 12/08/2011 at 12:41pm - kids - by childdreamkiller (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28172) - you deserved it (5005)
On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20446) - you deserved it (5316)
On 12/06/2011 at 9:33am - health - by aceshot97 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend's response to my question about where our relationship was going was, "Let me check what my Celtic Runes have to say about it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15684) - you deserved it (2606)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while placing her order. I work as a Drive-Thru cashier at McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25761) - you deserved it (3494)
On 12/03/2011 at 8:29pm - love - by drummahboi99 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26635) - you deserved it (4032)
On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the laundromat, when an attractive girl set up at the machine next to mine. She looked me up and down, then noticed the skid-marks on my underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7197) - you deserved it (26151)
On 12/02/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by gtfb1993 - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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