Today, I tried to discipline my two year old son. Whenever I do this, he starts pointing and imitating me, and I can't help but laugh. This explains why he never listens to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6454) - you deserved it (22228)
On 01/07/2012 at 12:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21186) - you deserved it (3416)
On 01/07/2012 at 9:07am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling good about it until I saw the interviewer. It was a guy I had sex with and never called again. He remembered me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12490) - you deserved it (33677)
On 01/05/2012 at 11:00am - intimacy - by jwshrieky - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21872) - you deserved it (5907)
On 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm - animals - by vanessa560 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24804) - you deserved it (7337)
On 01/01/2012 at 1:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I tore a muscle in my back. At the hospital, I was prescribed some pain medication. My husband got me settled at home, with everything I needed within reach, and left for work. As I picked up the bottle to take the first pill, I knocked it on the floor. It rolled under the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22376) - you deserved it (2870)
On 12/29/2011 at 2:01pm - health - by digressions (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25510) - you deserved it (6207)
On 12/29/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by Snurkles McGree (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my brother and I drove 3 hours to pick up our puppy. The woman we bought him from said not to put him in the cage for the ride home as he would pee for sure. She recommended I put him on my lap. Not only did he shit on the seat backing out of her driveway, he pissed on me an hour later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17037) - you deserved it (4886)
On 12/25/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that my estranged daughter has been married for five years. I wasn't told of or invited to their wedding, and the only reason I know now is because she needs money for a divorce lawyer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20839) - you deserved it (3030)
On 12/23/2011 at 3:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend proposed. I fainted due to the excitement. He took it as a "no" and won't pick up my calls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27698) - you deserved it (2925)
On 12/18/2011 at 7:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6110) - you deserved it (19475)
On 12/16/2011 at 1:31am - health - by Username (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30747) - you deserved it (2952)
On 12/12/2011 at 4:45pm - kids - by Santa - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25727) - you deserved it (2004)
On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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