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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

#19824188
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21168) - you deserved it (1771)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my crush working the only open till at the grocery store. When she saw me approach her queue, she immediately called for more cashiers. FML

#19823688
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15540) - you deserved it (2111)

On 06/21/2012 at 11:40am - love - by rink.attendant.6 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got to see a waterfall up close. Too bad it was in my bedroom. FML

#19810055
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14065) - you deserved it (1206)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:31pm - misc - by ducklover1 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML

#19806668
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17946) - you deserved it (1618)

On 06/18/2012 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized I have been single for far too long when I was turning off porno after porno because I couldn't stand the horrible acting. FML

#19806122
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14454) - you deserved it (3644)

On 06/18/2012 at 6:22am - intimacy - by the critic (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I remember that I changed my phone lock password when I was still half asleep this morning, but I don't remember what I changed it to. FML

#19796326
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11259) - you deserved it (13893)

On 06/16/2012 at 9:44am - misc - by sadphonegirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML

#19781489
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18196) - you deserved it (2308)

On 06/13/2012 at 10:50am - work - by lonelyharts86 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I used a prank app, where you shake the cell, and it makes the screen looks cracked. I ended up losing my grip on the phone. It went flying, and it is now cracked for real. FML

#19763954
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7153) - you deserved it (21275)

On 06/10/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

#19753089
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20695) - you deserved it (7340)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:35am - misc - by ugh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML

#19739017
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16413) - you deserved it (5007)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Damn (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

#19688308
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17384) - you deserved it (11718)

On 05/27/2012 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by oh lord - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML

#19685712
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19523) - you deserved it (1196)

On 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by anonymus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my birthday, and I woke up to my dad telling me that we're going to Disneyland. Apparently, by "we" he meant him and my mom. They did, however, make a point to say "happy birthday" before they left. FML

#19648886
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22864) - you deserved it (1164)

On 05/19/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by Schubey (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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