Today, since we hadn't be romantic for a while, I shaved, bathed, cut my hair and snuggled naked up to my husband in bed. He got up went to the computer, masterbated to porn, came back to bed and asked me what was for breakfast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (157) - you totally deserved it (40)
On 11/20/2009 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Inkabadger (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up with a ridiculous hangover and no memory of last night. I called my friend who proceeded to tell me that I was so trashed I ended up eating all the hamburgers and chicken fingers in her fridge. I've been a vegetarian for 15 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4598) - you totally deserved it (21116)
On 11/18/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by squishy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy requiring pet owners to carry dogs in common areas because someone's dog is peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14263) - you totally deserved it (1588)
On 11/18/2009 at 4:50am - misc - by Slivered - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my sister was playing a rock star in a play. When she got home, she told me she used one of my old guitars, because I told her it was ok. I said she could take one to practice on, not destroy on stage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15620) - you totally deserved it (1795)
On 11/16/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, feeling like I needed to relax, I ordered room service at my hotel. When I was finished I went to put the tray outside not thinking about needing a key to get back in. I locked myself out of my room wearing happy face underwear in a $250 a night hotel. I had to go to the lobby to get a new key. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3673) - you totally deserved it (10523)
On 11/16/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after dating for almost five years, my boyfriend stated that I have a "perfect and amazing personality" but that my looks are not what he "envisioned himself spending the rest of his life with." In other words, I'm ugly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19287) - you totally deserved it (1658)
On 11/15/2009 at 9:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14621) - you totally deserved it (2487)
On 11/13/2009 at 7:09pm - kids - by DeeElleGee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I thought it would be funny to draw a d*ck on my friend's binder while he was out of the class. While perfecting the drawing I realized the class had gone quiet. Looking up I realised my teacher had been watching me. I had to stand up infront of the class and talk about the drawing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2565) - you totally deserved it (23697)
On 11/12/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by MaiB (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20974) - you totally deserved it (1800)
On 11/11/2009 at 7:21am - love - by Starchyld (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I told my friends I had been hiding something that I wanted to come clean on. My one friend responds by saying, "FINALLY you come out of the closet. It's about time." I'm not gay. I was just going to tell them my parents were getting a divorce. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15686) - you totally deserved it (2178)
On 11/10/2009 at 11:25am - misc - by ClosetMishap (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in his bed watching football when it went to commercial. He started kissing my neck and trying to get me turned on. Then I remembered we'd be going to visit his mom soon, where we'd be playing Wii. That thought turned me on more than my boyfriend did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1595) - you totally deserved it (3755)
On 11/10/2009 at 4:09am - intimacy - by vanessa_d15 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I attended a focus group. Since I've been unemployed for a month now I thought the $60 would come in handy. By the time I finished someone had broken into my car, stole my GPS and MP3 player. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12877) - you totally deserved it (1267)
On 11/09/2009 at 10:16pm - money - by unlucky (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML
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On 11/09/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by Kirta (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
