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FMLs submitted from Ontario

Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

#21383517
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19940) - you deserved it (5029)

On 03/29/2015 at 11:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

#21381329
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29598) - you deserved it (3996)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:40pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

#21379776
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29643) - you deserved it (2431)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:24pm - kids - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing Dance Dance Revolution in an arcade when a woman came up and asked me if playing it was my job. I laughed but then realized that it is actually the closest thing I have to a job. FML

#21377906
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23239) - you deserved it (29)

On 03/19/2015 at 5:49pm - work - by DDRFreak (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

#21375407
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29528) - you deserved it (2136)

On 03/16/2015 at 12:10am - love - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I googled for an hour how to open my CD player on my laptop. Turns out, there is none. They just put a space there to make it look like a CD player. FML

#21372194
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27382) - you deserved it (3)

On 03/10/2015 at 11:03pm - misc - by Blonde - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sent a picture to my best friend of the shoes I want to wear to prom. She replied, "Wow those are so unique". I guess she forgot that last week she told me she only uses the word unique when she hates something. FML

#21370634
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26492) - you deserved it (2637)

On 03/08/2015 at 5:49pm - misc - by uglyshoegirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to sit and smile as a drunk lady ranted about how body hair on a woman is disgusting and unfeminine, then in the next breath say that only pedos like women who shave their vaginas. That's the last time I ever have dinner with my boyfriend's parents. FML

#21369265
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28154) - you deserved it (1922)

On 03/06/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got into an accident. As I was talking to a police officer about what happened, the tow truck driver managed to take my car and drive away, leaving me with no phone or wallet. I just spent an hour walking home in a hail storm. FML

#21368246
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28861) - you deserved it (2469)

On 03/04/2015 at 8:18pm - misc - by neverforgetyourphone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

#21367801
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40945) - you deserved it (3440)

On 03/04/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Highnapple - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML

#21364143
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29883) - you deserved it (2659)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my son likes to pee in the shower. He stated, "It's okay because dad pees in the sink!" I'm living with a bunch of bears. FML

#21363816
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2) - you deserved it (4789)

On 02/26/2015 at 6:24am - kids - by showerlover (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML

#21361801
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31161) - you deserved it (2816)

On 02/23/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Wutdafuqq (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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