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FMLs submitted from Oklahoma

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

#3593613
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11932) - you deserved it (100384)

On 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

#2534485
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61774) - you deserved it (5612)

On 06/02/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Higgs (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I texted everyone in my phone to remind them mother's day is tomorrow. Everyone including the boy whose mom died last year. FML

#1783104
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17243) - you deserved it (74835)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I stopped at a red light. I noticed the car in front of me had the reverse lights on. I thought to myself "Meh, that person must know. They wouldn't do that." The light turned green. Turns out they didn't. Nor did they have insurance. FML

#1705413
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48035) - you deserved it (4510)

On 05/06/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by jezusflowers (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my son and I were on an airplane playing "I Spy" to pass the time. The game went back and forth a few times when my son said, "I spy something yellow." After pointing out numerous yellow objects on the plane I gave up. He said, "Daddy! It's your teeth!" FML

#1225856
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51184) - you deserved it (17909)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:46pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I received my graduation gift, a bath robe, from my parents. My have two older sisters also graduated. The first one got a Tiffany's bracelet, the second one got a plane ticket to Europe. FML

#260878
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68081) - you deserved it (3048)

On 03/10/2009 at 2:37pm - misc - by dileigh (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mother got a call from our old high school saying that they had fifteen freshmen boys in his office with a nude photo of me on their phones. I had sent that photo only to my boyfriend. Apparently he loves to share me. FML

#167901
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28048) - you deserved it (82575)

On 03/01/2009 at 1:58am - intimacy - by fmlisthebomb (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told me the key to a happy/successful relationship was "letting your man explore ALL your orifices." FML

#130109
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42928) - you deserved it (3575)

On 02/25/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to a fastfood restaurant to pick up food for my work party. I ordered 250 chicken fingers, 15 orders of fries, and 2 gallons of tea, and the guy behind the counter asked, "Is this for here or to go?" FML

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

#10978
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8028) - you deserved it (47976)

On 02/05/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML

#8528
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31664) - you deserved it (2093)

On 02/04/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by 918boyz (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, the only girl I'm friends with deleted my comment off of her profile because she was too embarrassed that people would see we were friends. FML

#6514
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35201) - you deserved it (2898)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by sh33zy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)



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