Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8772) - you deserved it (76575)
On 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54157) - you deserved it (4266)
On 06/02/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Higgs (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I texted everyone in my phone to remind them mother's day is tomorrow. Everyone including the boy whose mom died last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13393) - you deserved it (9273)
On 05/09/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I stopped at a red light. I noticed the car in front of me had the reverse lights on. I thought to myself "Meh, that person must know. They wouldn't do that." The light turned green. Turns out they didn't. Nor did they have insurance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42295) - you deserved it (3909)
On 05/06/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by jezusflowers (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (157403) - you deserved it (8669)
On 04/28/2009 at 6:13pm - money - by Sad (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my son and I were on an airplane playing "I Spy" to pass the time. The game went back and forth a few times when my son said, "I spy something yellow." After pointing out numerous yellow objects on the plane I gave up. He said, "Daddy! It's your teeth!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44316) - you deserved it (13313)
On 04/22/2009 at 3:46pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I received my graduation gift, a bath robe, from my parents. I have two older sisters graduated. The first one got a Tiffanys bracelet, the second one got a plane ticket to Europe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59787) - you deserved it (2345)
On 03/10/2009 at 2:37pm - misc - by dileigh (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my mother got a call from our old high school saying that they had fifteen freshmen boys in his office with a nude photo of me on their phones. I had sent that photo only to my boyfriend. Apparently he loves to share me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24097) - you deserved it (75146)
On 03/01/2009 at 1:58am - intimacy - by fmlisthebomb (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told me the key to a happy/successful relationship was "letting your man explore ALL your orifices." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37006) - you deserved it (2805)
On 02/25/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I went to a fastfood restaurant to pick up food for my work party. I ordered 250 chicken fingers, 15 orders of fries, and 2 gallons of tea, and the guy behind the counter asked, "Is this for here or to go?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32102) - you deserved it (5098)
On 02/15/2009 at 4:27pm - misc - by efffmylife - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5861) - you deserved it (37198)
On 02/05/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26173) - you deserved it (1668)
On 02/04/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by 918boyz (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, the only girl I'm friends with deleted my comment off of her profile because she was too embarrassed that people would see we were friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30156) - you deserved it (2490)
On 02/03/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by sh33zy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Monday 17 June 2013
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