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FMLs submitted from Oklahoma

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML

#6378633
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8443) - you deserved it (17195)

On 11/20/2009 at 9:53am - intimacy - by WorstMedicalBill (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I did laundry in my apartment complex's laundry room. I put my stuff in the dryer and returned to my room. The sign on the door says the laundry room closes at 10 pm, but that's rarely true. Tonight it was. I have to wait until 8 am. I work at 7:30. My work clothes are in there. FML

#6253724
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8341) - you deserved it (35594)

On 11/11/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Miserable (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to the grocery store where I work to pick up my pay check. After I got it, I headed back to the dorms to take a quick nap before Chemistry later. I woke up, and my check was gone. I later found it. In the form of a text from my roommate saying he gambled away 'our' money. FML

#6253636
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28553) - you deserved it (3476)

On 11/11/2009 at 1:55am - money - by whoawhat (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I talked to my crush for twenty minutes at Wal-mart. Then I realized I forgot to take off my Weight Watchers meeting nametag. FML

#6242607
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16799) - you deserved it (23222)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:53pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML

#6100945
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33789) - you deserved it (5896)

On 11/01/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mother sent my birthday present to me four days late. It was a handy keychain blood alcohol detector so I can make sure I'm sober before I drive. FML

#6068781
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21564) - you deserved it (6825)

On 10/30/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while I was on a second date with this guy, my roommate tried calling me and I ignored her. After dinner my date brought me back to my apartment and there was a waterfall gushing down from the balcony above our apartment. The guys above us had started a fire and our apartment was flooded. FML

#6065412
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24026) - you deserved it (5947)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:31am - misc - by effinit (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found my checking and savings account to both read $0.00. My parents transferred all my money to theirs because "I'm irresponsible, and not fit to handle money." I'm a 3.8 college student and have a full-time job. They are currently unemployed. FML

#6062810
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39079) - you deserved it (3397)

On 10/29/2009 at 10:00pm - misc - by Bummer - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML

#5827386
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31655) - you deserved it (3174)

On 10/14/2009 at 11:19am - love - by DumpedHisAss (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

#5522422
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68344) - you deserved it (9231)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

#5407615
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38115) - you deserved it (15356)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my unemployed boyfriend and I went to the casino. I gave him twenty dollars to play on. He won $1000 on a dollar machine then jackpotted the ten dollar machine for $20,000. When we got home he broke up with me. I have been working two jobs to get our own place. Move in Date?? 2 weeks. FML

#5351230
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43183) - you deserved it (4527)

On 09/19/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)



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