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FMLs submitted from Oklahoma

Today, I grounded my son for being a smart ass. Now he can't go to the cub scout campout this weekend. He's been howling, sobbing, stomping, slamming and screaming for about three continuous hours. I am not sure who this punishment has inflicted more suffering on: my son or me. FML

Today, I went outside to scrape the inch and a half of ice off my car so I could get to work. After half an hour of intense scraping, I realized that it wasn't my car. FML

#7782560
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14010) - you deserved it (24239)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

#7330766
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21455) - you deserved it (3871)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:27pm - love - by meow (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML

#6734413
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6612) - you deserved it (19541)

On 12/13/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, the "hot" guy I've been talking to for a few weeks sent me a picture. He was very overweight and not good looking at all. He then followed up with, "Now send me one of you so I can prove to all of my friends that you're real." FML

#6655081
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8166) - you deserved it (34613)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by Alison (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML

#6378633
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8384) - you deserved it (17063)

On 11/20/2009 at 9:53am - intimacy - by WorstMedicalBill (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I did laundry in my apartment complex's laundry room. I put my stuff in the dryer and returned to my room. The sign on the door says the laundry room closes at 10 pm, but that's rarely true. Tonight it was. I have to wait until 8 am. I work at 7:30. My work clothes are in there. FML

#6253724
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8295) - you deserved it (35433)

On 11/11/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Miserable (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to the grocery store where I work to pick up my pay check. After I got it, I headed back to the dorms to take a quick nap before Chemistry later. I woke up, and my check was gone. I later found it. In the form of a text from my roommate saying he gambled away 'our' money. FML

#6253636
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28386) - you deserved it (3458)

On 11/11/2009 at 1:55am - money - by whoawhat (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I talked to my crush for twenty minutes at Wal-mart. Then I realized I forgot to take off my Weight Watchers meeting nametag. FML

#6242607
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16710) - you deserved it (23102)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:53pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML

#6100945
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33640) - you deserved it (5881)

On 11/01/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mother sent my birthday present to me four days late. It was a handy keychain blood alcohol detector so I can make sure I'm sober before I drive. FML

#6068781
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21405) - you deserved it (6803)

On 10/30/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while I was on a second date with this guy, my roommate tried calling me and I ignored her. After dinner my date brought me back to my apartment and there was a waterfall gushing down from the balcony above our apartment. The guys above us had started a fire and our apartment was flooded. FML

#6065412
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23429) - you deserved it (5861)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:31am - misc - by effinit (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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