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FMLs submitted from Oklahoma

Today, I had to apply medicine to my friend's spider bites, located on her ass crack. FML

Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML

#12100553
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31652) - you deserved it (4907)

On 07/25/2010 at 7:09am - intimacy - by girlgirlinsanity (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that I have been studying for the wrong final exam. One more hour until the test. FML

#10666872
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17075) - you deserved it (30562)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:01am - love - by finalssuck - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I accidentally rear-ended an undercover police car. FML

#10509777
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22756) - you deserved it (9178)

On 05/13/2010 at 5:00pm - misc - by shit - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

#9643258
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35339) - you deserved it (7089)

On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend told me that I think too much during sex. Now the only thing I can think about is how much I'm thinking too much. FML

#9572615
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20474) - you deserved it (5016)

On 04/02/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by kmang33 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML

#8741180
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20588) - you deserved it (6995)

On 03/01/2010 at 2:30am - intimacy - by Lovejunkie (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got sent out of the class for "inappropriate" behaviour. The teacher later forgot about me and sent a notice home to my parents stating that I skipped class. FML

#8691974
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21373) - you deserved it (5914)

On 02/27/2010 at 3:04pm - misc - by shnigel - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

#8544581
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6646) - you deserved it (16658)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:23am - intimacy - by depressed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was in the theatre watching a movie. I leaned my head back to relax. Suddenly, I hear this sneeze behind me and then I feel "rain" pouring down on my face. FML

#8350664
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21667) - you deserved it (2089)

On 02/16/2010 at 8:30pm - misc - by misspriss (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while working at my new job at a veterinary hospital, I was excited that I set a urinary catheter in a dog for the first time. I guess I was a little too enthusiastic though, because I pulled it out too fast and bloody urine splashed up all over my face. FML

#8336704
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6389) - you deserved it (25013)

On 02/16/2010 at 11:43am - work - by alex (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I grounded my son for being a smart ass. Now he can't go to the cub scout campout this weekend. He's been howling, sobbing, stomping, slamming and screaming for about three continuous hours. I am not sure who this punishment has inflicted more suffering on: my son or me. FML

Today, I went outside to scrape the inch and a half of ice off my car so I could get to work. After half an hour of intense scraping, I realized that it wasn't my car. FML

#7782560
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12350) - you deserved it (22073)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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