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FMLs submitted from Oklahoma

Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML

#14006967
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30150) - you deserved it (3675)

On 11/28/2010 at 1:02am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to my parents' for the first time in months. Upon my arrival, I found out that I won't be spending the day with them because they've taken a car trip to attend a Sarah Palin book signing. FML

#13987283
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26234) - you deserved it (5480)

On 11/26/2010 at 1:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while working as security for a football game, I told a woman she wasn't allowed to bring her snickers bar into the stadium because no outside food was allowed in. She threw it at my face than tried to spit on me. I hate people. FML

#13876582
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32102) - you deserved it (7140)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:02pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, trying to be cute, I told my soon-to-be husband he was the ying to my yang. He responded with "Baby, you're the Monica Lewinsky to my Bill Clinton." FML

#13762058
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23713) - you deserved it (7887)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I learned that my girlfriend gives good head. I didn't find out by getting one, I found out by my drunk best friend telling me. FML

#13213227
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32881) - you deserved it (2732)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after being with my boyfriend for seven years, he finally proposed. To another woman. FML

#12964178
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43779) - you deserved it (3797)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:46pm - love - by onthemarket (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML

#12911536
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22481) - you deserved it (21837)

On 09/05/2010 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML

#12903191
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23792) - you deserved it (14696)

On 09/04/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

#12879183
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31601) - you deserved it (4596)

On 09/03/2010 at 12:35am - kids - by Devon - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47025) - you deserved it (14837)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to apply medicine to my friend's spider bites, located on her ass crack. FML

Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML

#12100553
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35091) - you deserved it (5239)

On 07/25/2010 at 7:09am - intimacy - by girlgirlinsanity (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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