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FMLs submitted from Oklahoma

Today, I learned that my girlfriend gives good head. I didn't find out by getting one, I found out by my drunk best friend telling me. FML

#13213227
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30914) - you deserved it (2544)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after being with my boyfriend for seven years, he finally proposed. To another woman. FML

#12964178
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42350) - you deserved it (3678)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:46pm - love - by onthemarket (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML

#12911536
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21351) - you deserved it (20979)

On 09/05/2010 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML

#12903191
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23662) - you deserved it (14656)

On 09/04/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

#12879183
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30706) - you deserved it (4519)

On 09/03/2010 at 12:35am - kids - by Devon - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45755) - you deserved it (14575)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to apply medicine to my friend's spider bites, located on her ass crack. FML

Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML

#12100553
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34943) - you deserved it (5224)

On 07/25/2010 at 7:09am - intimacy - by girlgirlinsanity (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that I have been studying for the wrong final exam. One more hour until the test. FML

#10666872
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18463) - you deserved it (32458)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:01am - love - by finalssuck - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I accidentally rear-ended an undercover police car. FML

#10509777
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28239) - you deserved it (12159)

On 05/13/2010 at 5:00pm - misc - by shit - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

#9643258
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41249) - you deserved it (7599)

On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend told me that I think too much during sex. Now the only thing I can think about is how much I'm thinking too much. FML

#9572615
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25828) - you deserved it (6436)

On 04/02/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by kmang33 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML

#8741180
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23161) - you deserved it (7534)

On 03/01/2010 at 2:30am - intimacy - by Lovejunkie (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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