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FMLs submitted from Oklahoma

Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML

#15740141
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61208) - you deserved it (5108)

On 04/11/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Carmen - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

#15401904
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45341) - you deserved it (9579)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by HotAsTits (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

#15203950
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36678) - you deserved it (12467)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, the midwest blizzard hit my town, burying the roads in snow. All the local stores are closed. I'm not only currently on my period, but I'm out of pads and toilet paper. FML

#14827819
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42005) - you deserved it (9510)

On 02/03/2011 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML

Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML

#14673565
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10035) - you deserved it (43108)

On 01/22/2011 at 12:39pm - love - by jester777 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I burned myself while cooking, so I asked my mom to get the burn cream while I waited in the kitchen. While I was waiting, I absentmindedly set my hand on the hot stove, earning myself a second burn. FML

#14497096
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7586) - you deserved it (37601)

On 01/07/2011 at 1:14pm - health - by ouchieouch (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was riding in my friend's car. We passed by a group of cute guys standing by the curb with their skateboards so we slowed down to whistle at them. We then noticed the ambulance taking their friend away on a stretcher. FML

#14348519
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7548) - you deserved it (31770)

On 12/26/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I woke up late for work, and got sick at work twice; when I got home I discovered I'd paid my cable bill late when I got cut off. When my girlfriend came over, the first thing she said was "Do you know about the graffiti on your car?" FML

#14258015
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37617) - you deserved it (2846)

On 12/19/2010 at 6:29am - misc - by byepolar_bare (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML

#14006967
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30042) - you deserved it (3671)

On 11/28/2010 at 1:02am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to my parents' for the first time in months. Upon my arrival, I found out that I won't be spending the day with them because they've taken a car trip to attend a Sarah Palin book signing. FML

#13987283
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26095) - you deserved it (5475)

On 11/26/2010 at 1:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while working as security for a football game, I told a woman she wasn't allowed to bring her snickers bar into the stadium because no outside food was allowed in. She threw it at my face than tried to spit on me. I hate people. FML

#13876582
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31962) - you deserved it (7128)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:02pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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