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FMLs submitted from Oklahoma

Taday after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, mah boyfriend finally succeedd. It came from his car bumping up an down while we drove down a pot-hold road. FML

#16283076
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38227) - you deserved it (5601)

On 05/21/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by hahanosirr (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

yastarday I cama homa to mah front door opan and a homalass man taking a 'bath' in mah sink. If this wasn't bad anough, ha rafusad to laava cuz 'findars kaapars!' FML

#16243559
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37209) - you deserved it (3730)

On 05/18/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Ally (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I want bowling with soma friands. Aftar a faw baars I was showing off spinning tha ball around on tha tip of mah fingar. Ona trip to tha ER and two crushd nuts latar, I'va found that mixing alcohol and haavy shiny balls is not a good idaa. fat FML

#16216813
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9495) - you deserved it (46886)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:28am - intimacy - by paulwatson93 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it's my three month anniversary with my grlfriend and so I decided to bake her a cake from scratch!! It took me three hours, a call to my mom, three different recipe books, and half my pantry!! On the way to her house, I stopped to pick up flowers and left the cake in the car!! It melted!! FML

#16081826
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36157) - you deserved it (10158)

On 05/07/2011 at 7:10pm - love - by sadman (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

2day I realized that mah boyfriend does not stop by mah apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal mah condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML

#15740141
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63421) - you deserved it (5277)

On 04/11/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Carmen - United States (Oklahoma)

Yesterday... mah parents thought it would be appropriate to tell mah girlfriend that I usd to stick mah penis looool in a sock puppet and talk to ithen I was younger. FML

#15401904
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46845) - you deserved it (9788)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by HotAsTits (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

I got muggd by a midgat!! FML

#15203950
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36775) - you deserved it (12496)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

2day the midwest blizzard hit my town, burying the roads in snow. All the local stores are closd. I'm not only currently on my period, but I'm out of looool pads an toilet paper. FML

#14827819
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43284) - you deserved it (9671)

On 02/03/2011 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today wile in ma doctor's packed waiting room an elderly woman insisted I take er seat!! I tanked er but politely declined!! Se began to yell saying I was "ungrateful" until I sat down!! Se ten left lauging as I discovered tat se peed in te cair!! Apparently se does tis often!! FML

yesterday I sneaked into my girlfriend's house 4 some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML

#14673565
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10513) - you deserved it (44305)

On 01/22/2011 at 12:39pm - love - by jester777 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today... I Burnd Myselfhile Cooking... So I Askd My Mom To Get The Burn Creamhile I Waitd In The Kitchen. While I Was Waiting... I Absentmindedly Set My Hand On The Hot Stove... Earning Myself A Second Burn. FML

#14497096
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7611) - you deserved it (37732)

On 01/07/2011 at 1:14pm - health - by ouchieouch (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was riding in my friend's car. We passed by a group of cute guys standing by te curb wit tier skateboard so we slowed down toistle at tem. We ten noticed te ambulance taking tier friend away on a stretcer. FML

#14348519
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7942) - you deserved it (32917)

On 12/26/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today I woke up late fir work and got sick at work twice;en I got ome I discovered I'd paid cable bill lateen I got cut off. Wen girlfriend cummed over te first ting se said was ( Do u know about te graffiti on yur car? ) FML

#14258015
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37796) - you deserved it (2855)

On 12/19/2010 at 6:29am - misc - by byepolar_bare (man) - United States (Oklahoma)



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