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FMLs submitted from Oklahoma

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

#18966700
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31884) - you deserved it (3864)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I took my car to a drive-through car wash. It wasn't until after my back seat was filled with foam and I had been squirted in the face that I realized my back seat window was rolled down. FML

#18812717
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8050) - you deserved it (34058)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML

#18660229
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28822) - you deserved it (6743)

On 12/31/2011 at 1:48am - misc - by thechimpchapter - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

#18657042
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46343) - you deserved it (9587)

On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

#18620963
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32452) - you deserved it (4341)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by maddie - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML

#18291679
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9264) - you deserved it (60152)

On 11/19/2011 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to the bank to make a deposit. While I was waiting on my transaction, the bank tellers were making fun of me. I could tell cause I heard them through the speaker. FML

#18143971
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30171) - you deserved it (2422)

On 11/02/2011 at 11:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

#18098530
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30325) - you deserved it (17715)

On 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to break up a fistfight between my wife and mother. Apparently, my mom heard that I finally got the great paying job of my dreams, and told my wife I'd finally kick her "useless ass to the curb." We have to spend the holidays together. FML

#18056102
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27963) - you deserved it (3363)

On 10/23/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months started a bitter fight with me. The cause was me repeatedly refusing to dye my hair the way his beloved ex did. FML

#17937803
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31199) - you deserved it (3151)

On 10/08/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML

#17584476
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33075) - you deserved it (3469)

On 08/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by christine brown - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

#17502057
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40644) - you deserved it (2972)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mom showed up completely hammered to a party I was throwing. The party was to celebrate the ten years that I've been sober. FML

#17486446
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33666) - you deserved it (2661)

On 08/16/2011 at 12:54am - health - by Jillian Drute - United States (Oklahoma)



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