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FMLs submitted from Oklahoma

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I had only been dating him for about a month. Thinking he wouldn't take it very hard, I invited him over so I could tell him in person. Little did I know he was going to start crying on my couch and not leave for 5 hours. FML

#17074244
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30536) - you deserved it (9820)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:20am - love - by me - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML

#17046646
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29167) - you deserved it (3287)

On 07/09/2011 at 11:12pm - health - by ilovedirt - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to the carnival with a guy I like. When we went on the big scary ride where you flip upside down a lot, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Then, I threw up on him. FML

#16944074
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37934) - you deserved it (4168)

On 07/02/2011 at 1:33am - love - by Amanda - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs. After nearly passing out from lack of oxygen, I realized there was a hole in it. FML

#16454876
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20326) - you deserved it (25788)

On 06/01/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65271) - you deserved it (3606)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat. Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer. What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites. Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers. FML

#16374822
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7614) - you deserved it (70369)

On 05/27/2011 at 4:52pm - love - by nicole - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded. It came from his car bumping up and down while we drove down a pot-holed road. FML

#16283076
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37405) - you deserved it (5507)

On 05/21/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by hahanosirr (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML

#16243559
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35425) - you deserved it (3578)

On 05/18/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Ally (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML

#16216813
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9312) - you deserved it (46325)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:28am - intimacy - by paulwatson93 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it's my three month anniversary with my girlfriend and so I decided to bake her a cake from scratch. It took me three hours, a call to my mom, three different recipe books, and half my pantry. On the way to her house, I stopped to pick up flowers and left the cake in the car. It melted. FML

#16081826
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35949) - you deserved it (10120)

On 05/07/2011 at 7:10pm - love - by sadman (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML

#15740141
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61099) - you deserved it (5104)

On 04/11/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Carmen - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

#15401904
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45282) - you deserved it (9571)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by HotAsTits (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

#15203950
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36601) - you deserved it (12455)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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