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FMLs submitted from Oklahoma

Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML

#19066123
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24728) - you deserved it (5779)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:23pm - kids - by Katherine - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

#19009550
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31033) - you deserved it (7239)

On 02/06/2012 at 11:18am - intimacy - by jodibut - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

#18966700
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29128) - you deserved it (3594)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I took my car to a drive-through car wash. It wasn't until after my back seat was filled with foam and I had been squirted in the face that I realized my back seat window was rolled down. FML

#18812717
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7214) - you deserved it (31742)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML

#18660229
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26939) - you deserved it (6466)

On 12/31/2011 at 1:48am - misc - by thechimpchapter - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

#18657042
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43141) - you deserved it (9135)

On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

#18620963
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32214) - you deserved it (4321)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by maddie - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML

#18291679
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9191) - you deserved it (59803)

On 11/19/2011 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to the bank to make a deposit. While I was waiting on my transaction, the bank tellers were making fun of me. I could tell cause I heard them through the speaker. FML

#18143971
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27771) - you deserved it (2225)

On 11/02/2011 at 11:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

#18098530
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30039) - you deserved it (17635)

On 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to break up a fistfight between my wife and mother. Apparently, my mom heard that I finally got the great paying job of my dreams, and told my wife I'd finally kick her "useless ass to the curb." We have to spend the holidays together. FML

#18056102
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25326) - you deserved it (3115)

On 10/23/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months started a bitter fight with me. The cause was me repeatedly refusing to dye my hair the way his beloved ex did. FML

#17937803
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30942) - you deserved it (3129)

On 10/08/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML

#17584476
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30185) - you deserved it (3217)

On 08/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by christine brown - United States (Oklahoma)



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